My Grandpa Texted For The First Time In His Life Today And He Spit Straight Wisdom Out Of The Keyboard

*white parent voice* i cant believe kanye and kim named their baby North West!! thats ridiculous!! oh no, its almost 4:30, i need to pick up my kids Mackaylikiah and Ashleighyie from their water polo practice!

what i actually said: i forgot

what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i’m pregnant.

Lisa Simpson at Stuff-n-Hug

*planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what

I want a relationship that’s just like super cool friendship with like kissing

tumblr friendships are hard to maintain like im sorry i know i havent talked to you in 5 months but you’re still super rad and i still consider us friends im just dumb

Friendship is the BEST idea!