One Of The Bats Has To Go Undercover As A Patient Of A Particularly Suspect New And Upcoming Therapist.

One of the bats has to go undercover as a patient of a particularly suspect new and upcoming therapist. Bruce already has a backstory fleshed out and a cover identity, but that's no fun now is it.

Dick: Okay, the bat council is now in session. First things first-

Steph: I'm the realest.

Jason: Shut the fuck up.

Dick: No, no arguing. We're here on a MISSION.

Tim: That's right, a very important mission.

Dick: One of us has to go undercover as Dr. Hoffman's patient. But why? Why are we seeking therapy?

Tim: Wrong answers only. If any of you get too real, Dick can and will find you a real therapist.

Dick: And Tim, no superhero related answers. Bernard's PowerPoint nights give you too much of an advantage.

Tim: You're just jealous I know that Batman is actually a tulpa.

Jason: You shut the fuck up too.

---

Dick: Okay, I'll go first to get the obvious answer out of the way. I'm going because I'm secretly Batman, BUT I'm not here about that. I just have incredibly selective amnesia and can't remember the code to the Batmobile.

Jason: Oh that one's good. Let me think.

Steph: Hoffman is a man, right?

Dick: Right.

Steph: Easy, I'll claim womanly problems. Maybe get prescribed a vibrator.

Tim: *wheezes*

Dick: Ok Gotham's in the dark ages of psychology but not THAT much.

Steph: Spoilsport. Fine, I'm Batman's long lost twin sister.

Duke: Come on, we can't all go to therapy because of Batman.

Jason: I don't know, I feel like all of us should go to therapy because of Batman.

Cass: I'll go because I'm Batman.

Jason: I'd vote for you.

Duke: I think I would go because Metropolis isn't real.

Tim: Like, the whole city is-

Duke: It's a conspiracy. The government wants us to think there's this wonderful city where nothing bad ever happens and an actual alien from space saves the day. Tries to make us buy into some utopian bullshit.

Tim: Hoffman's just going to drive you there.

Duke: Ha! He's not getting ME to a secondary location. He might be in on it.

Steph: Compelling, definitely compelling. I nominate Duke's for first place.

Jason: Don't jump the gun.

Tim: Yeah, you haven't heard ours.

Steph: Well? Let's hear it then.

Tim: I'm an alien spy, sent here to study humans. Only I'm not doing well because I was taken in by rich people and they act weirder than me. I want to know what it means to be human, but whenever I look around all I see is how to make a good margarita. It makes me... sad.

Steph: That's no good. We said wrong answers only.

Jason: Solid four out of ten.

Tim: Fuck off.

Jason: I think I would go because I was convinced I was the second coming of Jesus which is all fine and good, but my whole family is Jewish so it's making things a little awkward at the dinner table.

Steph: You did come back from the dead.

Jason: I did and I'll tell him that. Took a little longer than three days this time, though.

Tim: Okay, I'll be honest. Jason and Duke's are the best.

Dick: Hold on- Damian, do you have an answer?

Damian: Of course. And not one so foolish.

Duke: Well?

Damian: Well, my whole family is comprised of vigilantes and I'm under a lot of stress to be one as well and continue the family tradition. I will of course swear him to secrecy and avoid naming any vigilantes by name.

Dick: ...

Jason: This is what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm-

Dick: Yes, okay. Game's over. All of you are getting psych referrals in your inbox by the morning.

Steph: What about-

Dick: Duke won.

Bat Family Fact Files from DC Comics: The Ultimate Character Guide

Baby's first bat family. Sorry, there wasn't a Black Bat.

My favourite bit is that Steph's epithet is "Daring Defender" while Tim's is "Daring Detective".

757 notes View Post

mini-me-28

11 months ago

jason will always bring so much comfort to me, like the man canonically protects civilians, isn't afraid to show emotions, isn't afraid to show that he cares. he's incredibly clever and meticulous, dorky at times. in a family of pretenders, brought up by a man who would rather die than show emotions and an older brother figure fixated on perfection, jason still shows vulnerability. he chases justice and closure, he gives voice to victims and survivors. beneath the scary exterior and false rumors of mindless rage is a person who, without any doubt in my book, is good, is caring, and is deserving of having that care be returned.

Tags

jason todd my character comfort is.....

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mini-me-28

1 year ago

MY LITTLE BOY

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red hood dc comics jason todd you gave hin super anxiety

645 notes View Post

mini-me-28

1 year ago

May I Interest The People In ✨Jason Todd✨?

May I interest the people in ✨Jason Todd✨?

6K notes View Post

mini-me-28

1 year ago

i need people to know that labels aren't mandatory.

Use all the microlabels you want. Go wild.

But at the same time, if you don't feel like going down that rabbit hole, just using the umbrella-term of whatever the hell you identify with is perfectly fine too. Some people don't want to be any more specific and that's totally valid :)

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lgbtqia lgbt queer labels

2K notes View Post

mini-me-28

1 year ago

“his gaze softened…”

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red hood jason todd

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mini-me-28

3 years ago

What happened to her. It’s not your fault.

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mini-me-28

10 months ago

A list of characters who would be better Nightwings than Bruce :

Tim Drake

Cassandra Cain

Damian Wayne

Donna Troy

Roy Harper with dyed hair

Conner Kent

Jon Kent

Billy Batson

Any of the Nightwings from the Ric Grayson arc

The Kool aid man

591 notes View Post

mini-me-28

1 year ago

Excellent. Young Justice 3x06 “Rescue Op”

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mini-me-28

1 year ago

Dick isn't a cheater or a womanizer. He can't stand the idea of it.

I don't know what was going on with the wedding scene and him sleeping with Barbara but that is a blatant mischaracterization of him.

There's countless examples in the comics where he talks about only being able to be with one person.

When Kori gets married to Karras under the force of her father, Dick needs to go home but she begs him to stay. But Dick can't do it.

Dick Isn't A Cheater Or A Womanizer. He Can't Stand The Idea Of It.

The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #26

He can't bear to cheat or be used as the object of cheating. His moral standards are too high for that. He also tells Kori afterwards that love should be between two people.

It's impossible for him to just sleep around.

Action Comics Issue #614

"I gotta be honest, Roy-I couldn't make love to someone I didn't really love."

He can't even sleep in the same bed as another woman when he's in love with someone else.

Batgirl (2016) Issue #17

"You could've shared the bed."

"I'm-I'm just not over Shawn yet."

To Helena he talks about how he can't sleep with just anyone and to Roy in Outsiders he scolds him for wanting to sleep with every female hero.

It's literally impossible for Dick to cheat or sleep around. He can't be romantic with people he knows he's not dating. The guy's rock solid.

Dick's morals exist for himself. He's intrinsically the most upstanding character in the DC community.

I really REALLY REALLY hate how DC dashed literally decades of characterization just so they could promote a ship.

It's SO out of character that there's scene in direct contradiction to this.

In the New Teen Titans (1984) comic, Dick has a dream about kissing Raven and he wakes up panicked next to Kory because he's dating her.

Kori tells him she sees the way Raven looks at him, in love, but Dick doesn't believe it for a second.

But this has been going on for a while and Dick is sick of it because he knows he loves Kory and no one else. He's scared and tired so Kory offers to talk to Raven for him which he gladly accepts.

The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #39

With a little kissing of course <3

So Kori meets Raven and they hang out together where Kori explains the difference between friendship love and romantic love

Raven subconsciously influenced Dick to kiss her with her powers because she was in love with him. But Kori doesn't get mad at her,

I love Kori so much.

Anyways, they have their chat and Dick meets Raven again after Kori and her three week vacation sister-bonding.

HE'S LITERALLY HAVING A MELTDOWN BECAUSE RAVEN KISSED HIM

He's full on panicking that her chat with Kori didn't work. His first thought is "where's Kory?". At this point the poor boy is scared to even be in the same room as her despite Kory giving her explicit permission to date Raven.

That's how much Dick emphasizes monogamy, love, and his partner.