Loving Me Is Like Watering A Dead Flower

Can someone take one for the team and shoot me in the fucking head thanks

I have all I want now

All I want

I wish my mother loved me as much as she hated herself

I just have this feeling

That I’m never gonna be good enough

And it’s killing me

watching my close friends live their life normally hurts so much because i wanted to achive things too. seeing them study what they want and actually can do it, get what they want, not having any problems in life, good family, and etc... and then there is me whos life is just a whole failure. it makes me wanna kms more when i hear how their life is normal and good. because i will never have a life like theirs. and before eveything, i wont see the world like them again. i lost my spark. i feel empty all the time and i dont find any meaning in living. i cant enjoy even little things like them anymore. i wish i was them. but i'm not. i'll just die in this darkness, alone with my all thoughts. there is no chance for me to see the world same again.

Everyone would be better off if I didn't exist at all

According to my therapist, I am “passively su1c1d4l.” Means I’m too chicken shit to actually pull the trigger, so I just fantasize about the bang.