Mintie-chip - Actual Fucking Trainwreck

coding is just an endless cycle of "i know nothing. i give up" and "i know everything. i am god"

I just love this image so much. How is anyone supporting him on patreon.

This is as unhinged as this laptop soon will be

You're interviewing as a software engineer and you sit down to begin a coding exercise via remote video chat. Your interviewer joins a minute late. You exchange light pleasantries, then intros. They ask you a few questions relevant to your experience and you answer them satisfactorily.

The interviewer says, "Right, lets move on to the coding exercise," and directs you to a collaborative coding website. You select your language of choice and they begin to describe your problem.

"You have an array of souls recently liberated from their mortal shell, represented by this array of signed floats called "theDead". You must design a function that determines which souls go to heaven and which souls go to hell,"

"Heaven and hell are empty. The cumulative value of all the souls in heaven and hell must both be nonzero, and exactly equal to each other. You may leave any number of souls in purgatory,"

"Your function must return a bool indicating whether the balance of heaven and hell can be met given the array of souls. The count of souls will be 0 < n < 1,000,000. Do you have any questions before you begin?"

i fucking hate writing java dude what do you mean list.stream().forEach(list2::add)??!

syntax written by clowns

You all disappoint me. Not one (1) drawing of a personified tumblr mourning the lifeless corpse of 4chan? Not ome? They were our rivals you sick fucks. Nary a whiff of 1 (one) fix-it AU? Im going to hibernate now..youve pirssed me off

it takes like 69 crashouts to get jTabbedPane1 to show up and the bitch crumples if you look at the line of code for too long

i fucking hate writing java dude what do you mean list.stream().forEach(list2::add)??!

syntax written by clowns

Ok. I am going to let you in on a secret about how to make programming projects.

You know how people write really good code? Easy to read, easy to work with, easy to understand and very efficient?

By refactoring.

The idea that you write glorious nice code straight is an insane myth that comes from thinking tutorials is how people actually code.

That is because programming is just writing. Nothing more. Same as all other writing.

The hobbit is ~95000 words.

Do you think Tolkien created the Hobbit by writing 95 thousand words?

Of course not! He wrote many many times that. Storylines that ended up scrapped or integrated in other ways, sections that got rewritten, dialog written again and again as the rest of the story happened. Background details filled in after the story had settled down

Writing. Is. Rewriting.

Coding. Is. Refactoring.

Step 1 in programming is proof of concept. Start with the most dangerous part of your project ( danger = how little experience you have with it * how critical it is for your project to work )

Get it to do... anything.

Make proof of concept code for all the most dangerous parts of the project. Ideally there is only 1 of these. If there is more than 3 then your project is too big. ( yes, this means your projects needs to be TINY )

Then write and refactor code to get a minimum viable pruduct. It should do JUUUUUST the most important critical things.

Now you have a proper codebase. Now everytime you need to expand or fix things, also refactor the code you touch in order to do this. Make it a little bit nicer and better. Write unit tests for it. The works.

After a while, the code that works perfectly and never needs to be touched is hard to read. Which does not matter because you will never read it

And the code that you need to change often is the nicest code in the codebase.

TRYING TO GUESS AHEAD OF TIME WHAT PARTS OF THE CODE WILL BE CHANGED OFTEN IS A FOOLS ERRAND.

( also, use git. Dear god use git and commit no more than 10 lines at once and write telling descriptions for each. GIT shows WHAT you did. YOU write WHY you did it )

Is this how to make your hobby project?

Yes. And also how all good software everywhere is made.