mirameana

Latest Posts by mirameana

make no mistake, I am well aware I am projecting onto both Ekko and Jinx like hell, I know...

and yet.

can't stop thinking about them.

like, imagine how he would cope with her loss. it's not that hard, there are some truly amazing fanfiction works that are exploring that topic, I am just offering you my spin, my musings that I keep leaving here instead of sitting down and writing my own fanfic.

how would he cope?

first, of course, comes the shock. just... an exhale, his chest caving in, hands trembling, tears ready to spill onto his cheeks —

and then - slam! — an imaginary metal wall drops down on him, cutting all feelings off, as if they are buzzing behind it, but Ekko can't access them anymore.

he needs to work. do something, solve something, save her someone, at least...

so he works.

there goes denial. there was no body, she may be alive, there was no body, so maybe she didn't suffer long when she died. he is fine, he is fine, he is fine, there is so much to do in Zaun, clearing out the streets, cleaning, burying, mourning, treating the injured, supporting others, overseeing the works, playing with kids, designing, inventing, building — he is freaking fine, there was no body found, so he's fine, he has no time to stop, he'll rest later, later because there's not anyone he can truly share the load with...

of course, they fucking took her from him.

of course, she fucking left. left Vi, left Sevika, damn her, left him.

she fucking left him.

alone.

to fend for himself — and everyone and everything else.

she stayed, she fought alongside him, she tinkered, ate, slept next to him — and still fucking left him!

alone!

again!

— so there comes anger

and makes everything even worse.

[tbc.]

it's so heartwarming to read fics where Ekko is all patient, level-headed, and painfully tender with Jinx.

makes me question whether I have finally turned cold, pessimistic, and heartless when I smile reading them, smile through the tears and think of how much work it would take for them both to allow themselves being soft again.

Jinx, who believes that she is a bad omen, killing and bringing misfortune to everyone she cares about and who cared about her.

and Ekko, the leader, the inspiration, the boy who became a savior before he became himself - always managing, strategizing, settling conflicts, always putting others first... because what good could ever come his way, he is a lost cause, he is damaged, he lost everyone and all that he's good for is to build and care for others so that they would never experience this - or, at least, experience it later.

for him, the world, Zaun, his people might have a chance, but Ekko... he turned himself into a tool and almost lost hope for his life, for dreaming, feeling, being soft, reckless how a teenager and a young adult are, and not as a rebel leader who sticks his hand into every trap for it not to harm his people.

how cautious it must have made him.

friendly and social, and ever cocky and confident on the outside, but closed off on the inside.

how much effort it must have taken him to really coexist with Jinx in the same space, caring for her - and for himself for the first time in years.

trying to believe and accept that this time she'd stay, that they can have good things together...

for all of that to blow up in his face.

all.

over.

again.

why can't I ever write a post that is not a long-ass stream of consciousness?

*

also, why do I think of timebomb and want to cry. they are so different. they are the same.

my poor babies.

Ekko's entire story is loss, grit, dying-but-never-dead hope, and pain.

He loses his parents, his found family, his best friend, his aspirations, and life he might have wanted for himself, he loses people to Shimmer and Silco left and right,

he loses hope to get Powder back.

he tells everyone - and himself most of all, - how much Jinx is irredeemable and beyond saving, how she should be stopped, but he can never do it.

but why? why can't he ever let go of Powder?

oh, only because of what was and what could have been. all the dreams and nightmares of the past he has, all his daydreams that flood his brain whenever he's too exhausted to fend them off - they all include her (Powder, Jinx, doesn't matter, really).

only because she knew him inside and out one day. this bond that stretches across years, persists and festers for all it could have been but is not.

it's the only love that stayed from that glossed-over, barely remembered childhood - and even this love is warped, poisoned, stomped at,

always dying, never dead.

she is the only tether to his soft years. the only living proof it was real. she is his person, his... kismet, the worst blessing, the best enemy.

she stole what they could have had from him, she killed his friends, she tried to kill him - and somewhere deep down it never mattered.

and why would it?

Powder became a story. a symbol. just a dead girl who used to be his closest friend, the one he showed all his findings and inventions to, the one who knew all his secrets -

the one who left him. abandoned him. like he was nothing - when he felt in his bones: he was her person, too.

so Powder became a story, a memory, a wound, and stories never die, and memories fade, and wounds that are scratched open again and again, never heal.

if you resent and hold a grudge against someone, yet keep missing them as you remember them, as you could have known them and had them in your life - how can you let go? how can you forget?

replaying all the memories over and over, thinking what you could have done differently -

and he has to hurt his person. over and over, and over again. swing at her, hit her, plan to destroy her.

can you imagine the anguish? the pain? the powerlessness to change anything?

every time raising his fist means adding one more haunting memory to his cognitive dissonance. the girl he loved, the girl he misses, the rabid maniac with a gun who wears her face - lies, lies, he knows her inside and out still, and it is painful and hopeless, and he can't quit remembering, missing and daydreaming.

he hurts and hopes and loses, and loses, and loses - her and his life as it was with her in it.

he loses again.

but it's not about a girl, per se.

their love has always been life-affirming and full of joy and admiration first. romantic love came later.

it's about their life that crumbled in their palms.

fighting like playing, trying to kill only to have a chance to get closer because everything else is forbidden.

*

nothing is as haunting as a life never lived,

and a love never explored.

and they were both to each other.

they were trying so hard to pretend they didn't give up, pretend they are only adversaries, and only the bad blood ties them to each other.

they succeeded, but only just.

love never lived, life never shared. the closest soul turned enemy.

that is their tragedy.

if the only thing you can vividly remember about what love feels like is just that it hurts, you start welcoming pain. chasing it, even.

right, Jinx?

right, Ekko?

*

after she slaps him to get him away, or else she'd jinx him, she never really looks at him. sweeps her gaze across him like a paintbrush, taunts, cocks her head on one side, feigning contemplation, fires at him (or does she, really?), fights him, follows him, spies on him, yet never looks at him.

not really.

not until the bridge.

not until she's sure she is going to die and the acid of vulnerability will never eat away her flesh in front of him, exposing how much she wanted to go back, back, back to where his hands were warm and gentle, just as his eyes.

she knows that for one glorious, excruciating moment, he sees her through. all that longing, pain, guilt, and exhaustion.

of course, he sees her.

of course, she doesn't die after. she is Jinx, after all.

she hates herself Ekko for that.

*

after she slaps him, something fractures in him, and he sucks in a breath, feeling how jagged edges of his broken heart pierce his lungs. she doesn't need him. Powder died, she said it herself, and Ekko repeats to himself, "Powder's dead, Powder's dead, dead." he says it to everyone, to the Firelights, to Scar, to Vi, who got back from the dead.

he looks at her anyway. he looks for her anyway.

eyes blue and mad, braids like snakes, clouds shifting along with her muscles. it's only to anticipate her attacks, he says, clutching his weapon with a sweaty hand.

the chasm in his chest throbs, mocking him.

he fails every time.

every time, until the bridge.

he feels the skin on his face tug as he smirks, his head buzzes, as do his hands, his legs, his stupid heart, hurting, squeezing, somewhere far away from his consciousness, hidden under layers and layers of old scars.

he looks at her and readies himself to throw a final punch and to finally make Jinx disappear so that he can, after all these years, bury his best friend.

and then he sees her. and his heart tugs, and he can't breathe - why is she looking at him like Powder did? why would she do that to him? -

he lowers his fist. doesn't relax his stupid hand that wants to wipe off the blood under her nose. it hurts so familiar, it's almost good.

of course, she decides to die right away.

of course, she steals it from him. she is Jinx, after all.

he misses hates her more for that.

yep, still me, still hung up on the timebomb tragedy, especially Ekko's part of it.

they are both shattered by what happened in their lives, both incredibly hurt, but, as I see it...

just imagine it went like this:

where Jinx thinks she decides to become Jinx, embody that insane, dangerous, devil-may-care explosive persona - all of it just to try and keep herself from breaking completely; just to try and give back to Silco who she saw as a father, as someone who didn't get scared by her pain, rage and voices (all the while not being a particularly good influence on her), just to not be Powder, the weak one, the outcast one, the clingy one -

to finally own and channel the jinx she came to see herself as -

Jinx got to swim in all the darkness she had within herself, drown in it, and flood the Lanes with it, free, destructive, and openly poisonous.

Jinx. The insane one. The killer one. The Loose Cannon.

- and Ekko never allowed himself to do that. he choked on his pain, swallowed it, allowed it to seep into his very bones. endured. built. provided for his community. resisted, repressed, redirected all the evil he knew in himself.

he couldn't afford to break. no. too much to lose, nothing to lose, no one to really talk to about what is eating him alive.

because how do you talk about missing your childhood friend-turned maniac... and actually missing the maniac that wore the face of Powder? who do you talk to?

how can you explain, even to yourself, that the people around you are not enough and you are longing for a connection long severed?

how can you say to your community that relies on you that you are actually a horrible hypocritical person who hates everything and sometimes everyone? who has to spend hours reminding himself that Powder is gone and Jinx is a monster and needs to be dealt with?

who enjoys fighting her? (it is exhilarating and freeing, and being in her orbit makes it okay for him to be a little insane and cruel, too - no one will notice,

Jinx outshines everyone).

Ekko knows it about himself, and hates it about himself, and has to be strong, to atone for the treacherous thoughts of missing Jinx, and not Powder, and pay for it with even more work.

say nothing, show nothing,

they all rely on you, you cannot let them down.

you cannot let them know how corrupted you are,

Boy Saviour.

okay ive thought about it and now I can't avoid wanting to just sit down and write these two fanfics where Jinx just wants Ekko to look at her, and Ekko wants her to touch him

nothing explicit, sadly, because I am unable to write it

but yeah, they both yearn af, and neither of them likes it

gonna be a wild ride

every time I think about what Ekko must have gone through whenever he had to fight Jinx, I feel... unwell.

can you imagine having to raise your hand to strike the only one who remembers you during the softer times, the one you like to think is the real you, the one you can't seem to let go?

can you imagine what you have to rip out of yourself to do that and go on, and live with yourself afterwards? how you start seeing yourself after that?

excruciating.

we know some of Jinx's demons, but Ekko's shadow must have grown inward, suffocating him,

poisoning him before he got to really know himself.

and yet... love stayed.

THIS

In the first book, Peeta is stung by tracker jackers, has the presense of mind to go back and find Katniss, shoos her away when Cato (who has also been stung) arrives, and gets severely injured but somehow not killed. (I think that's because both of them were hallucinating/willing to get out of there before their symptoms get worse).

He then proceeds to walk far enough for Katniss to have to track him for a while, find a good hiding spot close to a water source and camouphlage himself so well that even Katniss, a skilled hunter, couldn't find him. He did all that with a severely injured leg and three tracker jacker stings. He pushed the collapsing in hallucinations part for a long time. And then he stayed there for a week, infected, with no food, and didn't die.

In Catching Fire, Peeta gets electrocuted by the force field early on, and Finnick resuscitates him. He's young and healthy, and he wakes up, but electrocution alone would have left him painfully sore for a long time afterwards. All of his muscles would have contracted extremely hard and possibly spasmed when he was hit by the current, not to mention he was thrown forcefully back unconscious. I read a post a long time ago that described it as "feeling like he had the most brutal workout in his life". And then CPR is having someone literally pound on your sternum with enough force to get your heart to pump, multiple times. It hurts A LOT to be at the recieving end of it. And the muscle soreness takes days to go away.

Peeta literally spent the following days continually hiking, in the heat, with no water (until they figured it out), after all of that. He barely got any chance to recover, and a couple days later he was also taking turns with Finnick carrying Beetee on his back. Not to mention everything else that the others also went through. Oh, yeah, and he's got an amputated leg.

Talk about a strong constitution.

It's the smallest thing maybe but it's funny to me Sunrise on the Reaping has given me another reason to dislike Gale.

Thinking of Madge on reaping day, wearing her nice dress and Gale giving her shit for it. Like she has a choice. Like she has say. Like it's her fault who she was born to. It's such an interesting example of class vs culture wars. This idea that the people up the road who have a nice house are the enemy and not the faceless people thousands of miles away who profit on their poverty.

Thinking of Maysilee who was very conscious of the way she dressed. Who liked looking nice and dressing up. Who is Madge's aunt that she never met. Who Madge heard stories of growing up about her moms twin sister who always loved fashion and knew the importance of masking and the power of how you present to people. Don't let them treat us like animals.

And when Madge lifts her head and says "I want to look my best if I go to the Capitol" and Gale has the audacity to scoff at her.

It also speaks to how quickly history is lost. He probably doesn't even know her aunt died in the games. Doesn't care. You never ever ever know what hurt people are carrying. What their history is. What their familial struggle has been. Don't punch down. Don't punch sideways. Don't even punch up. Break the chain and destroy the person holding the reins.

Themes of Implicit Submission in The Hunger Games (Book One)

I’ve just finished re-reading The Hunger Games (book one) and there are a few themes that I expect SOTR will develop based on Hume’s implicit submission theory. Specifically, these are the main six tactics I believe the Capitol uses to thwart another rebellion present in the first book alone: 

Societal Pressure:

District 12 has a “keep your head down” culture. Any talks of rebellion are frowned upon. Any anti-government statements will cause social repercussions. It’s not just Katniss rolling her eyes at Gale in the woods, it’s how she has been groomed by the culture to keep quiet about the issues pervading life in the district:

“When I was younger, I scared my mother to death, the things I would blurt about District 12, about the people who rule our country, Panem, from the far-off city called the Capitol. Eventually, I understood this would only lead us to more trouble. So I learned to hold my tongue and to turn my features into an indifferent mask so that no one could ever read my thoughts. Do my work quietly in school. Make only polite small talk in the public market. Discuss little more than trades in the Hob.… Even at home, where I am less pleasant, I avoid discussing tricky topics. Like the reaping, or food shortages, or the Hunger Games. Prim might begin to repeat my words and then where would we be?” (p.6)

All of this proceeds the statement:

“Even here, in the middle of nowhere, you worry someone might overhear you.” (p. 5)

Under this point, it is also telling that during the reaping ceremony, Katniss says the “boldest form of dissent [the audience] can manage,” is silence. Not outrage, not yelling, not like district 11, but silence (p. 24).

2. Division between Classes 

The Capitol has created conflict within the districts to draw hatred to a local target. In the case of the first book, Gale remarks tesserae is a tactic to keep them divided. 

“Gale knows his anger at Madge is misdirected. On other days, deep in the woods, I’ve listened to him rant about how the tesserae are just another tool to cause misery in our district. A way to plant hatred between the starving workers of the Seam and those who can generally count on supper and thereby ensure we will never trust one another. “It’s to the Capitol’s advantage to have us divided among ourselves,” he might say if there were no ears to hear but mine.” (p. 14)

Interestingly, tesserae is already known as the “courtesy of the capitol” as stamped on Haymitch’s shorts in SOTR. The Capitol markets tesserae as something it does out of goodness. It attempts to make itself seem well-intentioned via the distribution of necessary goods. It’s their courtesy, after all. 

This point also includes the division between the districts. In the games, Katniss remarks how allying with the careers is essentially traitorous. 

“No one from District 12 would think of doing such a thing! Career tributes are overly vicious, arrogant, better fed, but only because they’re the Capitol’s lapdogs.” (p. 162)

By treating certain districts better, the Capitol promotes distrust between the districts, dampening potential unionization with planted hatred. By choosing favorite children, the parent that is the Capitol forces the districts to fight. 

3. Weaponized Language

The name of the Treaty of Treason, the treaty that makes the Hunger Games necessary per the law, is definitive of how the districts are forced to see themselves. They are the ones who committed treason by rebelling, and therefore they are guilty. They must repent by sending the children to the games. The permanent treaty, read during every reaping ceremony, enforces the guilt the districts are supposed to feel. In turn, the fact it is a “treaty” means the districts must have agreed to and signed it. Regardless of the circumstances around the signing of the treaty, the capitol then has the ability to wave it over their heads henceforth. 

The name itself points a finger and keeps the districts forever at fault. 

Furthermore, the fact Katniss is referred to by her district number until and even after she is given something to remember her by (the fire) further dehumanizes the tributes. During the parade, she says the citizens of the capitol have liked her and Peeta enough to "read the program" and learn their names (p. 70).

There are many more examples of villainizing and dehumanizing language in the book, but I have chosen those examples for the sake of brevity.

4. Propagandizing Education

A major theme in many dystopian novels is how the system treats education. In District 12, Katniss tells the reader:

“Besides basic reading and math, most of our instruction is coal-related. Except for the weekly lecture on the history of Panem. It’s mostly a lot of blather about what we owe the Capitol.” (p. 42)

A weekly lecture in a school is quite a lot of time to devote to any one subject. Seeing as how the rest of their curriculum revolves around district-specific content, the weekly lecture must be mandated across all districts, likely leaving the rest up to the discretion of the district itself. The Capitol once again emphasizes how the districts were wrong. It is repeated week after week, and eventually, it becomes ingrained in the social psychology of the district. 

5. Hunger and Deprivation of Needs

Continuing from the section about Katniss knows the weekly lecture must be propaganda, saying,

“I know there must be more than they’re telling us, an actual account of what happened during the rebellion. But I don’t spend much time thinking about it. Whatever the truth is, I don’t see how it will help me get food on the table.” (p. 42)

This point coincides with my second point about the division of classes. By keeping the people hungry, they are too busy thinking about the lowest rung on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. They see those who have food, and they are the opposition in front of them, rather than examining the source of the problem. By keeping the people hungry, they are less likely to have the time or ability to even think about a collective uprising. 

6. Limiting Flow of Information

The Capitol limits the flow of information between districts. In doing so, the districts are forced to make bridging assumptions about one another. This is revealed through Katniss and Rue’s discussion in the games: 

“It’s interesting, hearing about her life. We have so little communication with anyone outside our district. In fact, I wonder if the Gamemakers are blocking out our conversation, because even though the information seems harmless, they don’t want people in different districts to know about one another.” (p. 203)

By keeping them separate, they can turn any district against another. They rely solely on the Capitol for information about other districts, and therefore the Capitol has all of the power. 

Interestingly, another division between classes is shown through Peeta’s knowledge about other districts. He knows the different types of bread from the districts, implying the merchant class may have more access to information than those of the seam, leading to further division between classes. 

All in all, these are the themes I expect to be addressed in SOTR based on the pretense of implicit submission.

Broke: "Katniss was only with Peeta because of their shared trauma of the Games and the events that followed. After what they went through together, there was no one who truly understood her like Peeta. But if Prim and Peeta had never been reaped, Katniss would have ended up with Gale/stayed single."

Woke: "The Games and the events that followed brought Katniss and Peeta together, but there was something special between them since the day with the bread. Katniss had a subconscious interest in him since they were 11, and after the reaping she couldn't help but fall for him due to their close proximity. The Games weren't her reason for choosing Peeta, but they were a catalyst for their relationship."

Bespoke: "The Games did more to hinder Katniss and Peeta's relationship than to help it. In fact, without the Games to complicate things, Katniss would have fallen for Peeta fast and hard. The Games and the events that followed were responsible for countless barriers to their love including (but not limited to):

1. Instilling in Katniss a distrust of Peeta that did not come naturally to her

2. Forcing her to act in love, regardless of the authenticity of her feelings, in order to survive

3. Broadcasting every moment they shared, no matter how intimate/private, onto every screen in every house in the country

4. Driving them apart due to the pain and confusion that followed the inevitable end of her "star-crossed lovers" act

5. Making their relationship a political tool of manipulation and oppression

6. Leading Snow to hold Katniss personally responsible for defusing the civil unrest within the Districts by means of their love story

7. Forcing them under threat of death to act in love for the rest of their lives, thereby taking away their agency and ability to choose each other out of real love or desire

8. Robbing them of a future together, even if they wanted it, by returning Katniss to the Games and ensuring the death of at least one of them

9. Traumatizing them in ways they'll have to deal with for the remainder of their lives

10. So many other things

The Hunger Games is NOT the story of how Katniss fell in love with Peeta due to or even during the Games. It's the story of how Katniss fell in love with Peeta IN SPITE OF THEM."

so true

and we adore them for it

everlark has the silliest “we’re trying so hard to be a situationship but unfortunately we have been symbolically married since we were eleven” thing going on

While I love the tragedy of Timebomb

On a much more lighthearted note, there is something quite funny about Ekko, being like objectively one of the best catches of Arcane, especially out of the guys.

Like A+, sir. Best guy ever. 

And then him seeing the rabid, chaos gremlin that is Jinx and is like

    Her! I want her.

in my next life, I would like a chance to be soft - and not get belittled

or shamed

or dismissed

or laughed at for that.

i would like a chance to be bold and loud, bright and boisterous, and covered in glitter, in kisses from those I love - from head to toe - in sunlight, to get so free and unrestrained that all little parts of me would get a spotlight in this world at least twice

(one of them for this life, where I am lost and scared, and empty, always empty)

I would like to live unafraid.

- sure of my place, of my wants and dreams, of my words.

- not trying to reach out to everyone and thinking that I am healing some part of myself that wants being held and cherished, being seen, known, and remembered.

it would be such a nice life.

but in this one

i can't afford to be soft.

oh yes, i am

frothing at the mouth over Ekko, that is

Ekko's got to be some ultimate form of wish fulfilment. He could be in love with anyone! And he falls for his less then stable, childhood best friend, turned enemy, come terrorist, ender of multiple friends, bringer of shimmer, nightmare of a mobster's daughter instead! You just knoooow all the girlies who think they're unlovable, too much trouble are frothing at the mouth over him.

so I did a thing

Ekko: You have the smarts, the looks, and the power to take whatever you want

Jinx: And tell me, what do I want?

Ekko: Me. On the bed, beneath you. At your mercy

The Good Place Appreciation Week Day 6: Favorite Lesson/s

People need to understand that Zutara isn't about Zuko being the hot and sexy dream guy that makes Katara swoon. It's about their complimentary Tired Parent™️ energy and the fact that Zuko is—at all times—slightly terrified of Katara in the most smitten way possible.

i really hate when people dismiss the ending of his dark materials because it leans into the trope "love saves the world". truly, that is what the story is about, but reducing it to a cliché is doing a disservice to the point the story is making. when it says that love says the world, it's rewriting the meaning of sin by saying that giving into desire is not shameful. it's telling us to be brave enough to experience. it's saying that dying for love can have powerful impact, but living for it is much more romantic. it's saying that storytelling saves the world, because telling stories is a language of love. it's saying that the bonds we create with other people will outlast death as long as we share our memories. it's showing how a simple childhood friendship is extraordinary enough to change the course of a war between heaven and earth. is there a better way to end a trilogy that intertwines so many paths of love than with a kiss that shifts the fabric of multiple universes?

It's them.

how do you think it happened?

was it the realization that hit her in the dead of night, with only his steady breath and the ghosts of a forgotten district to keep her company?

the realization that the ache in her chest when she saw him in pain was not simply a heart attack. or that the subtle pitter patters that danced around her heart only seemed to accompany him.

was it the smile that she couldn't help but bare as she whisked her feet towards the towering victor's village? where he would be awaiting her, arms offering bread. offering life.

was it the warmth that spread from her fingertips as his knuckles fit perfectly against hers. uniting them. as friends. as allies. as something so much more.

was it the soft kisses that peppered caresses that wiped away tears? tears of a tormented past. mixed with the reassurance that, after everything, at least they still had each other. and that was enough.

or did it come slowly? as she stared at the curves of his face in the dark, illuminated by candlelight. reminding her of the different colors and shapes that touched his face in their years together.

like the bruise he bore to save her. or the crinkle in between his eyebrows that deepened when he realized she was going to do anything to save him. even if that meant she didn't make it home. or the terror that flooded his features as he refused to let her go. making her live to see another day.

and maybe, in the quiet solitude of their room, the memory of his many faces sprinkled throughout their history pointed to one thing. his goodness. 

the goodness that forged them together. from the bread to the primrose. the goodness that reminded her that there was a future to hope for. the goodness that reminded her that she had goodness of her own. and that she always had.

how do you think it happened? that inevitable declaration. the kind that wasn't as much of a declaration but rather a confirmation of feelings brewing under the surface. feelings that crept up on her.

ones that had been real all along.

catching fire // metamorphoses: orpheus and eurydice // the hunger games: catching fire // metamorphoses: orpheus and eurydice // to love is to turn back - aaronstveit // peeta's games: throwing sparks - igsygrace // catching fire // orpheus and eurydice by emily balivet // mockingjay // eurydice // the hunger games: mockingjay part 2 // mockingjay // the hunger games: mockingjay part 2 // mockingjay

Darker times will come and go

Times you need to see her smile

And mothers' hearts are warm and mild

I would rather feel this world through the skin of a child

—AURORA; Through the Eyes of a Child

oh my heart

everything, everywhere, all at once

if you recommend me a good zutara fic ill kiss your cute lil head

I'll say it twice, and this one will be brief.

Your favorite fanfiction works, ships, and tropes say more about you and your heart than your favourite books (especially, classics and "something for well-rounded people).

What we want in secret is what we seek in the cracks and hidden corners of our favourite stories.

I love "idiots to lovers" trope so much because I am an idiot when it comes to romance and being loved,

yet I want to be loved

desperately.