Latest Posts by mmermaidangel - Page 7
My chronic pain doctor suggested I exercise more
I asked him “how?”
He looked confused. Said I should try a bit every day
I said “not when, how?” I asked what exercises I should do
He suggested half a dozen options that had all been explicitly banned by other doctors. I’m not allowed to run. I’m not allowed to bike. I’m not allowed to use my rowing machine or my punching bag.
I walk my dog whenever I have the energy and when it doesn’t hurt too much
What else can I do?
He told me I should exercise more
And then he changed the subject.
Me: “I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING IS OKAY🥺😭”
*Doctor walks in with lab results*
Me : “-NOT YOU!”
“but you’re so young!” congrats. you just proved that your biases about what disabled looks like are preventing you from acknowledging the facts.
This is very important...
Chronic pain pisses me off cause I'm not even incapacitated for like a cool or badass reason instead my body is throwing the world's biggest temper tantrum because it's raining outside
genuinely one of the worst experiences is recognizing when something IS ableist but not being able to articulate that it is without someone saying shit like "omg you people can't do anything"
Some people don’t want to hear this but sometimes accessibility is not sustainable or eco-friendly. Disabled people sometimes need straws, or pre-made meals in plastic containers, or single-use items. Just because you can work with your foods in their least processed and packaged form doesn’t mean everyone else can.
being disabled will really have you thinking/saying things like “yeah i’m not really THAT disabled. as long as i take my meds twice a day (and as needed), eat and drink exactly the right things, keep the perfect balance of being active and resting, the weather is stable, and nothing unexpected happens AT ALL… i’m totally FINE! i probably should not even call myself disabled at this point because i’m doing so well!”
if you don’t want to call yourself disabled, that’s fine and it is your choice! but if you’re only “fine” or “doing really well” when a bunch of different variables are all lined up perfectly, then maybe you are not fine actually. just a thought!
you know the drill, op disabled reblogs etc etc etc
Shout out to the ten year old who just got diagnosed. Shout out to the housebound fourteen year old. Shout out to the eighteen year old who can’t go to the university they wanted. Shout out to the twenty two year old who can’t get a job. Shout out to the twenty six year old with a caretaker. Shout out to the thirty year old who can’t buy their own house.
Shout out to young disabled people. We exist.
there's disabled people out there who could probably work if they really really pushed themselves, but don't work. there's people who could probably do more housework than they can, or aren't putting out the maximum amount of effort they are able to manage. and you know what? that's great. those people don't have to wring every last drop of ability from their bodies to be allowed to have a break. or be supported. i'm so happy that there might be disabled people who got support before things were dire. i think more disabled people should get support so that less of them have to work even if they can at a push, and more of them have time to do important things. like take a nap. ameen
sometimes I forget standing up isn’t painful and difficult for most people so I’ll be watching something like game changer and see the people standing behind their podiums the whole episode and think ‘wow don’t they need to sit down. how can they still think coherent thoughts’ and then I’m like oh. yeah. I have a disease
Being disabled has made me notice all of the ways the world is failing in accessibility. I’m fortunate that I can now open doors with my arms/hands, but do you know how many times I look around and there is no wheelchair access button on public doorways? Or how many times the button is broken? Or how there is no place to sit in a store, or the chairs were recently removed when I planned on using them to rest? Not to mention the uneven sidewalks, or aisles that are too narrow, or whatever else? People really do forget disabled people exist.
I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.
I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.
My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."
That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!
maybe harsh take. but. shitting on people who can't care about selves. who live with parents. who rely on partners in 'basic' tasks. (yes even body care tasks). who got chores done for them. who don't work. is ableist. even if clarify 'this specific person isn't disabled.' it still perpetuates stigma. it still ableist.
say exactly what wrong. have they overstepped someone's boundaries? have they pressured someone into care? have they manipulated abused etc.? something else? point wrong behavior. n critique this behavior.
'they're 30 n live with parents' not bad behavior. 'their parent cut their nails' not bad behavior. 'they don't work' not bad behavior.
'but they're abled!' 1) you don't know for sure. can't know for sure. undiagnosed n invisible disabilities exist. not every undiagnosed individual able to take care of self. recognize undiagnosed n invisible disabilities existence not only when they look 'nice' for you. 2) it still contributes to stigma around needing care. disabled people often not seen as disabled. even if visibly disabled. every individual presumed abled because ableism. so disabled individuals will be shitted on because need care. because presumed abled.
to destigmatize needing care. have to destigmatize getting care. even if not see as 'reasonable' n 'justified.' can't destigmatize needing care if say 'getting care depending on others living with parents etc. is bad but disabled is exception.' because still stigmatize process of getting cared.
people don't need allowance n approval of society to get care.
(not say not call out bad behavior. ask call out bad behavior specifically. not stigmatized neutral things).
one thing i wish ableds would remember is that, unfortunately disability doesn't magically pause for holidays, special events, or celebrations. just because it happens only once a year or you saved up for it doesn't mean that people are not disabled. the fact that a member of your group is disabled should have been included in the planning in the very first place because we can't just wing it or push through.
Being neurodivergent and chronically ill is crazy because you already have issues with executive functions and then your body hinders you even more. AND your sensory issues are heightened by the pain you feel.
there’s nothing shameful about making things easier or more accessible for yourself btw.
if your disability means you can rarely/never cook so you have to order out a lot, or buy precut ingredients, or if you need other people to help you cook even “simple” meals.
if your disability means you struggle with personal hygiene so you don’t shower standing up, or don’t brush & floss “correctly” or long enough, or put up your hair when you can’t handle brushing it.
if your disability means you’re not able to engage in your hobbies in a “normal” or “correct” way. if you have to watch movies multiple times because your brain fog is making it hard to follow the plot. if you need accessibility tools to be able to draw or paint. if you have to do everything from bed.
you’re not doing anything bad or wrong. you’re being kind to yourself and caring for yourself in the ways that you’re able to. it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
hi, you there who are or are thinking about spending all day in bed, it’s okay, I’m not telling you to get up. I’d just like to do a quick check in to make sure you’ve got everything you need to be comfortable and safe.
Have you gotten up to take any meds you need?
Do you need to open or close your windows or curtains/blinds to make your environment nicer? (Fresh air, keep the cold out, sunlight/darkness)
Do you have a water bottle or a glass of water easily accessible? (Can also be juice, cordial, a meal replacement drink or anything else)
Do you have any over the counter or prescription as required meds you might need, like painkillers or anti nausea meds?
Is your phone or laptop charged?
Are you wearing comfortable clothing?
Do you have enough blankets/pillows to be warm and comfortable?
Do you have any snacks like fruit or chips or muesli bars in case you can’t get up to make a meal?
Are you able to change positions in bed (or sit up if you’re able)?
Do you have any regulation tools like fidgets, ear plugs, or journaling/art books or low energy hobbies you might want?
Are you being gentle and patient with yourself and your body today?
Thanks for doing this check in with me. I like to have some of these things prepared on my nightstand, or all together in the same space in my room so I don’t have to do as much work on low energy days. It can also help to have someone else prepare or get these things for you if you’re unable. Hope you have an uncomplicated day.
friend asked recently how I knew I was autistic (late self dx) and after a joking answer of ‘five autistic people told me unprompted in the span of about two weeks, I settled on: I don’t.
I don’t Know that I’m autistic. What I do know is that my life makes more sense, and is easier to navigate, when I view it through the lens of being autistic.
I learnt what masking was, and started to undo the damage of 20+ years of it. I let myself stim for the first time out of joy and it was incredible. I recognised it as a regulation skill and started using it for coping. I stopped being cruel to myself about making ‘weird’ noises, I let myself ask for tone clarification from friends. I stopped thinking I was being rude by mimicking others (echolalia). I started respecting my own communication needs and differences. I started being able to communicate these with friends and loved ones, and had the language to do so. I recognised my sensory needs and was better at reducing shutdowns and meltdowns (which is also been confused by and blamed myself for in the past). I also could better identify things that were genuinely impeding on my life and ways to work with myself around them. (Social situations are easier now that I know what information I need before hand, and can prepare. I know what the difficulty involved in switching tasks is and can work with myself on it.)
Mostly I stopped bullying myself the way I’d been bullied growing up for everything that has made me ‘weird’. I stopped policing everything I did the way my parents had in an effort to ‘help’ me blend in. (I don’t resent them for this- I understand that what they did to me is likely what was done to them and they didn’t (and don’t) recognise it.)
Not a weird or broken horse, but a regular zebra.
No random abled person, you're not actually wishing that you HAD to stay in bed, you're wishing that you COULD. And you're not wishing that you COULDN'T work no matter how important, you're wishing that you had THE OPTION not to
ive seen people talk about the whole "wow, you can't work? im jealous, i wish i could rest all the time." and like yes, it isn't restful because it's filled with distressing symptoms. but also? there is such a thing as too much down time. you genuinely don't want to be laying in bed or sitting on the couch all the time. you don't want to be stuck doing things that don't result in any tangible fulfillment, just to escape the boredom. and you certainly don't want all that on top of the pain, fatigue, etc. that comes with disability.
a lot of us don't get to go for a daily walk. we don't get to just get up and go to the store, out to eat, the library, or whatever event is happening nearby. we often can't engage with our passions, at the very least to the extent we'd like. we're stuck, and often can't meet our basic needs like hygiene. there's so much down time and nothing to fill it with. our doctors appointments might be the only thing to get us out of the house. it's depressing. it's lonely. and at a certain point you can start to wonder why you're even alive in the first place.
so no. you don't wish you could be like us. you just don't want to be slaving away to a job that doesn't care about you, takes up all your time, and prevents you from doing the things you love. so just say that instead. because as people who can't work, who are so aware of the cruelty of this system, odds are we'll understand. and instead of alienating us, we'd be able to connect with you on that. and connection and understanding is something that makes life a lot better. worth living for, even.
Original post: https://www.tumblr.com/un-monstre/731346185908092928/disability-will-have-you-thinking-shit-like-im
Cockring Ken found while I was doll hunting today!
Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually
🐯 🐯 🐯