March 31st, 2025

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

Tibor Florian Varga

23.9.21 | Reading about animal vulnerability for my English literature class.

colombian coffee and portuguese pastéis de belém, all in gràcia, barcelona.

omw to the library with an iced cinnamon dolce latte because i can’t seem to focus without leaving the house and spending money 🏃‍♀️

I believe that the little things can change your life. Like when you decide to change your old orange toothbrush to a new purple toothbrush. Like when you notice that your music playlist makes you feel like ocean breeze instead of summertime sadness. Like when you notice the sunlight isn't harsh so a walk out might be good. When you comb your hair every night and brush your teeth before bed and apply your lipbalm and when you notice you are the only one who does. You know you care more for yourself than you think. That's how life changes. By noting the little things and making the slight changes. Notice how you deleted the contact instead of blocking it? How you wrote the shitty poem instead of forgetting it? How you studied for five minutes when that's all you could give? How you pray everyday now when religion used to be only a question? How about the times you decided to just sit close to your loved ones but without talking you just scrolled yt because words failed you? All these things that you did, the little changes you could afford, that feels like rain with grey skies amidst sunshine, a favorite scenery, your little life is decorated without your own knowledge. I think that's a little big thing.

Day 43

2025.4.15

Went to Vienna in February '25 to visit the archive and attend a conference. The archive wasn't very successful, so instead I saw lots of impressionist art!

notes upon notes upon notes 🎶

[research life]

Researching plants, studying at the library, cherry blossoms at night 🌿📝🕯️✨🌸