I Loveeeeeee Nonlinear Storytelling. Show Me Where We Are. Now Show Me How We Got Here. The End Before

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Call For Alpha Readers

The time has come to send my baby into the unknown and let it be perceived.

I am in search of ALPHA READERS to read and give feedback on the second draft of my manuscript.

The Tomb’s Whisper is a new adult fantasy that you can read about here.

The Details

You will be given access to my complete manuscript and a list of questions to guide your feedback.

I am looking for a one month turnaround for a 70k manuscript, but I can be flexible on deadlines as long as there is open communication.

In return, I am willing to offer my services as alpha or beta reader, or read and comment on a piece of your choosing.

What I Need

Detailed feedback on pacing, plot, character development, character dynamics, and overall impressions.

What I Am Not Looking For

An editor. This is a second draft, grammar and structure will be iffy in places and we all have to live with that.

Reviewers. This is a second draft and my first ever novel-length work. I am not claiming to be Brandon Sanderson.

If you are interested, please fill out this Google Form to sign up! I will reach out to everyone personally to confirm details.

Throwing the tag list on here in case you want to spread the word: @outpost51 @writernopal @avrablake @writingrosesonneptune @theroseempress (please ask to be +/-)

I adore this so much. The emotions of the characters can just be felt. I don't know the full context, but even so, it was clear how much they cared about each other, and they truly felt like family.

I wish we could love.

WIP; Out of Sight and Mind

Context: Ari, who has returned to his hometown following his parents death, was a teenage runaway who faked his own death to escape abusive parents. This is a conversation between him and his brother about being in love for the first time since he left, and the childhood that pushed them apart.

Neptune is Ari's childhood best friend, who he loved but dragged into some shit situations.

Edward is Ari's current love interest.

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial

--

"I loved her, and I haven't loved another person since," Ari whispered with intense soberness to the ceiling. His eyes were red in the glare of the morning sun, yet dark as if the night had never left him.

"I know," Eli sat down with surprising tenderness in his voice - a moment of peace he rarely had, given only for the expressive heartache Ari rarely showed. Not even time could truly sever a brother's love.

"It feels...wrong, somehow."

"Because you love him, or because you're loved at all?" Ari breathed in the air, and it turned into something sickening in his stomach. Nausea fell like waves upon him, his hand finding his forehead just to press down, feel less like every piece of him was falling away.

"I suppose I don't have a leg to stand on, to be upset she lied to my face...after leaving her."

"It broke her into pieces, but it pushed her to her own freedom."

"I was a chain on her."

"You were," it was solemn, truthful, "...you pulled her downwards, and letting go was the only way she'd see the sky again." Ari felt the tears burn, hearing it spoke so plainly. "But you were a teenager, forced to make decisions no teenager should have to make - it'd hardly a blame you chose the wrong one."

"You never forgave me." What if he hadn't changed, what if all these years were a mirage, and he only ended up breaking Edward the way he broke Neptune?

"I never understood." Ari pressed the heel of his hand against his eyes and begged the tears to stop. His body felt hot with the want to curl up in a ball away from Eli, from Neptune, from everyone. He'd hardly had a second of silence since he'd got to this god-forsaken place. "But I overheard you talking to Edward, and I do now."

"I never wanted you to know."

"I know," Eli's voice cracked, "...you subjected yourself to years of my anger to protect me from the truth."

"I wanted you to have good parents, and they loved you-"

"But they hurt you."

"It made me stronger."

Eli shook his head "...not stronger, traumatised, look at you Ari; a boy tells you he loves you, and you feel like it's the end of the world, that's not strength, that's pain."

"I just don't understand."

"You are so much more lovable than any of us have ever made you feel," Eli's voice shook with a deep tremble that reminded Ari of thunder rumbling through the sky. The natural order, disturbed by a tremor in the humidity. "Alicia is better at this than I," he laughed with discarded mirth, "...you are my brother, and you came here for me knowing it would tear you to pieces, and I love you."

Ari didn't know what to say, his mouth opened and closed, but the words burned and stopped in his throat. He desperately wanted to say it, to tell his little brother he would jump in front of a bullet for him, that he'd tear apart the world to keep him safe. But he didn't. He looked at Eli with something dejected and fearful, and just prayed that he understood.

Reblog if you’re grateful for your commenters <3

Ah, got it. Unicorns, pegasus, alicorns, and honestly, that show had lots of cool creatures! It's a great source of inspiration.

And that would be the Striants. They're the creatures of Desiderius, the demon of lust. They're basically these adorable black puffballs with red shimmering accents. They can capure pure soul energy from other entities and store or transfer it. Also they produce like rabbits, so there is a bunch of them in Des' realm lol. They are the creatures of the demon of lust, after all.

Dark but oddly adorable fact, Striants bleed but they can not actually be killed. They bleed to scare off annoying predators via playing dead. When they're safe, they literally play in puddles of their own blood, not understanding how dark that is because they do no understand death. Des often tells the rest of the cast that to stop them from finding Striants adorable. It's impossible though. They are, at the end of the day, cuddly puffballs (that just so happen to also play in their own blood).

I'm late, but happy worldbuilding wednesday! Any favorite animals who've created or modified for your story?

Thanks for the ask! Also late, haha.

I've created creatures inspired from various animals. Now... favorites? Hmm... Do dragons count? I only have: a anime typical half-jaguar oc; a raccoon skull in the design of a giant; dragons, dragon people, dragonborn, dragon inspired designs, original fantasy dragons, etc.

*None of the real life examples above appear in a WIP I'm currently working on.

My favorite animals are black jaguars, dogs, corvids, raccoons, cats and blue whales.

My top favorite fantastical creatures are: dragons (the broad, ineffable definition) and ponies.

Teenage Wasteland Chap. 2 Snippet

Sunlight streamed into Samantha’s cavernous garage, illuminating a lone scarlet-colored toolbox and stacks of cardboard boxes which smelled faintly of dust and old newspapers. Yet more pervasive of all was that stench of motor oil which clung to the air, a thick, greasy perfume even the strong breeze couldn’t quite shift. This emptiness came with a strange comfort, the perfect canvas for Sam and Tegan’s rehearsal space; the quiet hum of the neighborhood traffic added a low background thrum to their afternoon. Samantha’s parents’ absence, a welcoming situation, stretched out before them like a long, open road.

“Yeah, we both should sing, right? Like, If’n it makes you feel better. I can be the lead, but you got to be my back up.” Samantha offered the well-used can turned weed-bowl towards Tegan. “I can’t be singing alone, ya know?”

The metallic clang of the can against the lighter echoed as Tegan inhaled deep of the weed’s smoke, the butane’s sharp scent stinging her nostrils. She sat the can down on a rough, large cardboard box, its texture a sharp contrast to the smooth metal. “I can’t sing for shit,” she mumbled, her voice husky from the smoke. “You are the one with the beautiful voice.”

“Hah! No! I’m going to go all punk with this shit. Because this isn’t ‘bout beauty. We’re going to make music and say, ‘fuck the man,’ all at the same time.” Samantha’s passion took over as she strummed the V-shaped guitar strapped around her. “Now let’s make some music!”

With a snorting laughter, Tegan nodded. “Fuck yeah! We’ll be the next Bratmobile or Bikini Kill. But before we get to that point, co-band leader, what’cha playing?”

“I don’t know! Fuck it! Let’s jam!”

Not saying a word, Tegan moved over to Samantha, the soft brush of her cheek against Sam’s a fleeting whisper. An almost secret smiled played on their lips; they both smelled of Teen Spirit, the Romantic Rose scent, that is. They’d tried to conceal their affections from the older generations—a hushed giggle, a furtive glance, but here they could do what they wanted. Being so far back from the road, no one could see them.

****

@fablesandfragments @seastarblue @vesanal @theink-stainedfolk @leahnardo-da-veggie

@aalinaaaaaa @an-indecisive-nerd @write-with-will @the-ellia-west @carb0n-m0n0xide

@inadequatecowboy @kitkins13 @watermeezer @shepardstales @bardic-tales

@dyrewrites

Ooo I loved this! It gave me the chills. It felt so visual to, I could just visualize each scene.

— An extra-narrative writing exercise based on my work, The Taste of Hallowed Earth

If you're a writer you're supposed to write a lot of bullshit. It's part of the gig. You have to write a lot of absolute garbage in order to get to the good bits. Every once in a while you'll be like "Oh, I wish I hadn't wasted all that time writing bullshit," but that's dumb. That's exactly the same as an Olympic runner being like "Oh, I wish I hadn't wasted all that time running all those practice laps"

Actually being a little guy? Nah. Little guy status is all you need. /lh

I'm late but happy world building wednesday! Any favorite animals who've created or modified for your story?

I'm late to answer, as always xD

I think the massive spiders in The Poison Complex, or maybe the radiation squirrels that are still really jumpy like they're not the size of rabbits and as fast as a cheetah. They still have little guy status. In my heart.