New Piece! Am Calling Her “Skör” (fragile In Swedish).

sorry can’t talk i’m too busy romanticizing vampirism

Hi! This is out of the blue, but I saw your tags on the post that said "so normal people don't have whole conversations in their heads?" and this question is actually one I've been trying to figure out an answer to for a decade, to some success. The inside of everyone's brain looks different and sounds different, and their thoughts process in different ways. This is all anecdotal, but a few examples:

Typewriter to process verbal thoughts + never-ending checklist (my mother, who has clinical anxiety)

Music and noise 24/7, thoughts tumbling over one another, and a literal conscience that was present during his childhood & who could talk, who kept his impulses in check (my brother, who has ADHD and struggled with authority as a child)

A library arranged in self-contained hexagonal shelves, 6 levels each, 6 books per shelf - to think and recall information was to grab books from around the library. Conversations with own self would absolutely happen up there (an old friend).

Much like my brother, I experience music and noise, radio static/a constant earworm, and I have a full sensory memory + think verbally in first person. My thoughts tumble over one another incessantly like a water wheel, and since my thought process is largely verbal, it's like listening to two sentences superimposed over one another. It's too disorganized to properly capture. I have ADHD also.

GENERALLY, more neurotypical individuals will just say that they can hear their own first-person voice in dialogue, and little else - so, ironically, having whole conversations in your own head with yourself is actually the most common mental trait I've noticed throughout the years I've asked people about this.

There's absolutely a range of internal thinking in which "normal" exists. Have you ever heard the question, "Do you think in pictures, words, or out loud?" Some people say one, some people say a mix. For a lot of people, that ACTUALLY describes a large chunk of their experience without any additional complexity. But if you dig deeper, certain patterns start to emerge otherwise. ADHD minds tend to be "loud," to the extent that it sometimes makes it hard to think even if it's dead silent. Like, genuinely, our internal lives are just characterized by noise. Some autistic friends I've spoken to about this have much more rigidly organized minds - think mind palaces with an emphasis on patterns and predictability. Anxiety? Getting hung up on the same thought over and over again, or, you know, constantly skimming that internal check list. Those conversations with yourself maybexist in those fringe settings, but most people have conversations with themselves. It's all the other stuff that marks an unusual internal world - the constant noise, or the doom loops, or the rigid order, so on and so forth.

But TL;DR, having conversations with yourself is actually as normal as it gets, at least anecdotally. That's just thinking verbally lol

Oh! I am all here for the mind exploration!

I definitely get pictures and very persistent earworms (I helped Skeleta get to #1, I am certain of it).

I am always purposefully vauge because I don't know how people will react. Also, I have not been actively pursuing a diagnosis yet, so I do not want to falsely claim. A lot of stuff just makes so much sense, though.

That is, however, due to a medical phobic family growing up.

I'm just interested in understanding what of me expresses to others my mental load? If that makes sense?

I never knew I needed The Witch King of Aangmar to hold my hand and protect me, but I realized I've been wrong before.

Honestly, this is what it feels like to be Loved: Feirce, Strong, Protective, Empowering, Supportive. This is what My Love feels like: Safety.

Details from La Lune’s Debut Runway Show

Excelsis destroyed me go listen to it immediately so Tobias Forge can shoot you 27 times in the chest

Also local idiot can’t pick an art style

I am too excited to see my best friend later this month.

Like, a sapphic level of excited. I love our relationship and look forward to our brains clicking together in our special AuDHD way.

I could heard the neighborhood groan this morning.

They saw me bring in the Cauldron I just bought at Target.

IT'S AUGUST 21ST, OF COURSE I'M READY TO GET SPOOKY.

Bravo also to Robert Eggers for probably the least bad depiction of Transylvania in Western vampire cinematic history:

1. Having actual Romanian actors doing the dialogue in Romanian. You'd think this is a low bar to clear but nope.

2. High quality costume design that looks pretty accurate to 19th century Romanian and Roma peasantry, even down to specific braided hairstyles from the Transylvanian region.

3. Depiction of Roma people but refrains from having them as some typical Hollywood exoticizing role like a magical fortune teller etc. They're in like half a scene, just chilling and playing music in front of an inn.

4. Use of the word "strigoi" which are actual spirits in Romanian folklore, unlike the term "vampire" which didn't exist in Romania.

5. Sorry to the Nosferatu moustache haters, but a Romanian nobleman would have had that exact facial hair.

6. Depiction of religion (nuns, churches) that actually looks like Eastern Orthodoxy and not some vaguely spooky goth Christianity.

༺♰ Gothic Church by Nona Limmen ♰༻

by gretlusky