😶 [@showerthoughtsofficial]

Everyone loves someone who has had an abortion!

https://www.google.com/amp/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4552110/amp/Kumail-Nanjiani-tells-crowd-sex-immigrant.html#ampshare=http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4552110/Kumail-Nanjiani-tells-crowd-sex-immigrant.html

Shagged a soldier, already? Get intimate with an immigrant!

If Mother Gothel had just told Rapunzel her birthday was on a different date none subsequent events in the movie would’ve taken place.

Watch "Can you make a good French Fry in the air fryer?😍😍 #shorts" on YouTube

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Can you make a good French Fry in the air fryer?😍😍 #shorts

Credit:Tiktok/prohomecooks#shorts #tiktokTags:tiktok , funny tiktok , new tiktok , tiktok music , tiktok music , tiktok compilation , tiktok

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

OH MY GOD I HAVE BEEN READING THIS FOR MONTHS NOW I GET IT

Writer’s Block

We are all equal in the voting booth - follow me on instagram for more

When you have your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland, does the guy inside the costume smile for the camera?

Trojan is possibly the worst branding for a condom company, at the climax of the story the soldiers who snuck in break out of the horse and invade the city.