I Am In The Middle Of An eventually Requited Love Sitch Rn With My First Love And Best Friend. Both

I am in the middle of an *eventually requited love* sitch rn with my first love and best friend. Both of us are married and I have a daughter. I am very much in love with my husband and happy beyond measure. We have our tough patches but what marriage doesn't?

First love and I have 20+ years of history and most of my stories are his stories, too. We've been through major shit but we had and have each other. There's 500 miles between us but we spent NYE "together" thanks to Facebook messenger and talked or sat together all day. He's mine and I love him.

But he's not mine and barring unforeseen troubles I would never leave my old man not even for him. Husband and I have been through bad times, too but he's mine and I love him. And he really IS mine.

Back to First Love; my heart actually aches for him at times and then I HAVE TO talk to him or I'm all out of sorts and my anxiety is thru the roof so I am working on that. Luckily he gets that and will walk me back in time and calm me down. I hate that he has so much power over me but I gave it to him so who am I to complain?

I obsessed over what him loving me means for way too long and talked myself into a negative thoughts downward spiral. Why does it matter what it means? There's just another person out there who loves you and wants the best for you.

We wouldn't work out and then when we broke up we'd lose each other and I can't go there. Maybe in our sixties..

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Some of it was simple, but just as helpful and nice to look at:

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You can check out her full post—and more pages from her zine—here.

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