Developing Your Ocs Is 50% Waiting For Bursts Of Divine Inspiration Like An Oracle Sleeping Next The

Nature

If I were to choose how I am

If I were on the outside how I am inside

I’d be something feral

I’d be something beautiful.

I’d be something unrecognisable

And I’d be something new.

I’d be sharp and I’d be deadly

I’d be a rose made only of thorns.

If I could be something natural

I would be something feral

I’d be something beautiful

I’d rip myself apart and build myself back up.

I’d be something painful 

I’d be something to be feared.

If I were a mirror of how I feel

I’d become something new

Something natural

Something feral

I’d be a river that nobody crosses.

I’d be dangerous and I’d be violent

I’d be myself and no one else.

Circles

I sit here

And in circles I go

Round and round this carousel

My mind and my heart at war

He loves me, he loves me not

I love me, I love me not

But the flower is just as confused.

I lay here

And in circles I go

Around and around and around

I can’t feel my soul and my heart is losing the fight

They love me, they love me not

I love me, I love me not

I’m out of flowers and I‘m just as lost.

I tumble down

And in circles I go

Round and round and round

I can’t breathe and my mind is screaming

He  loves me, he loves me not

I love me, I love me not

A roll of the dice away from something stupid

A spin away from losing my mind

I can’t put the shovel down

He loves me, he loves me not

I love me, I love me not

In circles and circles I go

Around and around this carousel ride.

YES?? Please and thank you?? Some completely normal attacking mutuals I appreciate the thought and would enjoy

Y’all ever just want to play wrestle someone and it not get sexual? Like, I just want to throw and be thrown, and then we lay there, winded and laughing, side by side, too tired to get up, just having a good and wholesome time. Doesn’t that sound fun? Why must everyone try to make it weird?

Embodiment of War, Shamura

Christianity and hate (Ice cold take guys)

YOU ARE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU PROMOTE HATE.

YOU'RE NOT.

I don't care what verse you cite. I don't care what justification you give. Christianity is about LOVING OTHERS. THIS IS WHAT PUSHES PEOPLE AWAY. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE LEAVE. If you look at someone and say they are lesser because of xyz, you're NOT CHRISTIAN.

People I know and that I see that have the audacity to go ahead and say you can't curse and then use the lord's name in vain because 'this is an abomination!' just make me SO MAD. YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU CLAIM JESUS PREACHES ANYTHING BUT ABSOLUTE LOVE. YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU GO TO CHURCH AND THEN TURN AROUND AND TELL SOMEONE THEY'RE GOING TO HELL. THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE.

[Coloured text- YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU CLAIM JESUS PREACHES ANYTHING BUT ABSOLUTE LOVE. YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU GO TO CHURCH AND THEN TURN AROUND AND TELL SOMEONE THEY'RE GOING TO HELL. THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE.]

Envy

They got it, 

So why can't I?

How come they automatically get it?

And I have to work so hard for mine.

They just did that one thing,

And all that opportunity came their way,

What about me?

I sit here struggling.

Fighting for pennies,

Fighting to be heard,

Fighting for peace,

And alI I seem to get is brick walls and resistance.

I don't want to be them,

I don't actually like them,

I don't actually want their lives.

But I want the same opportunities,

I want those doors to open for me,

I want that ease that I witness in them.

I hate my life.

I openly reject it.

Victimising myself to anyone who will listen,

Playing the blame game to deflect my ownership,

Proudly accepting sympathy for my shortcomings,

I have dug this ugly, defensive hole that I sit in. 

But the truth is,

That we are all blessed in our own way,

We all have experiences in good & bad,

We all  have moments of right and wrong,

We all have ways of not seeing the positives over the negatives.

What is one's person ease,

Is the other persons hardship,

What one person's hard work,

Is another person's cup of tea,

What is your walk in the park,

Is another person's walk through the trenches.

We all have our own struggles,

We all have our own point of pain,

This is just mine,

And I'm sure you have yours,

We are not any better than each other,

We are all just humans having our own human experience.

Envy is a bitch.

A cruel deadly sin that lurks within,

Eating away at our love for each other, 

Creating barriers of the haves and have nots, 

Identifying where we hold lack inside.

But envy can also be a catalyst for change.

Creating inspiration,

Evoking aspiration,

Driving up our determination,

Making us want it more.

What is their victory,

Is also my possibilities,

If they can do it,

So can I.

They got it with such ease,

Imagine what I'll receive if I actually try?

I put my all into it,

Bending backwards,

Beg, borrow & steal,

Determined to claim what is mine.

I achieve my goal, 

I receive my glory,

I stand tall in my victory,

The evidence of all my hard work.

But soon that day will come,

Where others will see my success,

Oblivious to my journey,

Unaware of my set-backs,

Unconscious of my struggles.

Where is mine, they will say?

When do I get my chance?

How come they got it so easily?

And the truth is that,

What goes around comes around, 

The endless cycle of the human condition.

We notice the similar tone,

We witness the familiar themes,

We recognise the signs of envy.

A poem called fear it's under the cut :)

Fear

Is there a reason 

You feel so empty? 

Is there a reason 

You feel so alone? 

Surrounded by people

All the time

Yet the monsters in your mind

Just won't rest

You're locked in a prison

Made in your mind

Put on a smile

Don't let them know

Cause you can take this pain

Another day. 

Focus on happy thoughts

You're convinced you'll end up fine

You're overreacting 

Just calm down

Cause nobody else

Says anything about this

So keep your mouth shut, 

You think, 

And smile at the world 

Can't focus on happy thoughts anymore

Can't pay attention

They're getting worried

Cause you can't breath quite right anymore

That smile of yours a bit askew

You're locked in a prison 

Made in your mind

You can't let them know

You can't take this pain

Another day. 

Take some medication, 

You're sure you'll be fine

Keep your mouth shut, 

You think, 

Cause you can't tell them how it feels

Nobody else

Tells you anything about this

You're drowning in an ocean of silence

So you keep smiling

Not sure you're doing it right but

It's convincing enough. 

Medication is failing

It hurts to even think

The monsters dug their claws in so deep

You're so sick of smiling 

Cause there are no happy thoughts anymore

You're chained up in your own mind

Gagged by your own fear

You up the dose

Anything to feel alive

You feel like you're insane

Nobody else

Feels this way

You're so alone

Wishing you could

Just smile again

You don't know if you'll be fine

Silence hurts

Words hurt more 

Anything

To end the pain

Thoughts fade to fuzzy haze

Your own heartbeat seems like a curse

They ask you if you're afraid of death

You can’t answer

You're not afraid of death

You're afraid of life

You're so scared

Of living another day

Anything to end the pain

It's all too much

Nothing is the same

You're jumping at every noise

You just want to feel free again! 

The monsters have you hostage 

In your own mind

There's nothing you can do! 

You don't feel fixable

You feel like a shattered mess that ruins everything and everyone

You feel like you're ruined beyond redemption, like even your soul can't be saved

You feel afraid of this life when they ask if you're really giving up

But they don't understand

The living hell you suffer though! 

They don't understand

How much you keep inside! 

Your mind is breaking under the stress

You're so scared of feeling this any more

One more day seems like another year

Every moment of every day is a nightmare of pain you can't escape

Your mind might as well be a weapon

You can't take it any longer! 

.... 

You're drowning. 

REBLOG if you have amazing, talented WRITER friends.

Because I certainly do, and I love every single one of them and their work.

my desire has become a bloodsport.

a game of such violence

and such devotion,

i'm not sure which one

makes me more sick to look at.

is the hunt the worst part,

or is it the satisfaction

that comes from the

the thrill of the chase?

the relief that comes from

sinking your teeth

into something bloody

at the end of the finish line?

i don't even know how to

identify the things that i want

unless they're covered in blood

and begging to be left alone.

-mars