There’s A Special Kind Of Grief You Feel Towards Yourself When You’ve Been Mentally Ill For As Long

man i hate myself

im gonna fucking kill myself. im so fucking serious

i don't see a happy life ahead of me. I wish for a peaceful one but I don't see that either. it probably should be concerning how suicidal I'm being everyday. why should I try when ik my path is only going to be full of despair? why can't I end it earlier, I wanna put a stop to this. too late to apologise, too late to ask for help, don't think too late to be saved but no one will. maybe that's my tragedy that everyone could use to feel bad after I'm long gone

not sure if there's anything as getting better in my book

the strong urge to go be a bitch

I feel frustrated by Megumi's scars... I love this concept, but... ugh...

I also think Megumi is having a really hard time with everything that happened to him, and I really wanted to draw that.

what is it about you that i love so much

idk how I'm gonna do any of this. im really not fit for this world. i hate how i have to go through life, try to find happiness or dream or peace or whatever that fucking keeps me alive.

how am I supposed to do any of that? why can't they just hand it down, why must even peace be given to someone only after going through hell? so we'd know what peace is?

to be unhappy to know what happiness is like?

and fuck me for still being here, fucking coward

sigh here goes nothing I guess. i am done, fully done

I'm scared i won't be me after this. I'm scared I'll lose myself. my sanity is hanging by a thread for real