Blog Introduction

Sirius waking Remus up with the sweetest birthday kiss to his forehead and Remus humming in acknowledgement and letting Sirius know he's awake so now Sirius is kissing all over his face telling him happy birthday and that he loves him between each kiss and Remus scrunching his face up and giggling.

You reblog so many defensive posts when you like all the mainstream characterizations and ships in the fandom lol nobody's attacking you just because they talk about not liking something or they critique how the fandom represents a feminine man or how American-centered Americans are even in their writing and headcanons.

i’ll soon be posting my ultra american fic where remus lives in new york and grew up in wisconsin and reblogging extra feminine sirius posts just for u xxx

remus lupin with his large brown eyes and long, light brown eyelashes that rest on his freckled cheeks as he naps with his head on sirius' chest who has his arm around remus' waist to hold him to close to him SEND TWEET

“these characters should be mentally healthy before they get together 😌” ummm no I actually think we should smash their mental illnesses together like clumps of play-doh and see what colors it makes

hiii can i request remus in a skirt for the good enough exercise? the fandom ALWAYS needs more remus in a skirt!!

yeeesss yes agreed!! thank you for the prompt 🤎

hello hello ask game!!! i’m greedily asking for three of them i’m sorry ahdjfndjd

3, 4, & 11 if i may :3

okay hello i am finally answering this! sorry it’s taken me so long, i posted the ask game and then my life immediately fell apart lmao. this ended up being really long so answers below the cut :)

if you’d like to submit an ask i’d still love to answer more! ask list here.

3. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Rather predictably, it’s this one: “‘Your gender is about you, not what other people think.’” It’s just…something that I struggle with myself, and that I’ve seen a lot of other trans people talk about struggling with too. Transition is complicated but I think doing it for yourself is so important.

4. What’s your favorite line of narration?

This isn’t a single line (how do people pick out single lines??? Impossible) but! This one: “It’s that Sirius accepts, and loves, the parts of him that make him trans. It’s that he helps remind Remus that […] it’s a part of his identity, one that he’s allowed to be proud of. Sirius loved Remus as a girlfriend and loves him equally as a boyfriend; and he loves Remus now not just as his boyfriend, but as his trans boyfriend.” This sort of gets at the same concept as the one above—I have so many thoughts and feelings about concepts of transition and passing and stealth and they’re all such complicated, nuanced topics that are different for everyone, but something that’s a big deal for me is trans pride and nonconformity. I don’t want to assimilate into cis ideals; I don’t want to pass as cis. Part of this is probably since I’m nonbinary so there aren’t really cis ideals for me, but I know binary trans people who feel similarly.

11. What do you like best about this fic?

The truth is the trans rep. You know this since I talked to you about it but I was really, really nervous about the trans rep in this fic. It feels the most truthful to my own experience, but it doesn’t fit with the popular cookie cutter narrative, the narrative that’s most easily digestible and understandable to cis people. And of course there’s nothing wrong with that experience but it’s not the only one. And it’s been so lovely to get comments from other trans/non-cis people saying that they relate to the rep in this fic too.

Aside from that, because I feel like I’ve talked an awful lot about the trans rep in this post, it’s just the way they love each other. It’s so soft and gentle and it was lovely to write and fun to revisit to pick out my favorite lines.

Re-posting fics: How not to be an asshole

I know, kind of salty for a heading, sorry, but we got some stuff to talk about. (Also, sorry I haven't been around as much but my life has been WONDERFULLY full, so thank you to everyone who's checked in. ❤️)

I've gotten a few asks in my inbox and I don't want to embarrass anyone and I also don't want to inadvertently give any future scoundrels and any tips.

"I love this fic but the author took it down, so I'm going to repost it on AO3, and just mention that I'm not the author"

NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! *sprays you with water*

You have a copy of the fic. Kudos. But if they author wanted it on AO3 then IT WOULD BE ON AO3. Taking a fic not on A03 and putting it on A03 is a massive "fuck you!" to the author. The ultimate sign of disrespect to someone who put HOURS AND HOURS of work into their. FOR FREE. The LEAST we can do as fans is GIVE RESPECT.

Authors are not corporations. Authors are not sponsored. Authors are not "content creators". They are HOBBYISTS who are sharing their HOBBY with you.

Enjoy the fact that you have the fic.

If the author wanted it shared in ANY WAY they would put it back on A03.

Also I hate that I have to say this, but this same logic goes for Wattpad, Goodreads, Fanfiction.net, PDFs on reddit, and every site ever. Please stop.

"But no one is getting hurt"

Many authors took down work because they don't want their art mined by AI and you're putting it back up for AI.

Many authors took down their work as a rebellion against JKR and you're spitting in their face while they're trying to protest something.

Many authors took down their work because they're trying to pitch it as a book and they can't because agents and publishers search for the phrases and go "Well this exact story is already up for free and it's got gross, X-rated material I didn't see in my draft, so I'm definitely not giving them a book deal now". Congrats, now you'll never get a published and bound copy of your favorite fic.

Many authors took down their work because they are no longer proud of their work and they've grown as an artist and having the work up brings them daily shame, but you put it back up anyway.

Many authors took down their work for reasons that WE WILL NEVER KNOW and it's still our place to respect that.

Look, I support piracy. Corporations don't let us own anything anymore, so pirating isn't even stealing. But fanfic authors are not corporations. And you can't own a fic that isn't yours.

These authors have NOTHING but control over their work and you are stealing that. You are ruining their art, after they made it for you, for free.

If you love something, respect it.

I know you think you're helping fans by reposting a fic but I can't tel you how many authors I know that no longer post their fics BECAUSE THEY KNOW PEOPLE WILL STEAL THEM.

Reposting fanfics is killing fandom.

What do you do as a fan when you see reposted fanfics?

If you can, find and tell the author so they can take legal action.

Bully the author. Respond to every single comment on A03 and tell them exactly why the fic shouldn't be online, and why they shouldn't be supporting the non-author who published the fic without the author's consent

Go to the re-poster's social media and spread the word there. IDC anymore.

Talk about it with your friends and in servers. Every time you see someone asking for "PDFs of a fic" on tiktok go ape shit in the comments and get all your friends to help.

Okay, rant done. And remember, if you feel powerless, you will always have the power fanfic authors. You're part of this community. Your value and actions matter.

Disability in fiction

This was a tough post to write. 

I saw a post about disability rep, and I kept thinking about it, and wanted to share my own takes on the topic. 

I thought about it for days, trying to figure out how to word it. Then after drafting it, I stuck it in a file for a couple of weeks, trying to decide if I could even post it. This is not a topic that can be boiled down to a simple yes/no kind of answer.

Let’s start with two examples.

1 - I have a short story I started writing (it wants to grow up to be longer, so it’s waiting for time) where my original concept was to write about an older woman who is short and has major chronic pain, and I wanted to dig into fantasy reasons why this pain exists, but at the same time, have her be able to kick ass despite being exhausted and dealing with excruciatingly painful issues.

2 - I once drafted a portal fantasy storyline wherein a young man was transported into a fantasy world, and when he was given a horse to ride, he approached it very warily. He was encouraged to mount, did so, and sat there and exclaimed in shock, “My brain isn’t exploding with snot!” because his allergies hadn’t come with him into the body he had in the fantasy world.

Both stories were designed to be fun, a bit light, maybe even cozy.

So.

In one case, the disabled character remains disabled and kicks ass anyway. And in the other case, the character is magically “healed” and no longer has debilitating allergies that had wrecked his way of life.

This is the difficult part to express: I think both storylines are valid.

Bear with me while I dig into this.

First and foremost: I completely agree that we need more representation in all forms of fiction, especially when it comes to disabled people being able to live their lives. Characters with missing limbs, or non-neurotypical brains, or anxiety & depression, or hearing issues, or sight problems, or chronic pain, or… or… you get the idea. We need all of it, and we need it to not need to be magically healed in order for a story to be considered happy and cozy. Disabled people can be happy, too.

I’m all in for this, and I wouldn’t write the stories I do if I weren’t.

However, there are also moments where I am so exhausted by my body and by everything I deal with inside of it where I do wish for that magical ability to forget that my pain exists. Or for the ability to actually process information in a straight line, or make decisions without writing a hundred lists and accomplishing nothing from them. Or to be able to lie down in a field of grass without regretting it for days while I drip snot and fight sinus-pain-induced migraines.

Sometimes I want to imagine that my life is different.

And that is one of the joys of writing. I can choose to write a story where people like me or the people I know are the heroes/heroines exactly as they are, different abilities and all. Or I can choose to write a story where the problems magically resolve.

Both can be cozy, sweet, and adorable. I can give the character with chronic pain the ability to kick ass, take names, and have a sweet reunion with her ex-girlfriend. I can show all the ways that my disabilities may define how I handle my life differently than someone else, but do not define what I can and cannot do.

But I can also daydream about a life where it’s different, the same way I can daydream about having wings, or being able to teleport. For me, imagining a day with no pain is the same as a day where I can walk through walls. It is absolutely a fantasy, and about as likely to happen.

Here’s the thing: It’s okay to be angry to see what looks like disability being erased. It’s okay to wonder why the author did that, why they magically healed someone instead of letting them be who they were. But at the same time, maybe ask why, and what point of view it’s coming from. Or look a little deeper into the story and how the resolution occurs, and the effect it does have on the character (I suspect that were I to suddenly have a day of no pain, I’d be intensely reckless, given what an idiot I am while IN pain, y’know? And WOW would I regret that later…).

And for authors, think about what you’re writing. WHY is this particular event (keeping disability, erasing it, whichever or both) happening, because the reader will take note of it. They may see things that weren’t intended, but are there as unintentional biases.

Make conscious decisions for why things happen.

Someday I want to get back to both of those examples from the start of this post; I still like both concepts. But I’ll be writing them for very different reasons, and both will be healing my soul in different ways. Different kinds of daydreams. And again, I think that’s valid, too.

the whomping willow is so real for beating people up just to keep remus lupin safe

hiii ✈️ & 🎧 pls!

hello! :)

✈️ favorite place you’ve traveled

i honestly haven’t travelled to a ton of places i don’t think? idk not that many compared to some people at least. but i really really enjoyed Hawaii! i feel sort of guilty about having gone there now that i know about the huge issues tourism is causing for native residents but i didn’t know at the time, and i wouldn’t have been able to stop my family anyways. ok im rambling a bit now lmao but i can’t think of another place i loved even close to that much, even with the weird guilt mixed in

🎧 last song you listened to

this oneee