If You’re American And Coming To Australia, I’m Gonna Go Ahead And Say That You Should Be 100 Percent

I laminated a paper towel

Mr IRL.

instagram | fleurflowerfarm

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

Steve & Yusuf

I would like to propose a buddy comedy action flick with Steve Nedoroscik and Yusuf Dikec go on a road trip to retrieve Yusuf’s dog. There are high octane chase scenes, vaulting over obstacles, shootouts, and somehow friendship. Yusuf drives, Steve sleeps. Cameos from Anthony Ammirati and more. I just want to see more of them after the Olympics.

Humans are unstoppable...Until they aren’t.

I’m not the most eloquent writer, but I’ve had this idea kicking around for a while and figured I’d put it out into the universe.

A lot of the basis for the “humans are space orcs” stuff is the idea that we’re pretty durable compared to many species, yeah? When it comes to physical trauma, we can bounce back from most things that don’t kill us outright, especially given the benefit of hypothetical space-age technology, and adrenaline is one heck of a drug when it comes to functioning under stress. 

But that doesn’t make us unkillable, and even though we can survive debilitating injuries and not die from shock, it doesn’t mean it’s fun. Dying of shock sucks, but at least it’s probably quick.

So - Imagine a ship, adrift in space, slowly being drawn into a star or something. In order to save the ship, someone has to repair the hyper-quantum-relay-majig on the hull or in the engine or whatever. Bit of a problem though- there’s a ton of deadly, deadly radiation (Wrath of Khan style) or poisonous fumes or, I dunno, electrical current, between the crew and the repair. Like, enough to kill most species instantly, so the crew is just like, ‘welp, guess we’ll die then’. But then.

BUT THEN

They ask the human. Because everyone’s heard the stories - you’re basically unkillable, right? Could you survive long enough in there to fix it? And their human goes real quiet for a second, but still says ‘Yeah, I could fix it’. And the rest of the crew is like, ‘Whaaaaaa, it won’t kill you?’ and the human repeats “I can fix it” (which isn’t an answer, but no one catches that, not yet at least), so they send ‘em in. And the human fixes it, they come back, the ship flies to safety, and the crew is thrilled to survive. If the human is a little quiet, well, they’re entitled after pulling off a miracle. Everyone else is just excited to get to the nearest station’s bar to tell their very own human story, cuz, ‘those crazy humans, amiright?’.

The good mood keeps up until the human is late for their next shift. At first it’s just faint unease, but- but they earned a bit of a lie-in, right? No reason to begrudge them some extra rest, even if it is a little weird for them to oversleep. They’ll be fine. Humans are always fine. 

(Right?)

(…Wrong.)

- What is… help. Help!-

- ake up! You have t-

- been days. You need sleep, you-

- nother transfusion. We could-

- out of sedatives!-

A week later, the crew finally reaches the station. They stumble into the bar, haggard and haunted. And over the next months and years a new rumor about humans starts to make its way through space. A rumor unlike any before.

‘Be careful with your humans’ it whispers. ‘Their strength is not always a blessing. Be sure they don’t do something they can’t come back from, because when a human dies… they die slowly.’

ノル様

Dear the Anon, not AllianKitty your amazing, but dear Anon, please let me put camels in your bookshelves. I would love to give you at least three coats of nail polish on your roof. If you would like, I would also give you for free a sun-bleach for any leather you own. In simpler terms, considering the ship of theseus, are you truly Belaphoron without the gonads of giant squids? I understand philosophey can be hard, but remember that King Henry the Eight had a tea party on a golden field. If are truly concerned for the planet Mars, please find help at Toys R’s Us. If that is unavailable, remember that theres an apple waiting for you. May the sun be blue and your nights be christmas, good afternoon, Anon. 

Warning:

The following post may not be advisable for everyone...There's Anon asshole ಠ⁠◡⁠ಠ

Froppy Hyrule wants says smt to you (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）

(⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

Blanchett on black and white 🤍🖤

Captain America & Superman

You know how when Marvel is compared to DC people say that Captain America and Superman are synonymous? Or Iron Man and Batman are? I would like to propose that we switch those. I don't think Captain America and Superman are good comparisons.

Argument number 1 : Captain America is a team player, Superman is not. One of Superman character flaws, something he has to overcome, is that he thinks he can or should protect the world alone. He can lift it alone, and so he should. He struggles with control because when things are outside of his control he feels responsible when they go wrong. He feels he should be able to protect everything, because he has the power, but as only one man he often fails in the scope of it. He may be able to solve every problem, but he can't see every problem. One of the first thing any adaption of the Justice League origin story has to overcome is Superman trying to fight the bad guy alone. Captain America is the literal opposite of that. He is the most team player team player, and when he can take a mission with a team he does. He doesn't shy away or panic at not being able to control every problem or fix every problem, he acts calmly under pressure. He works on teams.

Argument number 2 : Superman is the team leader, Captain America is not. Superman, at least later on in stories (And I don't mean like later editions, but just later on in the stories, like after justice league formations), is genuinely the leader of the Justice League. He calls people together, he addresses issues. Batman is nominally the leader as well, as in he calls attention to problems and offers solutions, but it's Superman who often makes the final calls. Captain American can not be said to often make the final call. He can call orders in combat, and maybe lead missions, but it's either Shield or his fellow Avengers who call missions. In fact, most of the Avengers can be the leader at different times, depending on the situation. Captain American and Iron Man are the leaders of the Avengers in equal measure.

Argument number 3 : Superman's No-kill rule, and Captain America's willingness to kill. I think this relates to Superman's feelings that only Superman can keep Superman in check. And he's not wrong, which means if Superman doesn't have hard morals, then he doesn't get to be Superman. Captain America doesn't have those issues. Captain America was taught combat in war, and made his morals there too. He has mercy, don't forget that, but he also doesn't see killing as the be all end all of morality.

Counter Argument number 1 : Both Superman and Captain America deal with the narrative question of "Are they necessary?" And the conclusion is that they aren't. Superman can retire, so can Captain America. They aren't necessary for the world to go on. But they have inspired people who often carry on their legacy. Superman has inspired plenty of the Justice League to be better heroes, and plenty of Super-boys who came after. Captain America also inspired heroes, and plenty of people who try to take up the mantel after he's gone. And their success depend on how much they understand themselves and what they stand for, and overcome who Superman and Captain America were.

Counter Argument number 2 : Clark Kent and Steve Rogers are very similar. Both are small town guys who view themselves as Clark Kent and Steve Rogers first, and Superman and Captain America second. I think their civilian identities are good comparisons.

Secondary Arguments 1 : I think Iron Man and Superman have more similar narratives. Both have these sense that their skills and powers are dangerous and they need to be their own moral compass. Both are scared of their own powers in a way. Stark is scared of his tech being misused and also running from his weapons dealer past. I've already explained Superman's fear. I know that Iron Man isn't exactly no-kill but he's one of the guys who I could see having that rule.

Secondary Arguments 2 : I think Batman and Captain America have similar fighting styles and approaches to missions. I don't think they'd agree or have similar narratives but I think they'd fight side by side well.

Closing thoughts : I love all four of these characters and I think all have incredibly intricate and interesting narratives, and so I think comparing them also leads to interesting discussions. Ultimately I think that their worlds are different to find exact comparisons, but it's still a fun draw to make. What are your thoughts?