I Could Be Your Loser Boyfriend. Do You Ever Think About That

Best lesson from a Disney movie

crumbch

me, wearing nothing but a sheer plunge-neck ballgown that’s plastered to my skin from the rain, soaking wet and trembling with cold and fatigue as i stand outside the entrance to the castle: p-please help me ;) i’m s-so lost and s-scared ;) ;) i have no where to stay for the night ;) ;) ;)

the sexy vampire lady who answered the door, and to whom the castle belongs: of course ;) you poor thing ;) ;) come inside, you must be freezing… you may stay as long as you need to recover from your ordeal ;) ;) ;)

me skipping every song on my playlist: play some good music!!!

spotify *sobbing*: bitch you only like five songs!!!

honestly that baby tattoo story is already so surreal and implausible i dont have the heart to tell anyone that it also has a party hat and he refers to it as party baby and i still dont know whos baby it is 

odin????????? 

Women in suits. That's it.