I Am A Kunikida Had An Emo Phase Truther And So Just Image Katai Getting Bribed By Dazai To Give Him

"My ideals will live on" Bitch, how about you live on instead, how about that?!

y!adazai who had a wet dream ‘bout you and he can’t help himself, in his defense he tried to get himself off without using anything that belongs to you or just you in particular, he says he feels guilty. ( he’s a liar ) but he can’t cum, he just can’t cum without either staring at a picture of you or wanking himself off with ur stuff !!! so he pays a friendly visit to your dorm and of course he had to refrain himself from fucking you awake because he has a reputation to hold and he makes himself seem as a ‘nice guy’ towards you. but he swears he did. that was until he catches a glimpse of the folds peeking through your panties and he lost it, he really wishes it didn’t have to be this way. so when you were fast asked this man could not help himself and slid your pantie to the side and indulge himself in your taste, but he made sure you were fast asleep. of course you were, which he’s so thankful of and he’s humping on the bed to get himself off.

and of course he doesn’t forget to take a picture of your cunt , he’s going to use that for later purposes. what a gross freak.

🎬 anon

Yes omg he's so gross.... he spends so much time thinking about you and jerking off into your stuff that he slowly loses the ability to cum on his own. So if he doesn't have anything that smells enough like you to tip him over he has to break into your room, looking at you while he fists his achey cock or getting into bed with you, smelling your hair and humping your ass. Of course, sometimes Dazai feels generous! He can't be the only one enjoying himself after all, it's only fair that he repays you. He's very careful when getting your clothes off and positioning you, sighing when he spreads your thighs and sees your pretty pussy on display for him. Even worse if you're already wet, even if it's just a little bit it'll make him lose his mind. He loses himself in your taste and smell, rubbing his cheek against your thigh and sucking on your clit to feel it twitch in his mouth, licking up your mess and letting it drip down his chin while he humps your mattress like a dog. He probably won't realise he's creamed his pants, too lost in your sweet cunt, still rutting his hips and making a mess of his underwear. He won't stop until you've cum, gently licking you clean and moaning at your taste, patting your inner thighs dry with a fresh pair of your underwear that he pockets before disappearing back into the night.

🇨​​ 🇴 ​​🇳 ​​🇫​​ 🇪 ​​🇸​​ 🇸 ​​🇮 ​​🇴 ​​🇳​ ！

BSD MEN REACTING TO A CONFESSION.

↷ A/N ─ yes new divider again because im indecisive as heck

★ FT. ─ dazai , chuuya , ranpo , akutagawa , atsushi , fyodor

!! TAGS ─ mentions of suicide, insecurities, overall fluff

"i love you."

ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ.

promptly replies with, "i love you too."

he'll lean into you with an amused smile because he lowkey thinks you're joking

when he realizes you're serious about it he'll immediately stop the stupid grin

and look at you with this sincere look you've never seen on his face before

he'll hold your hand and everything while repeating "i love you too," for a second time, only this time he's serious about it too

definitely asks for double suicide later

"You know it's my motto to unalive myself with a beautiful woman. How lucky of you to have been bestowed upon this honour."

"Mhm."

"I'll say yes if you join me in a double suicide," he asks with puppy eyes.

"Dazai, you already said yes."

"I'll say it again!"

​ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ.

he stops abruptly and half chokes on his expensive ass wine

poor boy is really confused 😭 because "where did that come from??"

he tries to play it cool but he's literally SCREAMING inside

we all know he's been betrayed a lot of times in the past so he feels hesitant about it

will decide to give it a shot tho

100% calls dazai to brag about it

"You may be taller or whatever (as if that matters in the first place) but were you the one able to steal her heart? Eh? I think not!"

You chuckle hearing him update his rival of his new relationship status.

"And anyway," he raises a glass of wine for toast. "I'd like to thank my good looks, good looks and did I mention my good looks (?) for making tonight the happiest night ever."

ʀᴀɴᴘᴏ.

"i know."

he has always observed every single thing about you - how you behave around others vs how you behave around him, the little times you look at him like you want his attention etc etc

he's known about this since like soooo long

he defo also knew when where and how you were gonna confess

went to yosano for tips to react to it and bought you chocolates and stuff. he thinks it'll make you happy :D

eats all of that himself even tho he originally bought it for you but you let it slide because he's a cutie patootie

"You could at least have been a bit subtle about it," he says, munching on his chips. "I mean, anyone who saw you would've been able to guess. I didn't even need my ability for this!"

He lifts his chin up thoughtfully, fingers ripping open another packet of snacks. "You should be grateful I'm not a snitch. Eh, well," he shrugs, "You're now dating the greatest detective in the world! Congratulations!"

ᴀᴋᴜᴛᴀɢᴀᴡᴀ.

"eh???"

like chuuya, he's pretty confused too

"are you sure?"

tries to keep a straight face and hide his fluster

he'll narrow his eyes at you as if he's trying to read your emotions. he doesn't wanna get hurt if he gets too attached to you and you two end up breaking up

also how tf is he supposed to believe that someone like YOU like someone like HIM?

reassure him that he's perfect please :( poor baby deserves the world

"I am a lot of work. I don't think you can keep up with all of that," he says shortly.

"I'll try my best."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to!"

He stares at you for a few moments, looking like he's about to cry.

"Oh, alright then," he waves a hand around. "But don't you ever leave me."

ᴀᴛꜱᴜꜱʜɪ.

screams

"SAY IT AGAIN PLEASE!"

jumps around everywhere in happiness

you dont even get a verbal answer the man's just dancing around

either that or he just faints

he's, like akutagawa, insecure about himself. but he's much more open to showing his emotions to you.

you end up cuddling the whole night or he calls off work to be with you for the rest of the day <3

"I..." he repeats the same word for the fifth time in a row.

"Yes?"

"Don't mind me, I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that I get to date you."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, no!" he panics, wringing both hands all over himself hastily. "I love you! Really!"

ꜰʏᴏᴅᴏʀ.

no reaction. im sorry

spares a small glance at you but otherwise doesn't get distracted from his work

you think he's gone deaf from the way he just ignored you cuz what????

will spend like 15 minutes that way before extending an arm to you and you lowkey DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO??? HELP??

he'll stare at you for a few seconds before pulling you onto his lap and continuing with his work

and that's his way of saying yes

He shuts the computers around him down and taps your outer thigh twice. You immediately stand up and help him up. He stares at you for a few seconds, contemplating something.

"You know, I never thought I'd enable others to call me a lovesick fool."

"Does that mean you are a lovesick fool?"

"A little, maybe," he turns around and walks out of the door while you follow him with a soft smile on your face.

"I'm glad you understand me, though."

15! Dazai x fem! doctor! reader

a/n: sorry I haven't been posting! school starts on tuesday and i am not prepared to deal w these shitheads 🤧 (update, its friday and they are no new fine boys 😔😔)

to all my dazai fans 🫶🫶 also im working on a 15! chuuya x reader oneshot atm too!

also @sosograndii who wanted a dazai fic 😭 also lmk if any of you want a platonic! fem! reader x pm! dazai where its like "when I say I like all women you might actually be the exception" bc that would be hella funny

content: being teenagers, oneshot, swearing, mentions of suicide, injuries, dazai being dazai, reader is lowkey suicidal too, Mori is kinda creepy beware 😨

"Mori?"

"Yes, Dazai?"

The brunette adjusted his white cast, scribbling doodles on the supposed paperwork he was supposed to do. He currently sat across from the Port Mafia boss, Mori Ougai, who was folding Elise's clothes attentively in his leather seat. Dazai shifted and set down the chipped pencil he usually chewed on, facing him properly.

"Do you think there is anyone else in the mafia who rivals my skills?" The Demon Prodigy asks, it may seem like an arrogant or overconfident question, but the boy has been used to being a genius at such a young age; it was rather a question out of genuine curiousity.

"Besides me?" Mori 'charms' with a smile, not so charmingly earning a scowl from Dazai in return. "Yes, besides you." He grumbles begrudgingly, slumping in his seat thinking what to draw next. "No, not at all." The mafia boss states with full confidence, "You are my pupil, afterall." Dazai groans again, dropping the pencil yet again before yawning. "Not every intelligent person is of your work, Mori." He retorts with a bored face, causing the grown man to exhale loudly. "Fine. I suppose there is one person who may be up to your level."

Dazai's ears perked up, turning to Mori interested. "Who?" The man in the white lab coat adjusted his purple tie, fluttering his eyes shut mindlessly. "A girl your age, she wants to be a doctor just like her Boss." He smiles genuinely, causing Dazai to sigh in irritation.

"Yuck."

Yuck.

Is what you thought as you stare at the lanky boy who rested on your procedure chair. He was battered and bruised, previous bandages and a large cast wrapped around his left arm stained with sweat and blood; you put on a pair of gloves before grabbing a few tools to clean him up. He was a boy about your age, or so you thought, he was tall and lanky, a black suit with an oversized black overcoat messily draped upon his shoulders. He had messy brown hair thst framed his face, one eye wrapped around bandages along his face; shame, his eyes were a pretty sight.

"Where is your boss?" The brunette asks, watching you attentively as you grab his hand and begin to wipe his beaten knuckles, pushing the bandages wrapped around his hands up. "Out. I'm supposed to take over Mori's job while he's gone." You inform, scooting your chair closer in order to clean all the gashes on his hand. "Oh. So you're that girl?" You cock a brow, turning to look at him.

"That girl?"

"Mori's pupil."

You finish wiping one of his knuckles and dispose of the cloth, motioning the boy to remove his arm bandages before the cut bleeds again. "Oh. I guess." You quip, causing him to tilt his head in interest. "What's your name?" The brunette asks, complying and removing his stained arm bandage, placing it gently on the chair; you picked it up and disposed it yet again, grabbing disinfectant wipes as you wipe his knuckles once more. "[Y/N] [L/N], you?"

"Dazai Osamu, I'm fifteen." You nod politely, wrapping a new set of bandages around his hand. "Cool, me too." Dazai's eyes light up a bit at your responses, "I know." he nods, extending his other hand to repeat the same process.

"So," you pause, carefully applying the new bandages on his other hand, they were quite cold to the touch. "what happened to you?" Dazai sighs, tapping a nimble finger on the hospital chair. "I was trying to kill myself," Your eyes widen a bit at the honesty, giving a casual nod as if it were an everyday occurrence. "However, I didn't know that there were a few men who held grudges against me at the end of the river, so I had to take care of that." He answers, you gave a listening hum at his story.

"That's interesting." You reply, causing him to raise his brows a bit; looking at you as you get up and lift his messy bangs, urging him to take off his facial bandages. "Yep, I'm assuming you get a lot of cases like me?" You wipe his bleeding forehead, causing him to pinch a brown eye shut, "Not exactly; but I mean, I understand you."

Dazai tilted his head in confusion, crimson blood collecting on the abrasion on his forehead; he seemed rather amused yet surprised. "You do?" the boy asks, you nod your head in response, finishing cleaning the wound. "Elaborate, please." he requests, his brown eyes almost sparkled into yours. As if you two weren't terrifying mafia members, as if the world just for a second; stopped to understand a few dumb teenagers in weird situations.

"Who wants to live in this world anyway?" You ask rhetorically, chuckling a bit as you grab a few bandages and carefully guide them around the side of his face. The brunette for a second, was caught off guard; no one underestimated the Demon Prodigy, the greatest mistake for Dazai's enemies is that, they're Dazai's enemies, no? But, this time it was different, just one sentence and accomodating gesture, and he felt a knot tighten in his stomach. Weridly enough, Dazai hummed in satisfaction and fluttered his eyes shut.

"I see." He replies, you finished wrapping the bandage around his head and take off your gloves, feeling satisfied with the mutual agreement. "[Y/N], right?" the brunette asks casually, causing you to nod your head in agreement. "Yeah."

"Would you like to elope out of the mafia with m-"

Dazai Osamu, that fucking womanizer.

Hedwig:

my first thought was "drunk hedwig" would do this but ... i don't think she needs to be drunk to do this

asagiri hasnt given us kunikida’s backstory because 16!kunikida would be the biggest rebel with piercings and an undercut and leather jackets and the world’s not ready to handle that yet

A cute little toy

amazing dialogue

STOPPPPPPP IM SCREECHING AIFHASIUFHSUDIFHSUD ATSUSHI'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND AND KUNIKIDA JUST BEING LIKE "WHAT THE FUCK" USHDFASIUFHDU THEIR FIRST UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL, DIRECT ENCOUNTER WITH THE REMNANTS OF PM!DAZAI AND THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT

Twink death of the century

When They Leave On A Long Mission

Characters: Chuuya, Beast!Dazai

Warnings/Spoilers: Minor Beast novel spoilers(?)

- Chuuya often leaves on missions lasting anything from 2 weeks to 6 months

- In this time, Chuuya will always deliver letters, Messages, and even ship bottles of his cologne to your shared house

- He also left his coat although it lost his scent after the first 2 weeks which hes aware of hence the cologne (though its not the same without him)

- After the month mark its quite obvious that Chuuya starts to miss you

- Longer calling times, more face times, more letters sent to you, more gifts being delivered

- Anything because he misses you so much

- Asks for photos of you ever day just to see you

- By three months Chuuya becomes a little more sad, almost as if he’s accepted you won’t be there in a while

- His mood is more dull when your not there, he’s ruder to his subordinates and itching to kill the targets

- When hes finally back in your arms all he wants to do is cuddle, embracing your scent, and relaxing

- Chuuya also enjoys a nice bath together with a glass of wine

- Beast!Dazai might have to leave often due to a mission overseas that he must attend to

- Or even a meeting overseas

- Usually, he’ll take you with him to stay in the hotel

- At most he’ll leave you for a week

- During that week you have 2 people assisting you to get you things, food, whatever you want

- You have access to his card so you can order anything to the hotel room on another floor (which is one of your assistants, who will then bring it up to your room for saftey reasons)

- Calls you ever night to ensure your safe, also just to hear you before you head to sleep

- These calls usually last forever, he’ll be getting ready to kill people while you’re talking about your day and about to sleep

- Only hangs up once you’ve fallen asleep, occasionally if he isn’t working that night he will keep calling until morning, then you’re awake for him too

- Dazai would never tell anyone but he misses you - and is worried for your safety too

- But when you finally reunite he’s glad your okay, oh and his arms aren’t leaving you for a while

- After such a “long” trip he needs his recharge cuddles