'She ruins everything she comes across.'
Been brainstorming prequel events in my story involving Fatal's mama, her real name is Briar, and she lived with Elishiva (the white wolf) under the care of Harlan who was actively abusing and grooming them both. He gives Briar, "Ruin" as a nickname which inevitably spawns the dehumanization naming system for Daevas later down the line. TDLR; the lore is essentially during a period climate change is really bad, Harlan was one of the scientists tryna come with solutions to help humans adapt, which was to create the Daevas (spoiler; other people thought his idea was really nonsensical so this man kidnaps two children to do it illegally.)
Admittedly I can recognize the lore is kinda goofy compared to the kind of story I'm trying to tell? I made a chart in obsidian to kind of like, try and explain how daevas work? Or at least the generational developments kind of thing.
Elishiva was first to be spliced and experimented on and Briar came from a family of shamanic healers (still figuring this out too); he exploits her healing abilities just so Elishiva's body endures the abuse and experimentation. Harlan himself is less of a character-character and moreso legitimately just based off "the worst of humanity." If you need a clear idea.
The lore isn't too much of a focus in this story because it is entirely character driven and focused. But animal shapeshifters in this story were created under scientific means, with bits of fantasy sprinkled in it, and are moreso used for symbolism things and a representation of the abuse cycle etc.
Like Asher, Ruin was also another character originally created by the story's co-owner before they abandoned me and everything we shared; I had really wanted to stay true to her original design; but it's unfortunately more dog-like than coyote as I've come to realize.
(E.g; coyotes usually have lighter mask like markings and darker tail tips for example) So the best I could do was reuse the colors from her og design while making it accurate to a coyote's appearance and markings.
✨️ Oh, but maybe I was ready all along ✨️
flat version:
+ the original art of her done by the ex-co-owner
scribbles + a style experimentation
A specific design note about Fatal too is their coyote form's design is based off younger coyotes, it's why their ears are big and they look quite baby-faced, even as an adult.
Why is it necessary that a piece of art "condemns" or "normalizes" something. Is it not enough for art to say "here are some fucked up people in some fucked up situations for your enjoyment"? The art doesn't have to judge them and neither do you. It's for your enjoyment.
This was a test panel done ages back based off some sketches of the rewrite's first draft's pages before I decided that nah, I can do better than that (this was a big lesson for me in why doing drafts and revisioning is important cause it forces you to think, and when you have the option to actually see your ideas physically written down, it helps MAJORLY, and it's fun tbh)
and combined with actually rereading ADP and TDH (and being inspired by some TigerClan based fanfics) it had me reconsider a lot of ideas and the direction I wanted to go for the rewrite.
Thin and super ...perfect? lineart isn't really for me? I feel it makes my art stiff and wonky in some areas, though I used the tunip pen rather than my usual brush pen. Hm, I aim to play with different lineweight too.
For those curious about my “Swifthawk’s Chance: Blood and Bone” aka SC2 rewrite. Here’s some concept art. I don’t want to spoil too much since the rewrite has a completely different take on the plot and stakes in ways I personally feel don’t make the cast extremely OOC. I am open to asks etc about the rewrite, and even encourage them, because I’m sure I’m not the only one who was disappointed and frustrated about where the story went.
But one change is Tigerstar takes Swifthawk as prisoner after he had snuck away from ThunderClan to look for Tawnypaw, rather than welcoming him with open arms. Swifthawk is also a prisoner along with Featherpaw and Mistyfoot, who weren’t able to escape with Stormpaw when Fire and Co rescued them like in canon and Tigerstar causes a strain between Swift and Tawny due to pitting them against each other.
Explaining this change under the cut - I advise you do read:
SC2 has A LOT of narrative issues due to things like sanitizing and appeasing related to real life issues (read pinned post for context).
I’ve reread SC1 and RC many times, including having only just properly read SC2 this year, coming to grow as an author I recognised how OOC Swifthawk was written and that the beginning chapters of him being extremely aggressive and mean to his family due to his adamancy to do something about TigerClan felt off. So, when he impulsively leaves to join TigerClan, the aggression and frustrating tone from beforehand doesn’t really convey what Swifthawk is losing when he decides to go join his father. Him being this bitter also in my opinion what set up justifications for the constant bashing Swifthawk as a protagonist goes through. (Which. Swifthawk being one of the most disabled characters in the story? And most of the attempts at humour being at his expense? The emotional torture porn? Rubbed me the wrong way, like, if that is actually was its genre, who cares. But it wasn’t.)
And to be honest, the whole, mole plan, Swifthawk was supposedly meant to have, and being let into TigerClan just doesn’t make sense; Swift is already aware how dangerous his father is, you can still have him have conflictions without making his behaviour OOC into that of a appeasing people pleaser.
This is intertwined with another big key issue in SC2 is that Tigerstar and his abusive and overall malicious nature was toned down to the point he felt like a completely different character. (And honestly, gave uncomfortable implications due to Bird’s need to be flippant on portraying things “right” out of fear what their audience will say about them over the stories they want to tell.)
In SC1, Tigerstar only showed up for two scenes; which both conveyed enough that he was willing to cause Swifthawk deliberate distress and not change his mind about hurting cats Swifthawk cares about. Using his words against him, gaslighting him, and overall DARVO tactics to guilt trip his son.
Sure, there was some instilled regret and perhaps guilt, but not enough for Tigerstar to actually be willing to change or consider how Swift or any other cat is affected by his selfishness. Hell, Bird even explained to me Tiger very much uses his "you don't understand. I have no choice." as an excuse for his abusive actions.
He chose ambition and power over doing what is right. Which IMO was conveyed by these two panels alone:
Tigerstar also gaslights and beats up Swift and leaves him to die in SC1, using Swift's "broken cat" refer of himself against him, and not hearing him out whatsoever.
Tigerstar is also very much aware how much Swift values his ThunderClan family, and taunts Swifthawk about it just by that smile alone. Making it very clear that Tigerstar's care and love is conditional, he will hurt Swift just to maintain his goals and ambitions, if not, just for his own amusement.
And then we get to SC2...where exchanges like this just make all that tension and intimidation fall flat.
Like, this is the same cat who was willing to draw blood from his own child and deliberately injure his bad eye combined with the psychological distress and abuse:
Him suddenly making Swift an exception in SC2, being nice to him sometimes, and overall, being written more as a jerk rather than an abusive extremist is one of the many aspects that hurt the story. How the abuse was handled comes off extremely cartoonish, compared to SC1 which IMO wasn't afraid to NOT hold itself back.
This is why I pretty much use Bird's writing advice they have given me as an example; everything about their art and writing has become opposite of this advice:
I plan to go more into depth about the issues SC2 had in some form of critique post(s) to also explain changes in the rewrite I’ve made and why if people are interested or even felt similar frustrations with what has happened to the story themselves, but Tigerstar and Bird's decline and paranoia around dark themes has also played a part in their writing nose diving.
This isn't to say SC1 definitely didn't have its own issues (such as Cinderpelt not being her own character outside of …taking care of Swifthawk and Brightheart being shoved into the background, same case for Longtail.) but I still adore it and RC to this day. But I’m prioritizing the rewrite itself first as a story I want to tell.
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