Quick Tips For Writing Emotional Tension

Hello! Can you help me and/or give me examples of how to write a pre-teen? Specifically a slightly mature for their age but still socially-awkward, selfless, empathetic, extroverted 10-year-old

How to Write a Pre-Teen

Voice and Language

Simple but specific vocabulary: Pre-teens might not use very complex words, but they often know and throw in some “big words” they’ve recently learned or mimic words they hear adults use. Don’t overdo it, though—they’ll often misapply or half-understand these terms, which can create natural, humorous moments.

“It’s totally, like, a catastrophe that I forgot my project.”

Expressive dialogue: Pre-teens are enthusiastic and often exaggerate. They can also shift quickly between emotions, from excitement to frustration.

“That was the best movie ever!” might turn into “Actually, I mean, it was kinda boring in some parts, but, you know, overall…”

Thoughtful yet blunt: Kids this age often haven’t fully learned the “filters” adults use. They can be direct and say things that are surprisingly insightful or unexpectedly honest.

Thoughts and Perspective

Developing identity and opinions: They’re beginning to form their own beliefs but still echo the views of family, teachers, or friends.

“Mom says people should never lie, but I wonder if little lies are okay if they help people feel better…”

Questioning and introspective moments: Pre-teens are curious about life, relationships, and “big ideas.” They may ask questions, but sometimes keep their deep thoughts to themselves, exploring them internally.

“If friends are supposed to be there for each other, why do I feel alone even when they’re around?”

Struggle with abstract concepts: At this age, they’re just beginning to understand abstract ideas like justice or friendship but often approach them in straightforward, literal ways.

Behavior and Actions

Impulsivity and energy: They might shift quickly between activities and emotions, getting distracted or excited without much control over it. They may also blurt out ideas or act before thinking, especially if they’re extroverted.

For instance, a character might immediately jump up to help someone even if they aren’t sure what to do, or they might “borrow” something without fully considering the consequences.

Physical awkwardness: Pre-teens can be a bit clumsy as they’re still growing into their bodies. This can lead to endearing, awkward moments.

They might knock something over, trip over their own feet, or feel self-conscious in ways that show they’re still figuring themselves out physically as well as socially.

Friendships and Social Dynamics

Navigating social rules: Pre-teens are very aware of social “rules” but may not fully understand them. This is an age when they care a lot about what their friends think, but they’re also just beginning to question these dynamics.

A pre-teen might want to befriend the “cool” kids but feel conflicted when they realize their values don’t align. Or they may try too hard to impress friends and feel self-conscious afterward.

Conflicted loyalties: Friendships are often intense at this age, and they might struggle with conflicting feelings if friends argue or if they feel left out.

“I really like hanging out with Sarah, but I know Emma doesn’t. Maybe if I can make them both laugh, we could all just… get along?”

Small gestures: Pre-teens often show they care in understated ways, like sharing snacks, giving a small gift, or cheering someone up when they’re down. For a socially-awkward pre-teen, these gestures may come out clumsy but sweet.

Insecurity and Self-Awareness

Self-consciousness mixed with bravery: Pre-teens often fluctuate between trying to fit in and wanting to stand out. They might do something brave but then doubt themselves or quickly retreat if things don’t go as planned.

For instance, a character might volunteer to speak in front of the class only to feel panicked once they’re in the spotlight.

Hyper-awareness of themselves and others: They’re beginning to notice how others perceive them and may get flustered easily or worry about little things, like if their clothes look okay or if they sounded silly.

“I shouldn’t have laughed like that… I bet everyone thought I sounded so weird.”

Joking as a defense: Pre-teens often use humor to cope, covering up their awkwardness or discomfort by making jokes.

Reactions to Conflict and Emotion

Quick emotional shifts: They might go from laughing to frustrated to embarrassed in just a few minutes. They feel emotions intensely and may have outbursts or react strongly to things adults might dismiss as minor.

Heroic ideals vs. real-world disappointments: Many pre-teens have an idealized view of right and wrong, fairness, and heroism, and they may be disappointed when things don’t align with these ideals. They’re just starting to understand that people aren’t all good or all bad.

“I don’t get it… why would she lie about something like that? Friends are supposed to be honest!”

thinking about how richard papen was so desperate to find somewhere to belong because of the broken family he came from and he was obsessed with the exclusive class and after joining them he started resembling them, picking up their habits and their attitude, all because he wanted a family, to be included, and yet even after he joined them he still remained an outsider up until the very end. “your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing” is so richard papen

Queen and their movie counterparts

Tandy constantly flirting with Tyrone and him being exasperated but pleased

Shalom Harlow by Ellen von Unwerth, 1993

Maya Hawke really has something in her contract that says to be in a movie either she or the main characters has to be a lesbian and honestly love that for her

Character Strengths

adaptable / adventurous / ambitious / amiable / articulate / attentive / bold / brave / calm / candid / capable / compassionate / confident / considerate / courageous / creative / curious / decisive / dedicated / determined / diligent / diplomatic / empathetic / energetic / enthusiastic / fair / faithful / forgiving / friendly / generous / gentle / genuine / hardworking / honest / humble / imaginative / independent / insightful / intelligent / intuitive / inventive / joyful / kind / loyal / mature / modest / motivated / observant / optimistic / organized / patient / perceptive / persistent / practical / proactive / reliable / resilient / resourceful / respectful / responsible / self-aware / self-disciplined / sincere / supportive / tenacious / thoughtful / trustworthy / understanding / wise / witty

I am a sensitive person.

I feel things deeply, even if it doesn’t always show. I learned to downplay my emotions, to water myself down in an attempt to be more palatable.

Because when enough people tell you that being sensitive in a bad thing, you start believing them.

-a work in progress I’m posting.

Use character to appearance to do more:

They say don’t judge a book by it’s cover, but appearance sure can say a lot. Unfortunately when writing (or even drawing) it is more than easy to forget that factor. Using character appearance to describe the world, add personality to the character, and give the reader more information does wonders. 

It makes sneaking in character appearance much easier, and gives the writer plenty of chances to expand on the world on their page.

Things you can use character appearance to do (but not limited to)

Hint at a character’s economic status

Add personality to a character

Add to a character’s backstory 

Make notes about a character’s health

Worldbuild the fashion

Describe a character’s occupation

Make references to a character’s passion or hobby

Hint at a character’s relationship status

How a character feels about their own appearance

Family relations

Hint at a character’s education

Subvert expectations

Explore character’s potential gender identity

Align the character alongside dynamics or trope

Explain the time frame the story takes place in

Hint at the level of technology in a world

Describe a character’s culture, race, ethnicity, etc.

♡