Don't Abandon Your Writing

Gauging an interest check because I really love doing diamond art but if I'm just doing it for me, I don't really need a thousand keychains no matter how cute they are. (Please let me make the cute things.) An example is below:

on etsy and bigcartel

My spooky folks have spoken! My next diamond dot projects will be more spooky Halloween stuff, followed by the nerdy/geeky stuff. Thanks for voting!

*Sighs in writer*

you know you’re a writer when…

you spend 30 minutes choosing the perfect synonym for “said” only to change it back to “said.”

you google “how long does it take to bleed out” at 3 a.m. and now the FBI is probably watching you.

you write one sentence, stare at it, rewrite it 14 times, and somehow end up back at the original version.

“this scene is so important” but you have no idea what the scene actually is or why it’s important.

you come up with the best story ideas… in the shower… with no way to write them down.

your characters feel like real people but also you’re like “who are these guys and what do they want from me?”

your brain says “start writing!” but instead you reorganize your desk, reread your notes, and spend two hours naming a side character who shows up once.

you’ve cried over your WIP exactly 67 times and will do it again because the pain is the point.

you reread something you wrote and think, “wow, did i peak as a writer three months ago?”

every writing session begins with the sacred ritual of scrolling social media, opening unnecessary tabs, and procrastinating until panic sets in.

you have no idea how long a chapter should be, so you just… vibe.

you can’t watch tv or movies without mentally critiquing the plot, dialogue, and pacing.

your writing playlist is 98% vibes, 2% songs you’ll actually listen to while writing.

you keep a “murder notebook” but swear it’s not suspicious because it’s for your novel (probably).

the phrase “just one more draft” is your eternal mantra, even though you’ve rewritten this thing more times than you can count.

ur future nurse is using chapgpt to glide thru school u better take care of urself

Fan Expo Chicago 2024 Recap!

Ta-da! The Fan Expo recap is finally here! Sorry it took so long, but there was a lot to cover. I hope you enjoy!

So, first and foremost, the trip down there was relatively uneventful. Except for some construction and my GPS taking a nap en route to the hotel, I managed to get around just fine. Check-in went very smoothly, and I chilled in the hotel for roughly half an hour (it was a long drive for me, y'all!) before heading over to the con.

Parking at this venue was...a nightmare. On Friday evening (like 4pm), it took me 10 minutes of circling the parking garage in search of a spot before someone finally came to redirect us to overflow parking. Saturday was by far the worst day, which I feel is fairly normal for most conventions, but this felt....excessively underplanned. Not only did it take me 45 minutes to get from my hotel to the venue on Saturday (hotel was a mile away for the record), but it also then took me roughly 10ish minutes to walk across to the other side of the garage to get to the crosswalk for the venue. And it was very hot that day. Like 80s-90s Fahrenheit hot, and humid af. It was like walking through soup. Sunday wasn't nearly as bad. I still had to park in the sticks, but it was the closest of my parking spaces for the weekend.

Now for the actual fun stuff:

The first step of getting inside any location is figuring out where everything is, right? So that's what I did. Once I got my badge and got in, I spent most of Friday orienting myself on the venue's layout. Because it was huge. And not just huge, but also packed almost elbow to elbow with people. There were, quite frankly, too many people in too small a space. Honestly, I was thankful for the water bottle hanging off my wrist because it kept most people at bay. Anyway, the first place I went to was, of course, Artist Alley! Since I’m not artistically gifted, I love seeing what other people can draw and create. I spent most of Friday wandering the artist alley looking at what everyone had to offer. I had to make several loops though because it was so crowded and some booths were really popular, so I had to come back to ones I was interested in.

The most surprising thing I discovered in my wandering was a booth run by an artist I know of! I got to meet the lovely LeonDoodlez, who does amazing work (please go have a look at their socials) and who I know from another artist I help mod for. We had a good chat while I was picking out prints, and I ended up going back later in the weekend to get more from them. They are a lovely human, please go show them some love; they truly deserve it. Here are some of the prints I got from them:

Since there weren’t really any panels of interest to me on Friday, I decided to bump one of my autographs to that day and it was a very good decision. Despite having to wait in line for roughly an hour (I sat on the floor for a good chunk of that), because they had to go do photo ops while we waited, I did get to meet Alan Tudyk and have him sign my Firefly sketchbook. He gave a good hearty chuckle at me telling him that I was going to bring two dinosaurs to say hello but one of them ate them on the ride down, so he was in timeout. (It’s a Firefly reference, for those who don’t understand.) And despite saying I had to keep an eye on those silly dinos, Alan did also say it was a good thing I was, instead, keeping an eye on the road since I was driving by myself. We had a good handshake, I thanked him for being there, and then I went on my merry way. Had to keep the book open for a little bit to let the ink dry, but I pretty much did one more small pass through the exhibitors hall and then headed back to the hotel for the night. (I had to shower both nights because egads…turns out the AC was broken up until Sunday, and even then, it didn’t feel like it was doing any good. But I wasn’t going to meet people smelling like I did.)

Saturday! Saturday, I met up with some Twitch friends! Another pair of lovely humans, ThePhoenixPath and PunkleNix, both variety streamers (please go check them out both here on Kofi and on Twitch!). Phoenix brought her kiddos with her, and this was the first event of this kind they all had been to, so it was a bit overwhelming for them. Once we got inside, I kind of let them wander around and followed behind to both help keep an eye on the kiddos, and to let them experience the chaos. We met some wonderful and amazing cosplayers who took the time to talk through some of their process with the kiddos, one of whom is interested in cosplay themselves, and overall, I think everyone had fun. They did have to leave about halfway through due to overstimulation, which I completely understood (seriously, that shoulder-to-shoulder crowding was worse on Saturday). We hugged and said our goodbyes, and I made a snap decision to get a surprise gift for my sister, for which I stood in line for roughly another hour. But I made some line buddies, had an idle chat here and there, and got what I came for. Then I went up to the main theater floor to have some food and chill for a bit before the cosplay contest.

You probably don’t know this about me, because I don’t post about it much, but I love cosplay. I can only wish I had the time and energy (and money, let’s be real) to put in the work some of these cosplayers do for their outfits. They are stunning and I am in a constant state of awe at seeing just what can be accomplished. While I was having my chill time, the entrants for the cosplay contest started to gather and pretty much all of them were phenomenal. (I really only stopped one because I didn’t realize she was in the contest until I saw everyone else lining up.) Plus, once the line for the previous panel had gone inside, we were allowed to line up for the next one, which was the cosplay contest, so I gathered my things and parked myself in the line. And because I had roughly 45 minutes to wait again, I sat down with most everyone else who came early. I ended up making small talk with the pair in front of me (shoutout to Becca and Rachel, wherever you are!) and they even offered me some of the fudge they had bought. The mystery flavor tasted like candy corn, even though they had said it was supposed to be marshmallow, and I needed something to get the taste out of my mouth! Anyway, they also let me sit with them for the contest and showed me some highlights from the Twilight musical parody from the night before (apparently it was hilarious). I won’t spam you with the photos from the contest, because there’s a lot, but if you’re interested, feel free to DM me and I’ll send you a link.

Another shower and night of sleep, and I was back at it on Sunday. I’d like to say Sunday was by far the chillest day of the con, and I guess in a way, it was, but also…all I did was stand in line for five hours…You may be wondering why.

Well, half of the reason for me taking this trip was to get a very particular gift for my sister. An autograph from one, Neil Newbon, the voice actor of Astarion from Baldur’s Gate 3. That was my entire Sunday, y’all. Again, I made some line buddies, chatted about the wait and how ridiculous the line was (and how it had been like that all weekend), and eventually parked my butt when he went off to do photo ops for an hour. Now, I could’ve done what some of my line buddies did in that hour, which was to ask to have my spot held and go get another autograph, but I didn’t, and in doing so, missed the other one I had planned for. The good news, though, was that I was able to at least get a refund, so I didn’t exactly lose money because they had left by the time I got there. And I made up for it by getting myself an autograph from Neil for having endured the gauntlet, as I’ve now heard it called.

My interaction with Neil was far more lowkey than I had expected, but through no fault of his. As someone who had also been there the entire weekend (and probably got better sleep), I understood his demeanor fully. He looked and sounded as tired as I felt after five hours of standing/sitting in line. He’d also strained his voice from what I heard, so I understood the lack of his usual chaotic enthusiasm. 

That being said, I did get a hearty chuckle when I plopped my little Goostarion down on the table for him and told him that despite needing context from friends, I made him his own little angry goose. (It had a tag around its neck that said “Careful, I bite,” as well as my info as the creator and the pattern designer’s info, but it fell off somewhere while I was in line and I’m still mad about it.) 

He was also kind enough to scribble a Happy Birthday on my sister’s print because I had mentioned it was a birthday gift to her and we’d technically been cut off from quotes and selfies by then. Mostly so they could get through the line faster. He was truly a sweet human even with all his fatigue, and I don’t regret anything about meeting him. I feel like I got to see the most human side of fame and that’s honestly very special, as someone who deals with a lot of mental health issues and doesn’t always want to be perceived but still must promote themselves for work. 

I did, however, learn to come earlier. Like, Friday early.

This trip was an experience and a half, but it was all worth it in the end. I feel like I reclaimed a part of me that went missing years ago, or at least went deep into hiding, and I feel like I have the confidence to be able to try to do it again at the very least. Of course, it would be better to go with friends so I have other, familiar people to nerd out with, but being able to go alone proved that I could do it, and I needed that confidence boost.

I’d say sorry this got so long and rambly, but I’m not sorry. You guys made this possible and I wanted to share the experience with you, most of it anyway. Thanks for making this happen and keep your eyes peeled for some new merch coming soon! It could be...Karlach approved ^_~

Cosplay update! And ducks!

https://ko-fi.com/post/Cosplay-Progress-And-Ducks-Z8Z71CAA6W

if you didn’t realize, ableism is actually bigotry and systemic ableism and inaccessibility are really oppression and it’s not something disabled people brought on ourselves by having bodies&minds that you think are inferior and therefore not worth fighting for. disabled people’s lives and wellbeing matter. we don’t have to earn our worthiness by doing “enough” to deserve a good life. nobody does.

gang night