I Don’t Want Crosshair To Have An Anakin Skywalker Redemption Arc.

I don’t want Crosshair to have an Anakin Skywalker redemption arc.

I want Crosshair to have a Bucky Barnes recovery arc.

I don’t want Crosshair to do a bunch of dark, evil things, get the chip out or have a change of heart or realize what he’s doing is wrong, do one good thing or save someone’s life, and then die for it.

I want Crosshair to do a bunch of dark, evil things, get the chip out or break through the chip and realize what he’s doing it wrong, do something good and/or save someone’s life, and then survive to have to deal with the repercussions and face the consequences.

Not legal consequences. Crosshair is, at the end of the day, a victim of the Empire. He’s being mind controlled. He’s been brainwashed. He’s been Winter Soldier-ed.

Yes, he’s killing civilians. He’s hunting his brothers. He’s hurting people. He’s ruining lives. He’s killing people. But his actions are not his fault. He’s just the puppet, the Empire is pulling his strings. He has no control. He’s being forced to commit these crimes. However… he’s still the one doing them. And he has to face the emotional repercussions of doing that. He has to redeem himself to the people he hurt in able to recover from that trauma.

I could go on and on about the parallels between Crosshair in just the first 3 episodes alone, and the Winter Soldier. There are direct, scene for scene parallels between the two characters. I want so desperately for them to continue that trend.

To talk about Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier for a second: obviously, Bucky is not to blame for what he did during his time as the Winter Soldier. Hydra was the one in control - they tortured him, they hooked him up machines and wiped his mind, they took away his free will, they made him fight and kill and torture strangers, friends, foes, the guilty, the innocent, civilians, criminals, politicians, etc. As an audience we know this, we understand it and we sympathize with him.

But… he still did all those things.

One of my favorite Bucky scenes (and honestly probably the scene that really made me fall in love with him) was in Captain America Civil War when Bucky and Steve are on the quinjet to Siberia to fight the other Winter Soldiers.

Bucky: I don't know if I'm worth all this, Steve.

Steve: What you did all those years... it wasn't you. You didn't have a choice.

Bucky: I know. But I did it.

Bucky is able to acknowledge that while he didn't have any control over his actions and what he did, he still did bad things to innocent people. And those innocent people are still going to look at Bucky and see the man who caused them pain, hurt, and suffering. Sure, they might understand logically that he wasn't in control, that he wasn't the one who did those things. But we don't always think rationally when we are angry and scared and hurt.

We can see this later in Siberia when Tony attacks Bucky. Immediately after watching the video he turns to Bucky. We can see the resigned look on Bucky's face. Bucky understands. He understands that in that moment, Tony isn't thinking rationally. He is thinking with his emotions. And his emotions are blinding him, in that moment, to the fact that it wasn't Bucky who did those things, but Hydra using Bucky's body as a puppet. "It wasn't him, Tony." "I don't care. He killed my mom." Was Tony right to attack Bucky? No. Did Bucky deserve it? No. But we can see on Bucky's face right before the fight starts that he understands why Tony is doing it and honestly? Probably doesn't blame him. He understands that even though he wasn't in control when he killed Tony's parents, he still did it. He still caused Tony real pain that doesn't pay attention to things like fairness or blame. All Tony can see is Bucky's hands killing his mom, and they both have to face the emotional repercussions of that.

Another great (and less discourse-y) example of this is in Falcon and the Winter Soldier. We see Bucky continue to have to face the emotional repercussions of his time as the Winter Soldier. He's making amends for his actions and working through the psychological pain of it. He may not have been in control when he killed Yori's son, but it was still his hands that pulled the trigger. That is why he's so afraid to tell Yori the truth through the whole series. He thinks he's protecting Yori from the pain of knowing what happened to his son by not telling him, when in actuality he is protecting himself from that pain of what Yori might think of him after Bucky tells him. He's aware enough to know that Yori might hate him, never speak to him again, that he might lose a friend. Because while he wasn't in control when he shot Yori's son, at the end of the day, he died by Bucky's hands. Yori's son is still dead because of Bucky. It's not fair, but sometimes life isn't always rainbows and butterflies with a fairy tale ending.

Back to the Bad Batch: I want Crosshair to get his chip out and go back to the Batch and have to face the repercussions of what he did with the Empire. I want the Bad Batch to be distrustful of Crosshair at first. I want Crosshair to be afraid to be left alone with Omega. I want Crosshair to not trust his own mind. I want Crosshair to be hurt or get frustrated after the 15th time he moves too suddenly and Tech flinches. I want Crosshair to have nightmares. I want Crosshair to have to recover from his own trauma while also redeeming himself after the trauma he caused the Batch. Not just... die. Sometimes recovery and redemption is messy and ugly. But it's necessary and it's more interesting narratively than killing him off.

Do I think the show is going to do this? No. It's a children's show and they've already shown they aren't going that deep into the emotionality of everything. I just think this would be a much more interesting and complex way to carry on Crosshair and the Bad Batch's storyline while also providing opportunity for character development in the Batch outside of Hunter and Omega. They've already shown they know how to write a redemption arc - they managed to write a redemption arc for Kallus successfully and, while I love Kallus, he did work for the Empire and commit war crimes and participate in genocide of his own volition without a chip in his brain. If they can do it for Kallus, they can do it for Crosshair.

If they kill Crosshair off I'm going to be genuinely angry because it seems like such a waste of character and also a waste of good content and character development for the entire Bad Batch going forward. With the confirmation of season 2, I don't think they're going to kill him (yet). Right now my worst fear is that they'll get the chip out and he'll stay with the Empire or he'll reveal the chip has been kaput for months and he's doing all this because he wants to, which would make no sense based on what we've seen of him in season 7 of tcw and throughout this show. But that's for a different post. I guess we'll see with tomorrow's episode.

More Posts from Nhilol and Others

nhilol

2 years ago

“Felt cute, might kick someones ass later”

I won't stop drawing my fav emo babygurl Reblogs are much appreciated <333 Instagram shadow banned this one imma cri 🫠

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nhilol

6 years ago

I cried 😭😭

You Overhear Him Talk About You Part 3

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A/N: hi babes! I just want to thank you for the amount of love and feedback I’ve received for this series! I’m so happy to hear y’all enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it! As per countless requests, here is part 3! Sorry for any errors. As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Happy Reading💜

For those who are interested, I will link the previous parts here:

Part 1 Part 2

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After what seemed like the millionth time for the night, Tom decided that the he would put a pause on his barrage of texts and calls and try again in the morning.

He did not want to sleep in what was before your shared bedroom, shivering at the thought if the empty and frigid room, your happy memories haunting him; so he settled into the couch. As he struggled for a somewhat comfortable position, his mind went to the memories of the ordeal that had just unfolded the past 48 hours.

“you should’ve came to me”

“how am I supposed to be okay when the person I love is ashamed of being with me”

“have I really done you wrong”

“was it necessary to make me look that bad”

“it’s clear you’re ashamed of dating me, so I’ll do both of us a favor and just leave”

Your voice rang through his mind, the heartbrokenness evident. He remembered how shaky your voice was, quivering at the immeasurable amount of pain and shame that engrossed your entirety.

You woke up a couple of hours later groaning at the fact that in the midst of all that had transpired, you managed to sleep a total of only 5 hours. You were exhausted, beyond all measure, your groans escaping your lips out of pure annoyance. Your body clearly had other plans but to rouse you from your slumber and run through all that has happened and how you ended up here.

Instinctively, you reached over the bedside table for your phone.

3:23 am.

53 missed calls, 48 voicemails, 88 messages

You didn’t have to wonder or guess as to who could possibly bombard you with 189 notifications, you knew who the culprit was.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the phone screen in your palm. You let out an exasperated sigh as you transfixed your body into a fetal position praying that by some miracle your body will succumb to the sleep it so desperately wants and needs. You had no energy left in you to entertain your mind and its calls for you to read through the texts and listen to the voicemails.

You awoke to the sun shining through, illuminating your hotel room. You rolled out of bed and made your way to the bathroom. You took in your appearance; bloodshot and swollen eyes, a red nose, flushed face and hair sticking out in all directions. You saw your reflection, you absorbed every single detail of the aftermath, ingraining your appearance into a folder in your mind, only opening into the late hours of the night, keeping you company in your new state of loneliness.

You shut off the light and slogged back into bed. You buried yourself into the duvet and began to feel the heaviness of your eyelids, welcoming the sleep you desperately needed.

Tom’s POV

C’mon Tom. Try again, even if she doesn’t answer. I can’t give up, we can’t go out, not like this. Call her, text her, whatever it is, just don’t give up. This is worth fighting for, she is worth fighting for. Please answer me, babe. Please.

He called you again, texted you as well. You saw his contact picture and watched your phone ring, watching go from “incoming call” to “missed call”.

That was how your day went, with you curled up in the bed, phone in hand, waiting, watching him try his best to get in contact with you. He has to give up at some point, right?

Y/N’s POV

For the past 72 hours or so, trying to fall asleep was next to impossible. My head was filled with several thoughts and “what ifs” constantly flooding into my brain. I turned on my phone and scrolled through my Instagram feed, trying to tire myself. It never worked. I repeated this theory every night thinking that I would have an epiphany on ways to fall asleep. I knew that it was beginning to become a problem when I eventually dozed off at half past four, leaving me two and a half hours before morning. I awoke with no problem, but my eyes were bloodshot as usual and defined with a heavy black crease which under each which I had given up trying to hide with concealer.

It was that time again, that dreaded day where I was scheduled to work another arduous and exhausting 12 hour shift. It’s been about 5 days since I last saw him, since I last spoke to him; these 5 days seem like eternity. Within that 5 day period, I had a lot of time to myself, time to really think what is left of Tom and Y/N. Was this the end? Is this how we end?

Thankfully, I always carried a extra pair of scrubs in my car, so it saved me the inevitable trip back to our place- err, his place.

I quickly went to get ready and before I knew it, I was out the door and on my way to the elevators.

As soon as I got to the unit, I took in the scene and atmosphere before me. It was a bit busy, but it was doable. Now you see, in healthcare, we cannot say the “q word” (quiet) once that word is in the air, all hell breaks loose.

Here we go, shift, please be good to me, I beg you.

Midway through my shift, I can feel the tiredness inside me like a worm, slowly but deliberately draining my life. I see, but I don’t think much of it. I hear, but I’m not really listening. Everything seems to move in a dragged pace, all submerged into a hazy fuzz that is my vision.

Self diagnosing myself with insomnia, I come to the realization the severity and sheer magnitude of insomnia and its effects; it turns you into a living zombie. I’ve been awake, praying that somehow, some way, I would’ve been cancelled at work today and didn’t have to go in.

“Why do you look so tired?” said the night shift nurse who was giving report to me.

“It’s been a rather long week” I quickly replied, ending the conversation.

She just nodded and continued on with report for her remaining patients.

It was during your lunch break that you felt your phone buzzing.

It was an incoming call from him.

You sighed, and placed your phone back into your pocket. Making sure to put it on ‘Do Not Disturb’

You carried on with the remainder of your shift, thankful that all was okay with your patients with no new admissions.

The next few hours flew by and before you knew it, you were giving report to the nurse next shift and you were making your way out of your unit and into your car.

You took out your phone, to no surprise, you were greeted with 20 voicemails and 25 texts.

You exhaled, he was going to keep trying to get ahold of you until you gave in and picked up, or at least even sent him back a text.

You read his last text.

Tom: Y/N, hi. When you get the chance please call me/text me. I just want to make sure you’re okay. I love you.

This was it, this was the moment you were going to finally reply to him.

Y/N: hi, T. ‘m alright, can we meet up to talk?

Within seconds of you hitting send, you saw the infamous three dots, he was replying.

Tom: wow, you actually replied back. Thank you, happy to hear you’re okay. Yeah, wanna come by the apartment?

Y/N: okay, on my way

Tom: okay, sounds good. See you in a bit

You took the long way to the apartment, your mind thinking of every possible way/any plausible excuse you could conjure up so you didn’t have to see him.

About an hour later, you arrived at what used to be your shared apartment.

You got out of your car and slowly began your way up the steps and to the front door. You felt weird just entering, feeling like you were barging in(although in reality, you weren’t, this is your home too) so you knocked.

It wasn’t long before you heard him unlock the door, you saw him display a look of what seemed like confusion, but he quickly brushed it off and move aside a bit, making space for you to enter.

You stood at your spot awkwardly until he offered you to take a seat on the couch.

You slowly made your way to your seat on the couch, waiting for him to get situated, praying that he initiated this long awaited conversation so this meeting could be over.

You sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, both of you not knowing what to say/how to start.

The awkwardness was unbearable that you caved in and decided to speak first.

“I don’t really know how to start this, there’s a million thoughts going through my mind right now, let’s hope I don’t forget something” you let out a big sigh before continuing on again.

“I still stand by what I said, if this was truly an issue, you should’ve came to me. You should’ve just told me. You don’t know how much it hurt to find out the way I did, through a conversation with your best friend. Do you understand how embarrassing this is? And I still stand by my decision, I think it’d be best if we just end things” I spoke, noticing it become just above a whisper

“I am so sorry, babe. Really, truly am.I’m not ashamed of being with you, you have to believe me. I know, I should’ve came to you. I am sorry. But please. Please, don’t do this. Please, we can get through this. I love you” he let out quickly.

“I’m so sorry T, but I can’t. How do I know you’re telling the truth this time? I don’t think I can be in this relationship with many doubts racing through my mind, you’ve embarrassed me tremendously. I do hope you find the one person who you aren’t ashamed of. Bye, Tom. Take care.” you spoke, tears flowing ceaselessly, as you made your way to the front door.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. Please believe me, I’m telling you the truth. I am not ashamed of being with you.”

“Please Tom, please stop. Don’t make this anymore painful” you begged

“Before you go, can I please just hold you, hug you one last time?”

You didn’t say a word, you just stood frozen in place, with your hand on the doorknob.

In the blink of an eye, he stood before you, opening his arms and holding you one last time.

A single tear slid down from his warm, butterscotch eyes, followed by another one, and another one, until soon, a steady stream of salty tears flowed it’s way down his pale cheek, releasing the sadness and sorrow that has been held inside of him for all this time but still he did not make a sound. He sobbed into you chest unceasingly, hands clutching at your jacket.

You held him in silence, rocking him slowly as his tears soaked your chest. A tiny lapse let him pull away, blinking lashes heavy with tears, before he collapsed again, his howls of misery worsening. The pain must have come in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling him back into the outstretched arms of his grief.

She stood in his arms for a few minutes before untangling herself from his grasp.

She hugged him one last time before she set out for the door, and out of his life forever.

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nhilol

2 years ago

Cody!

6K notes View Post

nhilol

2 years ago

Super curious to know what your version of live action Anakin & Obi-Wan look like 🙏🏼 #request

It’s super strange to draw their live action versions lol I’m definitely not used to it and need more practice with them 😅 but yeah, here you go?

and i just watched bullet train again so the pose and background reference is from there :D

Super Curious To Know What Your Version Of Live Action Anakin & Obi-Wan Look Like 🙏🏼 #request

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nhilol

2 years ago

The Batch Realized They Could Give Omega Everything They Never Got....

The Batch realized they could give Omega everything they never got....

JUST SOME rotting fluff ofc, on brand. I just know in my heart that the batch (esp hunter) would shower Omega with encouragement once they got a hang of the whole dad brother thing and realized that they could heal from Kamino through kindness to her ;;;w;;;

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nhilol

2 years ago