Cody As The Winter Soldier. CODY. As The WINTER SOLDIER.

I just want you to know that “The lying bitch who probably isn't even made of iron” is the funniest thing I have ever read and i am forever grateful to you for it

The avengers are FALSE ADVERTISING.

1. Captain America

Apparently America doesn't even have the position of "captain"??? There's only President America. Are you the president Steve??? ARE YOU??? Yeah. Didn't fucking think so. Terrible deception. -2/10

2. Iron Man

You'd THINK he's made of iron but nooOooOO let's call a superhero "iron man" and not tell anyone he's actually made of HUMAN FLESH and ANXIETY I'm fucking PISSED 0/10

3. Black widow

Not a spider (smh). As if that's not bad enough, she's actually a white and unmarried woman. Disgusting. -4/10

4. Hulk

Definition: an old ship stripped of fittings and permanently moored, especially for use as storage or (formerly) as a prison. NOT a big angry Shrek. The sheer absurdity of it all. -6/10

5. Hawkeye

has human eyes -900/10

6. Winter soldier

He was a soldier so I'll give him that. But also can be seen during ALL seasons, NOT JUST WINTER. 5/10 for half truth

7. Spiderman

Ok see this is fair because he's got spider in his DNA. I've only got one criticism and it's that he's not a man. He babey. 7/10

8. Ant Man

DISGUSTING. HORRIBLE. REVOLTING. NOT MADE OF ANTS. DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANT IN HIS DNA. JUST BECOMES V SMALL AND V BIG AS PER WILL BECAUSE OF SCIENCE. ANTS D O NO T BECOME V BIG. SHOULD'VE BEEN CALLED ELECTRICAL ENGINEER MAN or ANT IMPOSTOR MAN. -80/10

9. Vision

he can see. 10/10.

10. Scarlet Witch

often seen wearing scarlet things. scarlet magic waves come out of her hands. So that's nice. Is never seen brewing even one (1) witch potion (paprikash does not count) or casting spells. Does some weird hand wavy thing. Yuck. Not a real witch. 4/10

11. Quicksilver

was v quick. Not made of silver though. Yet another half truth I'm sick of it 5/10

12. Falcon

regular man. Can't even fly without science wings. Is never even seen swooping down on his prey. Decidedly NOT a falcon. -59/10

13. War Machine

has done like 3 wars at least so that's good. Unsure whether the "machine" part is referring to the metal onesie or the man inside it. I'm gonna go with the former because James Rhodes is a hero in his own right. 20/10

14. Thor

yeah. 1000/10

Just imagining Baby Padawan Qui-Gon on a mission with Master Dooku and Yoda. Yoda is just hanging out on Dooku’s back, Dooku is like: “I thought I wouldn’t have to carry you around after I became a Knight” and Yoda’s like: “A Padawan’s duty it is, to support their Master. Carry each other, we do, as Master and Padawan. Insignificant your status is, my student I see you as always.” And Qui-Gon just has a realization.

Cut to later, after the mission is over, and Dooku notices Qui-Gon has been mulling over something. So, like a good Master, he’s like “What’s on your mind, Padawan?”

Qui-Gon hesitates, then asks, “Master, do you see me undependable?”

Dooku: “Of course not, Padawan.”

Qui-Gon: “Master, you don’t have to lie. Just tell me how I have to act to change your mind.”

Dooku: “You are very dependable, Qui-Gon, where is this coming from?”

Qui-Gon takes a deep breath: “You never ask me to carry you, Master.”

Dooku.exe: stops working

Dooku: “…what?”

Qui-Gon: “I know I’ve yet to reach your height, Master, but I assure you that I can lift you up! You don’t weigh that much, Master, I can carry you! You can depend on me, Master!”

Dooku: “…is this about the mission with Yoda?”

Qui-Gon: “Master Yoda said it’s a Padawan’s duty to support their Master. I can support your weight, Master, I promise.”

Dooku tries really hard to convince Qui-Gon that that is not what Yoda was talking about, that Yoda was teasing him, it wasn’t a literal thing, but Qui-Gon refuses to be convinced. Qui-Gon just gets more and more sad, convinced that Dooku doesn’t see him as someone he can lean on, and Dooku is like: “Qui-Gon, I am NOT going to make you carry me, you are twelVE-“ and Qui-Gon just: “You think I’ll drop you, you don’t trust me, how can I earn your trust, Master, I promise I can do it, please depend on me.” And Qui-Gon eventually gets his way, because Dooku is weak.

So we just see twelve-year-old Qui-Gon piggybacking Dooku around the temple. Qui-Gon is taking very slow steps and his tongue is stuck out in concentration because he has to partially lift his Master with the Force (Master Dooku is heavier than he looks, Qui-Gon thinks to himself) and everyone is staring at them because they’re very confused and Dooku is trying really hard to fight the urge to bury his face in his hands to hide.

They reach Yoda, eventually, who stops them and asks what’s up and Qui-Gon, positively beaming depsite the fact that he is trembling and sweaty and tired from carrying a grown man on his back for over an hour, just says: “You were right, Master Yoda. I realized on our mission that I’ve been making Master Dooku do all the carrying, so I decided to even the scale.”

And Yoda just looks at this cheerful boy and then looks at his old Padawan who is sending out very strong “don’t look at me” vibes in the Force and Yoda just says: “Good work you have done, Qui-Gon.” Because what else is there to say??? Qui-Gon looks so proud of himself! Yoda can’t admit he was trolling, not when Qui-Gon is so cheerful about learning from him!

All this to say, years later, Obi-Wan just drags a half-passed out Qui-Gon on his back, and it isn’t even really a piggyback because Qui-Gon is just draped over top of him, but Qui-Gon is like: “Wow, Obi-Wan. I didn’t even have to ask you, you just knew about this, you really did your research” and Obi-Wan is like “??? Yes, Master, I read the briefing for the mission, you said you weren’t going to, one of us had to-“

And years more later, Force Ghost Qui-Gon watches Anakin casually sling Obi-Wan over his shoulder and Qui-Gon just smiles and is like “I knew it. He really was meant to be a Jedi.”

And more years, more later, Ahsoka is dragging Anakin the same way Obi-Wan dragged Qui-Gon and Qui-Gon is SO proud!!!

Even longer, after everything’s gone to shit, and Luke is carrying around Yoda (he never got the chance to carry around Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon understands) and Qui-Gon is super pleased and Obi-Wan is like “???”

Qui-Gon: “Padawans are supposed to carry their Masters, just as their Masters carry them.”

Obi-Wan: “Yes, I remember hearing that as well, as a youngling, but I think it was supposed to be metaphorically.”

Qui-Gon: “That’s impossible, Obi-Wan. Dooku allowed me to carry him around.”

Obi-Wan: “…”

Obi-Wan, internally: So Dooku was the reason Qui-Gon randomly demanded to be carried… I would say I can’t believe this, but it’s Dooku, so I can.

(Then, Luke eventually trains Grogu for a little bit, and Qui-Gon is like: “ :0 Luke, no!!! He’s supposed to carry you!!!” And Luke is like: “??? He’s a baby.”

Qui-Gon: “I carried my Master when I was twelve :/ “

Yoda: “Determind you were.”

Qui-Gon: “You have to let him carry you, Luke, or else this just won’t work out!”

Grogu eventually ends up leaving and Qui-Gon is still muttering about how it never would have happened of Luke had just listened to him. Luke has mastered the art of tuning Qui-Gon out. Obi-Wan and Yoda wish they could do the same…

So, when Luke starts teaching Rey or someone, as his actual Padawan instead of just a student like the others, Qui-Gon is like: 👀

Luke: “No.”

Qui-Gon: 😔

And, long story short, Rey carries around Master Skywalker, at first because it made it much easier to make fun of him for being short, but then because Rey just finds it easier to get Luke to do things if she is physically carrying him to the thing he has to do.

Qui-Gon is so proud of them. Obi-Wan is so tired. Yoda wonders if he regrets inadvertently teaching Qui-Gon this, then remembers how absolutely mortified Dooku was whenever Qui-Gon piggybacked him around and Yoda decides that it was actually the best lesson he had ever inadvertently taught in his life.)

I have a request if you would be so kind: One of the Batch (any will do) tucking Omega in to bed please!! And thank you for sharing all your wonderful creations!!!!! :D

Hello and thank you!!

Hope you like it ><

the 501st and 212th are fundraising for a new caf machine

one CREEPY spider just earned the KISS of a lifetime- turning her back into her original princess form! (larger spider

Crosshair in a Lula hat. Hope you like it. ❤️🖤❤🖤

Please credit me

just a bunch of yoonkook - [12/?]

↳ ‘Jeongguk Is a Brat’ pt.2 (pt.1)

oh yeah lil hug doodle too

Dare You To Move [5]

Pairing: FWB!Roommate!Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: 3,960

Warnings: Swearing, angst, mentions of sex, fluff, some drinking

Summary: There’s no reason to be jealous…right?

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating! We’re gonna blame Tumblr tbh and also the fact I have an infection and nothing I can do to make it better. Expect an extra chapter later this week! Please lemme know what y’all think!

prologue || ch. 1 || ch. 2 || ch. 3 || ch. 4

series masterlist // masterlist

You told your family you were dating Harrison. What’s that even supposed to mean? Why would you do that? And why are you telling Tom this now? It seems so random and strange for you. You don’t lie to your family, not like that. Well, not really. You’ll lie about you and Tom but that’s your agreement. But, what could be lying to your entire family about Harrison have to do with anything? Why would that even be important? Why didn’t you tell him sooner?

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