Niceteethv - Freedom & Healing

“Let it go. Something beautiful wants to grow in its place.” - Unknown

Ah that motherfucker, there she is, what a bitch

There is a boy who still writes to you; and thinks about you all the time. He does this because...well doesn't know how not to.

I wanted to write honestly what I really think of the girl I love so I did, I won't be able to tell but hear Tumblr

when I think about sunshine and laughter  it is your face that comes to my mind.

I'm holding you tightly so you don't slip away away, I think  I'm holding on too tight my finger lingering slowly up, it strokes your soft hand, along your cheeks, I twist my finger around your hair. damn, I forgot  you don't like that.

I see something in your eyes fuck, I'm stranded in an art museum.

I'm alone in your garden and my head is full of you. I like you too much I want you all to myself. What is your dream, this world. Our Dreamworld. The garden we are laying seeds down for. I think, what if one day I have to forget your eyes? Your voice ?   I wonder will I lose you? I'm holding on so tight, it feels like I'm fighting a whole city.

The seeds, what will happen to the seeds I'm planting. the trees, the flowers, the lilies, the roses, the sunflowers and avo trees - they always were too expensive in shops. will they have blossomed? Have you tasted its fruit? will I have to tear it down, Will I have to burn this garden too? I can't,

I will water it forever and wait but what if you return only with a firestick? My tears fill up rivers for you. But my feelings fill the ocean. Is this an endless garden? don't plant thistles or ivy! My heart pains, I hate tearing down gardens, Have I already? Tell me what it is that you see? In the mirror I see, no lily, no rose, no sunflower. I turn and see baby blue Cadillacs driven by peg-legged nuns on pogo sticks. I lay my head on your heart I hear one, two, three heartbeats.

Will I be turned into a person who's text is left on read. but don't worry I say. I will never say a word

Memory does not count distance

Nor days or month's

Time illuminates memory

Memory is pain

So judge me not when I think of you

Memories turn my blood red

Turn it into ink

This ink is What speaks to you now

Bleeding is a slow dance

Slow dance between survival and death

If I told you that the medication for my condition

Is you

What would you do?

It’s like I’m reading a book. And it’s a book I deeply love. But I’m reading it slowly now. So the words are really far apart and the spaces between the words are almost infinite. I can still feel you, and the words of our story but it’s in this endless space between the words that I’m finding myself now. It’s a place that’s not of the physical world. It’s where everything else is that I didn’t even know existed. I love you so much. But this is where I am now. And this is who I am now. And I need you to let me go. As much as I want to, I can’t live in your book anymore.

her(2013)

I Always Feel You

“There must be a Russian word to describe what has happened between us, like ostyt, which can be used for a cup of  tea that is too hot, but after you walk to the next room, and return, it is too cool; or perekhotet, which is to want something so much over months and even years that when you get it, you have lost the desire.”

— Barbara Hamby, from ‘Letter to a Lost Friend’ (via halcynth)

"I killed a plant once because I gave it too much water. Lord, I worry that love is violence."

-José Olivarez