How Did I Do Today?

How did I do today?

Were you proud of me? Did I do okay? How did you think I acted today? Was I talkative enough?did I make you happy? Did I make you uncontrollably laugh, like I usually do?

Or

Was I a failure like usual? Did I upset you? Did I act differently today? Did I go non-verbal like the little fucking dumb@ss I am? Did I make you depressed? Did I make you concerned, like I usually do?

do you hate me?

hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me?

do you want me to shut the fvck up? I'll gladly do that for you. I'll do anything for you. I'm afraid I don't have my own personality anymore, can I borrow some of yours? Make myself seem more interesting and likeable for once in my life? Just so I can fit in and do what others do??

I feel myself falling.