If Anyone Wants To Befriend Me, Please. I Have So Much Brainrot And I Can’t Hold It In. Is There A

Ranking How Difficult It Would Be to Fight the Various Creatures in Miraland

7. Easiest: Giftys

Even though Giftys are the arbiters of all styling battles, they show no sign of having any defensive abilities. It's also (somewhat) canon that Giftys are edible. This leads me to believe that at least some of them were hunted for food at some point.

6. Faewish Sprites

This might be a controversial pick, considering Faewish Sprites have an entire organized force dedicated to fighting and are shown in-game actually beating people up.

However, I think that's literally just a skill issue. If I was fighting a Faewish Sprite, I would wait for it to fly at me with its stupid little wooden sword, and then I would hit it with a baseball bat and send it flying.

The only reason Faewish Sprites aren't ranked last is because 1. Giftys are pathetic in a fight and 2. I think they could probably shoot each other out of their canons at their opponents and do some real damage.

5. Pieceys

Most weapons wouldn't work on a Piecey because they're just pieces of cloth, but we do know from the Caged Greed boss fight that they can be taken down with enough blunt force trauma. That might be difficult because they can fly, but it's doable.

Alternatively, you could use a flamethrower.

4. Croakers

They seem harmless and relatively easy to fight, but I don't think we should underestimate them. I feel like they could do a jumping kick at me and knock me over very easily. They could also hit me with their long frog tongues, and from there the fight would be over because I would be so uncomfortable that I would just have to leave.

The flamethrower would work on these guys as well.

3. Momo Clan

To be honest, I think taking Momo down in a fight would be quite easy. It's actually Momo's grandpa that gives me pause. His abilities are unknown. I would proceed with caution.

2. Cadenceborn

Kilo is the only Cadenceborn we've met so far, and he seems relatively harmless. It's important to consider that we've never seen him truly threatened, though. Additionally, the other Cadenceborn could be lean mean killing machines, and we just don't know it yet.

The sheer size of the Cadenceborn also concerns me. I'm not sure what weapon would take a Cadenceborn down. What could penetrate their scaly exteriors? Much to think about.

1. Hattys

These things scare me.

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in the rearview mirror i saw the setting sun on your neck

and felt the taste of you bubble up inside me

Jude and I were talking about this the other night on call but I think newer Nikki fans might not know (because Infinity Nikki tones down both Nikki and Momo's quirks) that Nikki is canonically like. a loser. she's a woman of the people.

Yes, you heard that right. She put her mad DOTA skills on her Linkedin. And it worked.

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“Steal the sword, Louie says.” Yvette muttered under her breath as she trudged through the frigid snowy tundra. “That’s our only path to victory, Louie says. Sure, but what he doesn’t bother to mention is that the sword has a mind of its own, and will take everything I say literally, and can also teleport!”

“It also has ears,” the sword supplied helpfully from where it hung at Yvette’s waist. “Well. Metaphorically, at the moment. Rest assured, darling, I can hear everything you’re saying about me. I’m an intelligent being, the least you could do is address me directly when you complain about me!”

Yvette groaned. She’d glare at it to express her displeasure, but she felt a little strange giving an inanimate object the evil eye... or rather what, what should be an inanimate object.

“How did I work for Nidhogg for so long without realizing he has a talking sword?” She grumbled as she pulled her cloak more tightly around her shoulders and tried not to let her teeth chatter. “You were in his office! I saw you every day, and didn’t hear a single peep! I even polished you once!”

“He commanded me not to talk while we were undercover,” the sword said, and somehow it managed to sound pouty. “It was no fun at all to sit in that little display case, day in, day out—we were supposed to be partners, but he treated me like a decoration! Me, Dark Verdict, the Sword of Midnight, forged of Kindred Tears and Elven Blood, turned into a knick knack! You know I was thrilled when King Cesare transferred me to him, thinking that I was finally going to be doing something interesting, but no! Apparently there’s something called the ‘Blood Curse’ now that means he didn’t want to stab everyone? So strange, you humans. Cursing your own blood like that!”

Yvette shook her head. She now had several questions for the sword, both about it and about Nidhogg, but the biting Northern wind was starting to cut through her clothing, and her trudging through the snow was seemingly leading to nowhere. “So, uh.... Dark Verdict, where exactly did you take us? Are we by a town, or even somebody’s house?”

“We are ‘away’,” the sword said. “That’s all you asked for. If you wanted to be by other humans, you should have been more specific.”

Yvette gritted her teeth. “I wasn’t talking to you though, I was using my comm device to—never mind. If I ask again, would you take me to the Nameless Knight headquarters?”

“I won’t,” the sword responded cheerfully. “Not because I wouldn’t want to, but because I’m too tired. It takes a lot of energy to teleport my wielder, and since I’ve hardly killed anyone since being awoken, it takes me a long time to recuperate.”

Yvette groaned. “So thanks to your ‘help’, I’m going to freeze to death?” So much for her grand redemption in the eyes of the light... her first big mission was going to end with her becoming a human icicle! At least Nidhogg would have to do without his magic taking sword from now on... Louie and Agata would have to take it from there, she supposed.

“You’re worried about the cold? If that’s all, I can help with that!” A dark cloud of mist began to flow out of the hilt of the sword. Yvette had to stifle a shriek as a moment later, a woman stepped out of the cloud.

She was.... tall. And intimidating. And beautiful. She had long, flowing salt white hair and sharp blue eyes that were almost glowing. She was dressed in a black and gold Northern Army-style uniform, and had two long swords made of a strange dark metal hanging from her waist.

“Um. Who are you?” Yvette asked, although she was sure this was something else to do with the damn sword.

The woman tilted her head. “I’m Dark Verdict; this is my flesh form. What, did you suppose one of the greatest weapons in all of Miraland would be limited to a single physical existence?”

Yvette blinked a few times and shook her head. “Silly me,” she muttered while mentally cursing Louie for what she was beginning to realize was a woefully inadequate intelligence briefing. “So, you’re a sword, and also a woman. Fine. How does this help me?”

The woman smirked as she shrugged off her long back coat and swung it around in one fluid motion, stepping forward so she could drape the fabric around Yvette’s shoulders. “You are affected by the cold, while I am not, therefore I will allow you to borrow my coat,” Dark Verdict proclaimed gallantly.

The black coat was surprisingly warm for something that hadn’t exactly existed a minute prior. Yvette would have usually felt a little awkward about letting a near stranger give her their coat, but it was freezing enough that she didn’t currently give a damn about normal social conventions.

“Thanks,” she muttered as she quickly stuck her hands outside of the shelter of her own sleeves so she could shift Dark Verdict’s coat to be more effective cover. “This is good. But it doesn’t solve the problem of us being stranded in the wilderness with no way back to civilization. What am I supposed to do when night falls? I’ll still be exposed out here in the freezing cold!”

Dark Verdict pursed her lips and ran a hand over her chin before snapping her fingers and grinning. “I shall start a fire for you! I’m a magic sword, it won’t be that hard.”

Yvette sighed. “And what about shelter?”

The woman only smiled and shook her head. “I shall guide you to shelter. Don’t fret, darling; as long as you carry that sword, I am your devoted servant. Command me as you will, and if it be in my power, I shall do it.”

Yvette bit her lip. Just doing whatever her wielder told her to do? That sure sounded like a shitty, limited existence for a powerful, magical being. But again, now was not the time to worry about that. Maybe she’d have Dark Verdict find her shelter first, and discuss the concept of agency and self determination with her later...

“So... find me shelter, then?”

Dark Verdict’s blue eyes glowed as she grinned, looking more inhuman than she had since she’d materialized. The air around the two of them prickled with an odd energy that made the hair on the back of Yvette’s neck rise up, and Yvette wondered just how little she understood about this magnificent person that had been Nidhogg’s tool. “Your wish is my command, daring. Just until you loose track of that sword, that is.”

Nidhogg Remini

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