Latest Posts by night-fall-moon - Page 3

Rain

Sirius Black x fem! reader

[Marauders Era]

Summary: Y/n has been in love with James for years, watching painfully from the side-lines as he failed to woo Lily. When they finally get together she finds comfort in her best friend, as time passes she finds herself falling for him but will it end up the same way or will she get her happy ending this time?

Warnings: unrequited love, heartbreak, swearing, Marlene and Dorca stealing the show, mentions of alcohol, drinking and sex

A/n: 15k words, reader is in the same year as the marauders, she’s a marauder and a Gryffindor, bit slow burn, it’s a long one so get comfy and enjoy I’m quite proud of this one so please let me know what you think xx

y/m/n – your marauder name 

Navigation | Sirius Black Masterlist

You couldn’t pinpoint the moment you fell for him, you had been friends for years but slowly your feelings began to drift from platonic to romantic

You ran into James and Sirius on the first day, being sorted into Gryffindor alongside them, you never forgot the first prank you pulled with them which ended up in you climbing up a tree to elude Flitch. Soon after that you met Peter and Remus and the five of you became inseparable as the years went by. 

At first you giggled with your friends at James’ infatuation with Lily, teasing him with Sirius constantly. As you grew older you still teased him but not to the same degree as before, the others assumed you were just growing out of it, much like you stopped calling Snape, Snivellus, near the end of 2nd year, although that was readopted after he called Lily a mudblood in 5th year.

It wasn’t until you came back for your 6th year you started to feel a dull ache in your heart when you heard James gush over Lily or when he would be heartbroken after being rejected once again, resulting in you or Sirius hugging him and Remus having to give him some of his chocolate. Eventually Peter came up with the idea of having a special ‘James was rejected again’ stash since Remus was going stir crazy with him taking all his chocolate.

The ache in your chest only grew, it wasn’t until one afternoon you were sitting reading with Remus as James, Sirius and Peter all were working on the map that it hit you. You remembered it clearly, he looked up at you, flashed his stunning smile and it hit you like a ton of bricks.

You felt your heart crack over and over again, the worst part about it all was you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at either them. Lily was wonderful, perfect in every way James described, as for him it wasn’t his fault he didn’t like you like that so you let yourself suffer in silence, heart crumble piece by piece, making the mistake of allowing yourself to hope that one day James might give up on Lily and see you were there the whole time.

Keep reading

annoying.

pairing - james potter x slytherin!reader

summary - james potter has a crush on you, but you don't feel the same way. or do you?

trope/tags - friends to lovers (kind of), grumpy x sunshine (again, kind of), fluff

word count - 8.5k

warnings - language, mentions of sex

lowercase intended!!

the very first time james tried to get your attention was in your second year at hogwarts. he could not recall the exact moment he realised that he would do quite literally anything for you, even if it meant that he would have to die, but he knew for sure that you were the one he was meant to be with. remus thought he was being a bit dramatic, he was only twelve, for merlin's sake, what does he know about love, but james paid no mind to his worries and complaints. sirius, of course, supported him, and peter simply just trailed along hoping that they will make it out alive. why? well, you were a slytherin.

you were having lunch in the great hall with your peers like every other day. barty was acting like his usual joker self. which, frankly, was not his smartest idea, considering the blaringly obvious fact that everybody was eating and a choking hazard comes in package with laughing while chewing. no one really batted an eye, though. pandora was barely holding herself together, and evan was miserably failing at keeping a straight face. regulus was rather unphased and continued shoving pieces of beef into his mouth, but not while secretly chuckling at the stupid faces barty was making. you and dorcas, being the oldest ones, attempted to calm them all down, but your worries went on deaf ears. regardless, you were having a wonderful time, blissfully unaware of what your life was about to turn into.

"oi, l/n!" the laughter around you faded away and everybody's focus was now shifted to james standing at the entrance of the great hall.

"is that potter?" pandora wiped her tears away and rose up from her seat to see the show which was about to unfold. you furrowed your eyebrows as you slipped away into thought, picturing all sorts of possible terrifying scenarios, because why the hell was he addressing you all of a sudden? out of all people? and so loudly? you'd only ever spoken to him in potions class the previous year when slughorn assigned you to work together.

it was all very confusing and you weren't sure what to make of it.

you panicked when james started walking towards you and failed to notice the way your friends sniggered at the way your face went completely pale, just like that. he slipped into the empty spot next to you, smiling while he was waiting for your reaction. gasps left the mouths of multiple slytherins at the table, and your eyes widened in horror when you recieved dirty looks from snape and his peers. they were certainly going to terorise you and your friends for that.

it took you a few seconds, but you managed to connect the dots in your head. those sudden behavioural changes whenever you passed him in the corridors, the all but subtle glances he would send your way, the smiles, that weird twinkle in his eyes - everything suddenly made sense, as much as you hated to admit it. james potter had a crush on you, and he finally mustered up the courage to do something about it. and in the stupidest way possible.

"hello." you tried sound as polite as you possibly could despite wanting him to give him a hard push to the floor. you were everything but delighted by his presence, and restored to picking at the food in your plate without sparing him a second glance. regulus let out a snort.

"can i ask you something?" he leaned forward on the table with his hand supporting his chin. he was way too enthusiastic for your comfort and you wanted him gone.

"uh, alright, i guess." you shrugged lazily, biting the inside of your cheek in distress. part of you felt like you should let him speak; what if it was school related? potter was smart, and you could use some help on your transfiguration essays. the other part of you, however, was just about ready to strangle you.

"wanna be my girlfriend?" he smiled stupidly and it was followed by hollering and cheering from his friends, including your own. the students at the gryffindor table all appeared to have a million questions running through their minds, and your fellow housemates were not very pleased - not only did he ruin their lunch, but he was a gryffindor. and top of it, he was james potter.

you did a double-take. your mouth fell open in surprise. this was exactly what you feared.

"what?! no!" you whisper-yelled, petrified by his offer. your face was on fire, and not because you were flattered by his words, but purely out of embarrassment. barty and evan dissolved into laughter.

"okay, then how about a date first?" he was persistent and you moved away from him by instinct, only to have dorcas push you forward and towards him.

"no! go away!" you hissed, mortified, and turned your face away from him to hide the fact that it was burning. you almost reached for your wand and hexed them both.

"i have a book with some cool jinxes that i can teach you! it'll be fun! please!" he kept pushing, his eyes sparkling with hope. you swore you felt like smoke was about to come bursting out of your ears. regulus reached from behind dorcas and tapped your back in a comforting manner, but you did not miss the way he smirked after he retrieved his hand.

"teach me?! do you think i'm stupid?!" you snapped, finally whipping your head in james' direction with rage evident on your face.

"i thought you wanted to learn the– ow!" you kicked barty in the shin from under the table. the sudden impact made everybody's plates shake. "hey, i almost spilled my soup!"

"come on, y/n! please!" he decided to shoot his shot one more time, this time with puppy eyes, and a sodding pout, but you refused to give in. nothing in the world could have made you say yes to james bloody potter.

"no." you said sternly, crossing your arms and not allowing yourself to look in his direction again.

"fine! but just so you know, i'm not giving up," he stood up, it was amusing to you how unaffected he was by your rejection. he was as enthusiastic as he was when he first took a seat next to you, "i'm gonna make you mine."

***

and james kept his promise. the next several years at hogwarts became certainly memorable. getting rejected bruised the gryffindor boy's ego, so he was determined to prove himself to you and became quite a little show off. he was awfully cocky, and to top it all off, he did the absolute stupidest things to try and impress you - from jinxing snape after he heard him berate you for messing up a potion, to straight up helping you cheat in transfiguration class and getting himself a year's worth of detentions. he was a gentleman, though, and didn't try to pressure you into going out with him after you made it clear that you did not want to. as much as he adored you, he never went out of his way to actually do something that would cause you discomfort. no, that was his biggest nightmare.

funny enough, it was also why your hatred for him began fading away, and very unfortunately for you, there was no going back. you really had no true reason to dislike him as much as you did, which only made you loathe him even more. truth be told, you felt bad, and that was what you hated the most.

after james' terribly unsuccessful attempt at asking you out, things became rather awkward and you did everything in your power to avoid him. you despised him, or so you told yourself. your friends were sure you did, you spoke about him with so much venom in your voice that pandora thought they'd have to lock you up to stop you from using a forbidden curse on him. but then somehow, the two of you formed a strange sort of relationship, one would even call it friendship - james would randomly wind up in the same places you (he'd always claim that it was only coincidental), but you wouldn't chase him away. yeah, you'd be mean to him, obviously, and any normal person would probably cry, but he was enjoying it, because, well, it was you. when you grew closer to the gryffindor girls, mary macdonald managed to open your eyes and you saw that james wasn't the creep you assumed he was. so, you warmed up to him, and by some strange miracle, stopped completely loathing him and his presence.

though you still found him completely, utterly and unbearably annoying.

"oi, l/n! what you up to?" he showed up in the astronomy tower where you were reading one gloomy afternoon. regulus must have told him where you were, looks like someone's sleeping on the floor tonight. the lake seemed like a perfect place to drop a bed into at times. it's not that you didn't want james there, it's just that you didn't want to see anybody at that particular moment. you had grown to love colder weekends. they were the perfect excuse to avoid any unwanted trips to hogsmeade that would usually lead to you getting in trouble because barty had a habit of setting off a dozen dungbombs to poke at mulciber and snape. as satisfying as it was, you had gotten enough detentions that year and you weren't exactly prepared to receive another howler.

so, you just couldn't miss out on the perfect opportunity to go up into the astronomy tower and read in the peaceful atmosphere. it had always been much calmer up there compared to the other parts of hogwarts.

"reading." you replied flatly, returning your gaze back to the text in front of you. or at least you pretended to do so. no matter how hard you tried, you could not focus again, so you kept your eyes on the same sentence while you waited for him to do something. for a moment, you wondered what he had been up to before he found you. he peeked over your shoulder to take a better look at the writing.

you did not say a word, and you realised that if you sat there pretending to read while waiting for him to leave you alone would most likely take hours, so you continued trailing your eyes over the letters, and got lost in the story once again.

what you didn't notice is that he got invested too, completely by accident. it wasn't james' intention to come down there and read with you, he wasn't even sure what you were up to and all he wanted was to see you, but there he was, reading from behind your shoulder in the tranquil ambient of the tower.

it was when he suddenly asked you to wait before flipping the page that you realised he had been reading with you all along, and you squinted your eyes at him with a glint of curiosity in them.

"what are you doing?" you quiered. the sudden shift in the atmosphere took him off guard a bit, and he gulped when you locked your eyes with his own.

"reading?"

"didn't know that was a synonym for being an annoying little git."

"i'm not that bad." he defended himself, trying to look back at the letters. you scoffed.

"i thought you hated books." you hid the writing away from his gaze and quirked an eyebrow in amusement.

"i don't hate them. i just prefer not to read." he responded, sounding a lot more cocky than intended which drew a chuckle from you.

"way to impress a girl." you rolled your eyes.

"i am professional at it." you laughed in his face.

"at least you're honest," you shrugged, he furrowed his eyebrows in puzzlement, "merlin, are you daft? what i mean is, you're staying true to yourself. not pretending that you enjoy something just to sweep me off my feet. it's admirable."

"of course i am! i could never lie to you. you're the most beautiful creature i have ever beheld in my sight." you let out an exaggerated sound of disgust, pressing your palm against his face and pushing him away, "lay off, romeo."

"oh!" he stood up suddenly, putting his hand over his heart dramatically and looking up, "with love’s light wings did i o’erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out. " he glanced back at you. you guffawed, looking at him in bewilderment, "where on earth have you managed to hear that?"

"watched romeo and juliet in the theatre during holidays." you cocked an eyebrow at him. never would you have thought that james potter was the one who'd take interest in muggle literature and films. "got a favourite scene?"

james pursed his lips in thought. "the morning after." he wiggled his eyebrows and sat back down.

"that's disgusting." you laughed.

"i'm only joking, i think the balcony one would be my favourite. i'd say it's very romantic," he shrugged with a sly smirk, "and it also made me feel the least emotional pain, if you know what i mean." he put a hand to his chest for dramatic effect and sighed.

"oh, merlin." you rolled your eyes playfully, letting out a snigger at his act. "look, i'm gonna be straightforward with you right now," you began. james sat up straight. you held back a laugh, poor fool probably thinks you'll return his sorry little feelings.

"you're not nearly as distasteful as i thought you were." you poked his arm. james looked a bit perplexed, almost as if he was expecting something more (which he was).

but then he laughed breathlessly, seeming more proud than disappointed. you couldn't help but chuckle. he bit the inside of his cheek in thought as he took in the sight of you, wondering how in the hell he got so lucky to know you. you may not feel the same way, but you surely make his life seem like an utopia, even though you're quite mean to him.

"continue, please." he reached over your arm to turn the page. you were rather intrigued by whatever that was.

"hold on for a second. why are you here, exactly?" you leaned forward to prop your chin in the palm of your hand, observing his face attentively as he scratched the back of his neck in thought.

"i guess i wanted to see you." he responded honestly.

"and there i was hoping you had something exciting to tell me." he chuckled lowly. you had come to notice that his voice was getting deeper. it wasn't high pitched and annoying anymore, definitely a lot less infuriating.

"wait, i didn't finish–" he tried to stop you before you could turn the page. "sorry, guess you gotta read faster."

"that isn't fair."

"i beg to differ."

"you're so not cool."

"then why d'you keep pining over me?" james opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. he huffed and crossed his arms. you smiled in victory, laughing when he stuck his tongue out at you.

***

by the end of year four, you had read about ten books together. he even read muggle poetry to you in the hospital wing when you got sick, which, to nobody's surprise, lead to what seemed like never-ending teasing from barty and evan (who were also james' biggest hypemen aside from the marauders). when you looked back at it a few years later, you realised that it was the moment when your first romantic feelings for him started blooming, though you would have never admitted it at the stubborn and rebellious age of fourteen. you were headstrog, a bit in denial as pandora liked to say, and top of it off, you were hard to please. in between all of that was james, who wasn't subtle about being head over heels for you in the least bit, and who would have done anything to get your attention. a match made in heaven, really.

you loved to tease him about it. he sometimes wondered why he had to be the one to fall in love with you. that's where the worst part of it all came in; feeling insecure, comparing himself to his friends, secretly wishing he was sirius (since all the gryffindor heartthrob had to do to win a girl over was to wink in her direction) and an existential crisis as an extra in the package. you clearly were never interested in him, and he couldn't help but think you never would be. sometimes, all he was doing seemed pointless, but he kept telling himself that one day you'll love him the way he loves you.

when your fifth year rolled around, you thought he would've dropped the act by then. you had matured over the summer, or at least you believed you had, and you assumed he had too. you had what some may call a summer romance with some stupid muggle boy, and to everybody's surprise, you were the one to break his heart after realising that whatever you felt for him wasn't love. a little something was stopping you from loving him and you may or may not have attempted to obliviate yourself in order to forget about james. obviously, you failed. stupid idiot.

the entirety of your holidays, you kept wondering if james had got over you, or if he was more lucky than you when it came vacation romance. you thought about him meeting a girl who actually cared for him and returned his feelings instead of teasing him, a girl that could have made him forget you completely, a girl who he had a happy ending with. you rather hated the mere thought of that. thinking about it caused an unexplainable ache in your heart.

much to your own delight, you were totally wrong.

however, things were not the same as they were the three previous years. you two became almost inseparable. dorcas kept teasing james, calling him a thief, saying he took her best friend from her. he would play along, tease her back, and tell her that he's a better best friend anyway. it made your heart flutter in a disgustingly sweet way.

you hated the way he made you feel. you hated the way you wanted to see him more often instead of avoiding him. you hated the way he smiled at you. you hated the way he tried to make you more comfortable by pointing out that you are indeed just friends. you hated james potter, yet you couldn't get enough of him.

you would never admit it, though, no. he was still that stupid little boy who offered to teach you jinxes, that idiot who chased snape away from you like a proper knight in a shining armour, that tosser who's voice was still cracking when you read together in the tower, that adorable–

"do you fancy going to hogsmeade with me tonight?" james appeared from behind you the moment you exited the classroom after finishing with ancient runes.

"studying, sorry." you shrugged, pulling out a piece of parchment to remind yourself which class you had next. "really? that's more important than me?" he sighed in disappointment, trotting after you as you began making your way over to the transfiguration classroom.

"who said you're important to me?" you smirked and looked over your shoulder. he flipped you off with a playful eyeroll, chuckling at the way you looked so proud of yourself for that comment. "i'll meet you at the portrait at six." you added.

the two of you entered the classroom, laughing over some horrible joke he cracked on the way. you took your usual seat next to dorcas who shot you a funny look the moment you stepped through the door.

"what?" you deadpanned before slamming your book onto the table and flipping through the pages. "care to explain?"

"explain what?" you scrunched your face up at the amused look on her face.

"twat," she slapped your shoulder, "you and potter?" dorcas motioned her head towards him, and you looked his way to find him scribbling something down into sirius' book. he looked up just in time to meet your eyes and sent a smile your way. you grinned back and turned to your friend again.

"what about me and him?" you weren't quite sure where she was getting at with whatever the hell this was. she knew your relationship with james was platonic with a capital p, simple as that. she laughed in your face.

"dorcas! don't be ridiculous, he's only my friend." you leaned back in your seat, profusely blushing and crossing your arms over your chest. everybody knew that you and james were just friends. nothing more.

"i think you better tell him that." lily turned in her seat to face to you. mary, who was sitting next to her, only nodded her head which confirmed that she wasn't on your side either. and neither was marlene who looked rather amused observing you from the table next to yours. of course she wasn't, the fact that she fancied dorcas was more obvious than she thought.

"oh, please. he even calls himself my best friend, you lot are delusional."

"fuck, y/n, you're hopeless." dorcas groaned, exchanging some disappointed glances with the gryffindor girls. she let her head fall down onto the table in frustration. you scoffed, averting your eyes to james and keeping them there for a while.

that was how the rest of your fifth year went; you and james being friendly, him asking you to accompany him on some stupid adventures he often came up with, you playing hard to get, but agreeing to hang out in the end. all of that would usually be followed by dorcas'... and pandora's... and lily's... and pretty much everybody's pointless attempts to talk some sense into your head. you would brush them off, saying he's just a nice bloke who's nobody but just a good pal of yours. you even said it to sirius.

and all of you knew that wasn't true.

***

soon enough, you began your sixth year and james was starting to lose his mind. he was so in love with you, he could barely keep a calm act around you. hiding it became a lot more difficult. he was convinced that you thought he was over you, because why on earth would somebody still be friends with a person who rejected them and showed zero interest in a romantic relationship? he felt miserable. he wanted you by his side, but just friendship wasn't enough to ease the ache in his heart. one thing was for sure, and that was that he had to talk to you.

he needed to let you know that he still loved you, and pour out all of his feelings if it was necessary. he thought that if you rejected him again, he would drop the whole thing and really, truly settle for just being friends, and that is, if you end up wanting anything to do with him. it would be difficult, getting over you. it would hurt, coming to terms with it all would be an absolute nightmare. he would be heartbroken without a doubt, but he believed he could manage it if he tried hard enough. lies.

very conveniently, you and james got into a bit of trouble that day. that was a well-known concept to you both. neither of you completed your major muggle studies essay on time, hell, you hadn't even started with yours, so you decided to do the only rational thing. which was to ditch the class.

it was nerve-wracking, sneaking through the corridors and trying to avoid getting caught by mrs. norris, or filch, maybe even by a professor, but you managed to make it to the grand staircase. you thought you were going to succeed, you were so close, but surprise, surprise - you were caught by bloody dumbledore himself. instead of cooperating, you tried to make a run for it and hide in a broomstick closet, just in time for filch to catch you.

task failed successfully.

you weren't sure how you managed to dodge getting forbidden from going to hogsmeade or even leaving the school premise, as that was the punishment you both expected to get for running away from the headmaster, but you were more than grateful that the man settled for simply giving you detention.

"do you fancy going for a walk by the lake tonight?" you questioned when you finished cleaning the floor of the potions classroom after your poor attempt at skipping muggle studies.

"what?" james mumbled incoherently, bending over to pick up some crumpled up parchment under one of the seats.

"that was a yes or no question." you crossed your arms. you weren't sure where you were getting all of the confidence from, but you settled for blaming in on james and his self-assuring personality which had quite the influence on you, even though you willingly began spending a little too much time with him. you cursed mentally.

"wait, huh?" he stopped what he was doing, looking rather confused.

"was i not clear enough?" you rolled your eyes in a teasing manner.

"you're asking me to hang out?" his entire face lit up, a hopeful smile found its way to his lips. "yeah, silly, that's what friends do," you scoffed, though you were slightly crumbling on the inside, "so don't you dare treat it as a date." you quickly added, fixing your stance and straighteing your back to come off more relaxed. regardless of your shitty attempt at trying to pretend you were disinterested in him, james looked like he just won the lottery.

"of course." he scrambled to clean up the rest of the mess under the seats as fast as possible. he could not believe you. it truly seemed like he the odds were in his favour that day. just when he was planning on giving up and destroying everything, that simple question restored all the hope he had lost. that was the first time you asked him to hang out. it was usually him initiating everything. you quietly giggled at his overjoyed reaction, and a strange feeling washed over you. you ignored it, all of it, and settled for avoiding his gaze as much as you could for the last thirty minutes of detention.

eight o'clock rolled around so fast you could barely keep track of it. you were in a state of disarray - nervous, panicking and desperately trying to come up with some excuse you haven't used to brush james off before just so that you didn't have to show up. but that would be stupid, wouldn't it? you were the one who wanted to hang out. dorcas, evan, barty, regulus and even pandora were laughing at you, showing no signs of wanting to help you and refusing to give you any form of emotional support whatsoever.

"what great friends you are." you remarked sarcastically, pulling the first jumper you saw in your trunk over your head.

"isn't that his?" barty smirked devilishly, scanning the clothing item with his eyes. you furrowed your eyebrows, looking down just to see that the gryffindor jumper you put on did not in fact belong to you. your eyes went wide. all five of your friends convulsed with laughter when you scrambled to take it off. evan fell off of dorcas' bed right onto the hard floorboards.

"i don't know how it got here, but i swear it's not what you think!" regulus was clutching his stomach after joining evan on the floor, and you threw the jumper right in his face. pandora wiped some tears away with the sleeve of her shirt and then quietly chuckled again as she was trying to stop any more tears from coming.

"i will strangle you all, i'm not joking." you lifted your hands up in frustration, stomping back to your trunk and this time taking a shirt you were sure was yours.

"oh, c'mon, we're only teasing you," dorcas stood up, walking over to where you were and hugging you from behind, "i'm sure the laundry got mixed up." barty trailed off, and you could see him holding back a grin.

"right, but," dorcas pulled away from you and began walking backwards towards the door, "it would be quite romantic if you kept it after a nice shag, wouldn't it?"

"dorcas!" you screeched, and she was out of your reach before you even made it halfway towards the door. your friends burst into giggles again, or what was left of them, as evan and regulus were half-dead. you were a blushing mess, and you left your room resembling an angry child who was moments away from throwing a tantrum, but not without james' quidditch jumper in your hands.

you didn't notice the strange looks you were given by the students you passed by in the dungeons. you looked furious, with your jaw clenched and your face beet red, all while holding onto something which belonged to a certain dark-haired gryffindor. your thoughts did not seem to go in that direction even once. you could think of nothing but james.

the mere thought of him made you feel strange. it was a feeling that wasn't too familiar to you, but you had quite clear of an idea of what it could be and it was devouring you. simply looking at him made you feel giddy. his smile would make your heart jump. the light brush of his shoulder against yours would make you shiver. you were in love. but boy were you stubborn.

"who hurt you?" you stopped in your tracks when you heard james' voice come from behind you. you met his warm gaze. there it was, that flutter in your heart again. you blamed his smile for it. you almost cringed at yourself, you were so preoccupied by thinking of him that you failed to acknowledge his actual presence.

was he always that attractive? his eyes are so pretty. how's his skin that perfect? god, his lips look-

your swallowed harshly, feeling heat rush to your cheeks and the handsome boy standing in front of you gave you a questioning look. you cleared your throat before handing him his jumper.

"i found this in my trunk." you looked down in embarrassment, crossing your arms and fiddling with a loose thread on the sleeve of your shirt.

"oh!" he took it from your hands, his jaw fell slack, "how did that - there must've been mix up with the laundry."

"probably." you replied dryly, avoiding his gaze. "won't you be cold?" he questioned when he noticed how light the shirt you had on looked. the sleeves reached your elbows, the material was almost see through and certainly not suitable for chilly autumn weather.

"i'll manage." you shrugged lazily, looking down at the floor. those old tiles seemed rather amusing all of a sudden. 

"put it on." you lifted your head. you looked at the clothing item, then at james. you sighed and reached for the soft material. "thanks," you mumbled under your breath, holding the jumper close to your chest in a tightening grip, "should we go now? or are we just gonna stand here like idiots?" you put on a smile, hoping it would look convincing enough and hide the embarrassing fact that you were nervous. really nervous. first date nervous. you may have had to remind yourself that that little hangout of yours was supposed to platonic. friendly. not romantic. definitely not a date with that boy who's life goal was to win you over because he was desperately in love with you. and he fucking succeeded.

you lost track of time. neither of you knew how many hours had passed or how long you'd been sitting at the shore, lost in conversations about something that may seem so irrelevant to the ears of others, but so important to the two of you. you found comfort in being able to open up to james. it was different than talking to dorcas, or evan, or any of your other friends. it warmed your heart, and in a strange way, it felt like home.

you only realised how late it had gotten when the sky above you turned dark and became covered with stars. finishing that date off with stargazing would have been a delight, but rain decided to make an unexpected visit and ruined your good plans.

you retreated inside together through one of the passageways james and the other three marauders managed to discover, tippy toeing your way through the corridors in attempt to go unseen and unheard. you successfully made it through the portrait hole without alerting a prefect, and you stepped through the door of james' room, sighing in relief. james could finally release the breath he was holding all the way down from the lake. that was one of the rare times he didn't fail at sneaking around without his cloak. you celebrated a tad bit too soon, though - the high pitched voice of a seventh year girl who was supposed to keep the peace at night came from behind you, and you froze in your spot. james gulped, making eye contact with you before turning to face her.

"potter, what on earth are you doing outside at this hour?" james laughed uncomfortably, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie as he tried to come up with an excuse, "i was uh," he let out a cough, making the prefect eye him suspiciously, "i was using the bathroom."

"why aren't you wearing your pyjamas?"

"i was busy doing, uhm, something else, y'know, forgot to change and stuff."

"and what is that thing that you were doing, exactly?"

"i don't really think you'd wanna know." he grinned in misery, and you had to slap your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from making any sounds. the girl's eyes widened as she realised what the younger meant. she turned beet red and massaged her temples in frustration.

"merlin's beard, oh, fuck– shit! get out of my sight, we'll pretend this never happened. shoo, leave."

"sorry." he gave her one last awkward smile before sliding into his room, slamming the door shut and leaning against it. "remind me not to do that ever again."

"why not? that was pretty hilarious." you snickered at his demeanor - the boy's cheeks were flushed red from embarrassment.

"that poor girl probably thinks i was wanking in there." he groaned, waddled away from the door and slumped down onto his bed. the springs in the mattress squeaked from the impact. "if i don't get kicked out this year, then i must be a walking felix fucking felicis." he continued rambling as he began digging through the mess under his bed.

"where are your friends?" you looked around the room curiously. the other marauders were nowhere to be seen. "they're sleeping in the girls dormitory tonight."

you hummed as you took a seat on the floor beside him and eyed some of the items he had scattered around. a couple of chocolate frogs, some crumpled pieces of parchment and quills, a few records, and an empty bag of whatever the hell he got at zonko's next to a small stack of books. "so, what do we do now?" you looked his way, and he shrugged as he ducked under his bed, with only his legs peeking out. the action drew a snort from you. he dusted himself off as he dove back from under the bed.

"can you help me out?" he scratched the back of his head.

"what are we looking for here, exactly?" you questioned as you peeked underneath. "no clue. i'm trying to find something fun we can do."

"have you still got that book about jinxes?" james blinked in surprise. "with the ones i offered to teach you, what, like four years ago?" he gave you an amused smile.

"yeah, figured i should make up for breaking your heart or whatever." and definitely not because you realised that it was a perfect date idea. definitely not.

"i might, if sirius hasn't snatched it." he shrugged and then you both started digging through the dark and dusty mess of books, boxes and smelly socks.

"is this," your hand grabbed onto something which felt like a glass bottle, "muggle alcohol?!" you laughed at the way james' face went pale.

"i swear that's not mine!" he immediately defended himself, reaching for the bottle desperately.

"no need to lie, potter, i've a fair share of that stashed under my bed as well."

by two in the morning, both of you were absolutely pissed, but had no intention of stopping until the bottle was completely empty. so much for the jinxes.

"have you ever shagged somebody?" it was strange. the alcohol seemed to have effects similar to what was known as the veritaserum. so apart from the constant laughing fits it gave you, it made you both feel rather confident. so confident you kept spilling out truths and secrets not even your friends knew. and, well, it made you flirty. especially yourself. just a few hours ago, you were freaked out by the mere thought of getting involved romantically with the boy in front of you, but now you were shamelessly asking each other questions about your love lives. not to mention that you managed to lose your clothes in the process. james was shirtless, and you lost your trousers.

"how dare you ask me such a question?" james gasped dramatically, drawing a snort from you, "i reckon your body count is higher than mine."

"are you calling me a slut, potter?" you asked in amusement, he shrugged lazily with a smirk on his lips, "no, i'm calling you more attractive than myself."

"why thank you, my dear friend," you smiled, feeling another surge of confidence shoot through you after receiving the drunken compliment. friend. that word suddenly sounded strange.

"i haven't." james finally spoke after a few moments of silence. that little soberity you had left was what held you back from smiling.

"me neither." james bit his tongue. he felt like he could breathe normally, at last. you were relieved, and so was he.

"virgins." he let himself fall back onto the floor. you scoffed, snatching the bottle out of his hand.

by the time the sun had started to rise, you were fast asleep - james sitting down with his back up against the wall, and you on the floor with his jumper posing as your pillow. james was lucky that lily and the girls agreed to take in his three idiot friends that night because he would have had to deal with endless teasing if they had been present.

the sound of a loud knock on the door shook you both awake, and your head was met with the bottom of sirius' bed when you tried to sit up. you groaned out in pain, letting your head fall down onto the red jumper that smelled of that specific vanilla-scented bodywash only james used. you hated how you loved it.

"potter!" dorcas' voice pierced through the door from the other side, and the boy groggily sat up, making his way over to the door. the hangover headache was unbearable, but it was something he could have expected as an aftermath of last night's turn of events. the whiskey bottle lied empty on the floor. he wasn't sure how either of you managed it, but he woke up to a clean floor, and no stomach-turning stench of vomit.

"you knocked?" he leaned against the doorframe, his vision a bit blurry as he barely had time to think or grab his glasses after being woken up so suddenly.

"have you by any chance seen y/n?"

he wordlessly opened the door wider, and a very exhausted, hungover looking creature came into dorcas' view.

"what's this?" dorcas smirked, resting her hands on her hips.

"uh, a friendly hangout? what else? wait, where are my trousers?" you murmured, not quite sure of what you were stating as your brain hadn't woken up properly just yet. the piercingly painful headache was not helping.

"friendly, huh?" she eyed you both with a hint of mischief in her eyes. "yes, friendly." james confirmed.

dorcas sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with her pointer finger and thumb. she felt a migrane incoming. you tiredly stood up from the cold floor, feeling a wave of pain shoot through your back from lying on such a hard surface. "goddammit, remind me to sleep on the bed next time." you winced, stretching in attempt to soothe the pain.

dorcas left, with marlene trailing along with her (to nobody's surprise), after you and james decided to head down to the kitchen to ask the house elves for some leftovers from breakfast since you missed it. you were lucky that the elves loved you both, and you were given a few pieces of toast as well as some strawberry jam.

you sat in the gryffindor common room, quietly chatting with james. mary and remus joined you and they took their seats in the chairs in the corner of the room, along with sirius who claimed that sitting in between remus' legs was more comfortable than any armchair. you and james, however, were squashed together on the sofa. you recieved several questioning looks from other students. not necessarily because you were a slytherin in the gryffindor common room, but because you sat so close to one another. you were practically sitting in his lap. someone unaware of the status of your relationship would have assumed you were dating. james' friends noticed too, but decided not to say anything, though they couldn't hide those proud smiles that found their ways to their lips.

***

you could not stop thinking about that night for days. and you did everything you could to forget about it. you drowned yourself in school work just to wipe the thought of it out of your mind. hell, you did extra credit. you even bullied pandora into being a model for your paintings for two weeks straight, and went as far as to make yourself accompany barty on his daily adventures where he was essentially begging for detention. but nothing was helping. that was the best date of your life. not like you had many to chose from, but it was the best. shit.

"oh, for fuck's sake! it was not a date! shut up!" you said to yourself, or to be more specific, your malfunctioning brain. you were speed-walking through the corridors, your breath uneven and cheeks red.

you came back from the gryffindor dormitories to the dungeons after another friendly hangout with james. all those things you did to forget about the first one ended up seeming rather pointless. much to your dismay, you realised you can't go too long without seeing him, as it turned out. the boy successfully found his way into your heart after all those years. and you didn't even know why. well, him being james potter should be enough of an explanation. you were visibly flushed. dorcas raised both of her eyebrows once she saw you and then fell back into her pillow, shaking with laughter.

"oh merlin, you are so red." she pointed at your face, giggling uncontrollably.

"great observation skills, meadowes." you responded sarcastically, pulling james' jumper over your head and tossing it onto your bed. yes, you forgot (read: didn't want) to return it, and no, he didn't mind because he wanted you to have it.

"where's everyone?" you quickly changed the subject. you were not ready to talk about whatever the hell your relationship with james was at that moment. you were pretty sure you wouldn't ever be ready to talk about it.

"well, regulus is probably throwing snape into the lake. again. barty and evan are surely snogging somewhere and i think pandora went for a poo, but i'm not sure." dorcas shrugged. her eyes didn't leave you, which obviously meant she was curious about what happened while you were gone. of course she was, she was one of your best friends after all. one of them, just like james. she may have got strange thrills from teasing you, but she cared about you and she made sure you knew that. so did the rest of your friends, even though they were all out and about in that given moment.

you sighed, covering your face with your hands. you felt guilty - not because you were in love with james, hell no, but because it took you so long to admit it to yourself. you never once thought of his feelings or what you've been putting him through for all those years. the first time you felt a bit different while he was by your side, you chalked it up to some weird feelings of admiration and tried to forget about it. but then it just kept happening, and you couldn't simply brush it off and pretend it's nothing. you weren't even sure why you kept lying to yourself; maybe it was because you were so set on the two of you being just friends, maybe it was because you got so used to his presence and his embarassingly obvious eagerness that you couldn't imagine living your life without all of that in it.

tears welled up in your eyes, and you bit the inside of your cheek to prevent any sounds from escaping. dorcas was not as oblivious as you thought she might be. she could immediately tell something was wrong and she rushed over to your side, wrapping her arms around you until you were comfortable enough to speak.

"dorcas, i'm in love with him," you cried, clutching her shirt as she held you close to her chest. "i know, darling." she sighed.

"i'm such a bloody idiot."

"i would usually say that's not true, but i don't really think i'd be doing either of us a favour if i denied it." that drew a laugh from you, but you quickly returned to your messy state. dorcas kept rubbing comforting circles into your back until your shoulders stopped shaking and you were able to speak properly without breaking out into tears again.

"am i an awful person?" you quiered, staring into what seemed like a void to you. you looked lifeless, and dorcas sighed, putting her hand on your knee.

"y/n, we both know you aren't. and james knows that too."

"but what if i am? dorcas, i hurt him. i treated him like a puppet and i never took his feelings seriously."

"well, i can't argue that," she bit the inside of her cheek, "but you know, you couldn't have exactly done much about it. you can't just force yourself to love somebody. and some people take a while to come to terms with their feelings, and that's okay, so don't you dare blame yourself for that. he's still in love with you, anyway."

"i could have just not befriended him." you picked at your nails as you spoke.

"that wouldn't have helped him much, would it?"

"it wouldn't make him feel as miserable."

"maybe, but you'd break his heart either way and the poor bloke would probably still feel the same. look, he was annoying as shit, and you may have been a bit, well–"

"evil?" you interrupted. she covered your mouth with her hand. you blinked in surprise and she laughed at you.

"alright, yeah, but y/n, don't you think you could fix that now? you know, do something about it at last?"

"don't make me make you, 'cause you might be the next person to get dunked into the lake. i'm feeling particularly ruthless today." regulus suddenly appeared at the door, leaning against it with his arms crossed.

"how long have you been standing there?" you spoke once dorcas retrieved her hand.

"just got here, actually."

"as i was saying," dorcas raised her voice and then put a finger over her mouth to motion for regulus to shut up. he raised his hands up in defeat, "do what you need to do."

"you know what's tomorrow though, right?" regulus interrupted once again. you and dorcas exchanged confused glances, but her face shifted into something that seemed more amused than questioning.

***

"oi, potter!" you pushed open the door of the great hall. the laughter around james faded away and everybody's focus was now shifted to you standing at the entrance, but you were looking for one person's eyes in particular.

it didn't take you very long to find them. james' surprised gaze met your rather nervous one, and you made your way towards the gryffindor table, just like he skipped over to the slytherin one four years ago.

you slid into the empty spot next to him and smiled while you were waiting for him to say something. just like last time, you failed to notice the way all of the students around you chuckled as they watched the show unfold. all because of you and james, yet again.

"hello." he sat up straight, holding back a smile that wanted to make its way to his lips.

despite being friends for all those years, you never once had the chance to sit next to each other at lunch, other than that one particular day in your second year. so he took the sudden change in your behaviour as a good sign, especially after the events of the previous night, and the night at the lake.

"can i ask you something?" you leaned forward on the table with your hand supporting your chin. james furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, and then his mouth fell open in surprise. he laughed breathlessly, shaking his head at your teasing smile.

"go ahead." he shrugged. his eyes haven't left you since you entered the great hall. it was not making your job easier, but you weren't gonna let that pretty face of his stop you from doing what you came to do.

"wanna be my boyfriend?" you smiled stupidly and it was followed by hollering and wooing from all of the students at the table, including his friends, and your own from behind you, "okay, now sn–" barty was shut up by evan's hand clamping over his mouth before he could finish that. pandora was violently blowing her nose into a tissue already. regulus seemed unphased, even though he wasn't. and dorcas looked like she finally discovered the true meaning of inner peace.

james did a double-take, and then grinned like an absolute idiot. you were furiously tapping your foot against the tiles, but froze when he cupped your cheek with his hand.

"can i kiss you?" you nodded, biting your lip to hold back the squeal that was threatening to escape. james was glowing. he grinned, launching himself forward. his lips finally met yours. your hand instinctively found its way to the back of his neck, pushing him further against you. his lips were so soft, and he kissed you like you were the most precious thing in the world. you could feel each other smiling into the kiss, and you broke apart giggling like two fools.

"is that a yes?" you quiered, just in case.

"oh god, yes." then he kissed you again, only to be pulled back by sirius who had just about enough of the pair of you, "some of us are trying to eat, thank you very much."

"sod off." james smacked the back of his head. he could not care less about what anybody else thought at that moment. sirius shook his head as he exchanged a knowing glance with his own lover, and neither of the boys could be bothered to hide their smiles.

"i wanted to do that for six years." james leaned his forehead against yours. you quickly pecked his lips again. "don't worry, i'll make it up to you."

Moonlight 🌙

Warnings: mentions of implied abuse, bruises, cuts, scars

Soft knocks were heard at the dark wooden door. Sleepily the blonde got up to answer the door already knowing who it was. He opened the door revealing an injured girl. Her strawberry hair covering her puffy tear stained face. He gently helped her up as she muttered a soft 'thank you' at the male. He placed her down on the tan couch, and quickly scurried to the bathroom where he kept his first aid kit. Once he came back with the supplies, the boy turned his full attention to the girls injuries.

"Your old man again?" He asked even though he already knew the answer.

She hummed quietly not wanting to talk about it. After all this has become a normal routine for the both of them. Her running away, knocking at his door, him tending to her, and letting her stay over at his. The boy sighed and continued to work in the comfortable silence not wanting to push her in her already messed up state.

"The offer's still up you know." He mumbled.

"I don't want to burden you Albedo—and don't even say that I'm not. I'm already wasting your time and medical supplies." She mentioned.

The boy sighed and spoke up, "and how many times have I told you that I don't care spending money on you?"

The girl sighed in defeat knowing that he wouldn't back down. Instead she turned her face away from his and hid it in the couch cushion, returning to being silent. The boy silently continued to work on healing her body, after all having an infected wound is not pleasant.

"Turn your face, I need to see how badly he hurt you." He spoke softly to her.

She didn't move.

"Please?"

Again, she didn't turn to face him. He put the cotton ball down and gently grabbed her face by the chin and turned her face to look at him. When he did so he found her face littered with scars and a few cuts. His eyes trailed down to her lips—quivering in embarrassment. She never wanted him to see her like this again, but alas the world was not in her favor. The boys face softened and quickly averted his gaze to find the cotton ball he had just soaked in hydrogen peroxide quickly muttering a 'this might sting' as he resumed his task.

His face scrunched up in focus, his tongue poking out his lips. His hair fell down his face but he didn't mind. Slowly reaching out, the girl pushed his hair out of his face revealing his big blue eyes. She's seen them up close before multiple times before, but they always look so pretty and beautiful to her. He stopped what he was doing and looked back down at her eyes. They both maintained eye contact for a while before they both slowly started closing in on each other. Heads tilting opposite of each other.

"Big brother?" A tiny voice interrupted them.

Both the male and female stopped and averted their gaze from each other onto the tiny blonde girl. She was dressed in her small fitted pajamas. The moonlight hitting her face as she scrunched her face up to adjust to the light.

"Klee? What are you doing up?" The boy questioned quietly.

"Had a nightmare. I wanted to sleep next to you because I was scared, but you weren't in your room." The tiny girl squeezed the tiny 'dodoco' plushie close to her chest.

The boy looked back at her and was about to apologize but she beat him to it.

"Don't worry, put her to sleep first. You can worry about me later." She reassured him.

He nodded and carried his little sister back to her room, muttering sweet soothing words to put her back to sleep. Seeing his figure disappear into the darkness of the hall, the strawberry haired girl sighed and looked out the window of his apartment complex. The moon had formed a crescent shape, not revealing it's fullness. But even so it still shown really brightly. The very few stars outside glimmered and twinkled.

The girl eventually found herself succumbing to sleep with the picturesque background. Her brown eyes now shut, mouth parting slightly, and her hair fell down her face gracefully. As the boy returned he came to notice her sleeping figure. He chuckled softly at the sight and carried her to his bed. He covered her in the tan bedsheets that dressed his mattress. Finally kissing her forehead and muttering an almost audible,

"Goodnight, Marceline."

i dont know if you write angst stuff but i have a request for howl pendragon x dead past lover reader

so imagine this set post ending and sophie just cleaning the "castle" as for usual, while cleaning howl's room she saw a picture of a man/woman/person lovingly hidden away and on the back it says "my starlight" in howl's handwriting then she asks howl about it and howl shares how long before sophie came, this person was the one who accompanies him and practically helped him raised his apprentice, his starlight, his first love that died for some reason (maybe protecting him for extra angst?)

ur choice on how sophie reacts to knowing that even tho theyre together now and there was no doubt that howl loves him, its obvious that his heart still belongs to this person

also lemme formally introduce myself, my name is ilyushka or ilya for short and i hope u dont mind me becoming a regular now because you and your blog is literally my comfort place now

- Ilyushka -

— signed, your beloved Howl

💭summary; it's... pretty much all up there ^^^ they did all the hard work, i'm just typing it out-

💭character(s); Howl Pendragon, Sophie Hatter, Michael (mentioned)

💭warnings; angst, mentions of loved-one's death, pseudo unrequited love, gender neutral reader!

—notes; hello, darling Ilya! it's lovely to meet you! I am truly in love with this request and I hope that you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! this was so original and so very pretty! i was also listening to this to help channel the angst: [song] hope it worked! i also hope that my blog stays a comfort place for you, pretty!

Sophie moved with the pitter-patter of the rain, allowing it to guide her rhythm as she moved throughout the castle, weaving in and out of room and hall as she cleaned. Perhaps it was due to the fact that she often found the sound of rain to serve as a source of white noise, but Sophie's usually vigorous, precise movements were languid and almost lethargic as she swept and beat dust from the many mismatched rugs that covered the castle's floors.

Even as Sophie moved into the bedroom that she now shared with the infamous wizard Howl, her heavy eyes were drawn to the sight of her bed, wide and soft, practically calling out to her to lie down for just a moment.

After several moments of arguing with herself, reminding herself that she'd never finish in time if she were to lay down now, she decided to give into the urge to rest upon the embroidered down pillows that Howl saved just for her.

Even as her fiery red hair broke free of its usual braid, having been tossled about from hours of tedious cleaning and washing from this morning, Sophie swept the braid to her back before laying down. She groaned softly as she felt her muscles relax, allowing her to melt into the embrace of the bed she now knew so well. A small smile found purchase upon her lips as she was reminded of Howl's musk, finding that their sheets still maintained his signature scent of fresh air, fire wood, and various flower-based perfumes he still fuddled with to this day.

Before she even realized it, the sound of the rain against the flimsy panes of glass that resided on the wall beside her had lulled her to sleep, allowing the house to fill with a gentle kind of quietness that dared not be broken by even the smallest of mice.

Sophie dreamed of many things: of her life back home, of her dear sisters, and of Vanny's gentle eyes, and of course, of her Howl. Yet, this time, she dreamed only of the gentle side of him that he desired to keep private. As if the well-tempered, tame side of himself were only meant to be shared between him and his beloved. That the moments in which he looked at her with such love filled eyes that her anger toward him was forfeit, and in which he brushed her hair behind her ear so gently it was as if he feared she would break, were all meant for her to see, and only her.

She awoke feeling more love for her husband than she had felt for a while, and the strong desire for him to return home accompanied it. Even as she rolled onto her opposite side, her eyes still shut tight, she wished to feel his warmth against her as she turned. However, upon opening her eyes, she found that she would have to wait even longer before she could see her husband's irritably handsome face once again.

Sophie rose to her feet, her eyes still filled with sleep as she carefully felt her way along the cluttered nightstand that resided on Howl's side of the bed. Instead of finding purchase on the smooth, cool varnish of the wood, her palm was met only with various gems and stones and things, most probably filled with some type of forgotten magic, and knickknacks of wood and metal that resembled either a person or place upon its surface. However, buried amongst them was an item that Sophie had yet to see. Her curious hands moved to where her eyes resided, and found a picture frame of silver lying face down beneath the clutter of the rest of the many things Howl certainly needed to sort through tonight.

As she turned the frame over within her light grasp, she felt her lips part as an involuntary gasp barely passed between them. Within the frame was an image of the most beautiful being that Sophie had ever seen. It was difficult to tell their finer details apart from the faded background they rested upon, as the image seemed to be covered in a black sort of grime that only stained her fingers the more Sophie dared to wipe it off, but she could tell that they were certainly no average looking person like her.

Their eyes seemed to shine through the black smear upon the canvas, and their color was as brilliant as the life that seemed to pour from their figure. Even though she only held a picture frame within her hands, Sophie felt as if she were in the presence of a very important being, but one that seemed as gentle and as kind as the summer breeze itself. Her heart seemed lighter the longer she stared, only for another, much heavier feeling to take its place as she was able to make out handwriting hidden well within the corner of the image, almost covered entirely by the edge of the frame and the black grime.

Sophie made her way to the nearest windowsill and allowed for the few remaining golden rays of sunlight to shine upon the corner of the picture. Her lips moved as her eyes made out the words upon the image, but her voice remained silent all the same.

"My starlight. Signed, your beloved Howl"

Sophie's eyes rose to take in the sinking sun before her as her mind raced. Who was this wonderous being, and why did Howl seem to care for them so? Was there someone she did not know about or...

No, that couldn't be the case, she assured herself. By the looks of the quality of the image, it had been very poorly taken care of for quite a long time. Still, Sophie would have to ask him when he returned.

So, Sophie situated herself by the fireplace, contemplating just how she would bring this up during dinner tonight, or even if she should. But in her mind, if she were to continue being Howl's wife and he her husband, then there should be no secrets between the two of them. So although her heart still felt unsatisfied by the many excuses and faux answers that she came up with to soothe herself in the mean time, she found herself once again patching the holes in one of Howl's suits.

And that was just how he found her when he arrived home, working the needle on one of his newest jackets, mumbling to herself about something he decided he wouldn't even bother making out himself. He was tired, and all that he wanted now that he was home was to simply lie in the arms of his beloved wife, and let her scold him about how late he had returned once again as he fell asleep in her embrace.

Yet, Sophie seemed to have other plans.

"Who is this?" Sophie asked, obviously trying to hide the hint of impatience that carried within her tone, but failing nonetheless. Still Howl decided to play along, letting Sophie place an oddly familiar piece of silver into his hands.

He froze for a few good moments as he realized what had been handed to him. His starlight. The face of his starlight was staring back at him with eyes that he nearly managed to forget that he missed. Seemingly alive, seemingly... there again. This silent exchange between Howl and the image did not at all go unnoticed by Sophie, and she couldn't help the bit of jealousy that bubbled up from her chest and onto her tongue as she once again asked Howl about the person trapped within the frame.

"They’re..." Howl began, trying but failing miserably to find the right words to explain just who this person was, and how they had remained just out of reach for so long.

Finally, after his eyes grew less dull and his tongue less dry, Howl gave in.

"Sophie, my love," he began, his tone far softer and much quieter than Sophie had ever remembered hearing before, even when he spoke to Michael.

"This is... someone I once knew long ago. They were... much like what you are to me now, but from what seems to be another life."

A gentle but sad smile tilted the corners of Howl's lips, and Sophie immediately began to wonder if her jealousy was rightly placed with anger, or if she should have simply let this go.

"A very long time ago, I've even forgotten just how long..." Howl laughed to himself, but it did not take a fool to see that there was no joy in his doing so.

"I met them. This... beautiful, powerful, magical being... they were perfect in every way, and I wanted to be just like them."

Sophie couldn't deny the sting that she felt at his words, but she also could not deny that she had not seen such a look in Howl's eyes as long as she had known him.

That was the night that Sophie learned of the place you held within Howl's heart. Of the times that he had spent wooing you with far more than just his guitar. How he had used nothing more than his words and honest attempts to pursue you as his only methods of gathering your attention. How, once he finally was able to call you his, you agreed to teach him all that you knew, only to later on assist him with his pupil.

How Michael had been your favorite with how sweet and innocent he was at the time. With how gentle you were with children and how kindly you treated Howl and his insecure heart. Sophie saw that you even now held Howl in your hands, and you had not a clue.

Or perhaps you did. But, she would never be able to ask, as she found that you had died rather long ago. Even in such a valiant attempt to save his life, Sophie could see the hurt and anguish held within the tears that threated to fall from Howl's eyes before they soon cascaded endlessly down his cheeks. Nonetheless, he continued to speak as if this were a story he would only ever tell once, and that if Sophie so much as breathed too loud to hear, then that would be a piece that she would miss for eternity.

Sophie's stubborn heart swooned as Howl spoke of how his encounters with the very witch that had cursed her had lead to your demise. That a bought of jealousy from the witch had caused her to hunt you endlessly, somehow always finding you wherever you and Howl had hidden away, and all at the expense of Howl's meaningless flirting before a time where he had even known you.

And despite learning how much of a beautiful person you were, and how you were certainly a person that Howl not only love, but deeply admired, Sophie couldn't help but feel a deep seeded pit of resentment build within her chest for you, just at the way Howl's eyes slowly moved across your figure within the frame, as if you were a treasure he would only be able to remember if he looked upon you.

Sophie couldn't help but despise you, despite how wonderful you seemed. She wished she could love you just as he did, but she now knew that you had a hold on Howl's heart that she would never be able to obtain, and for that reason alone, she would hate you.

After that night, Sophie did her best to steer clear of the bedroom for a while. Even going so far as to skip it completely during her usual cleaning rounds. But, she knew that this couldn't last forever. Despite how many times she tried to get Howl to sleep with her by the hearth or to keep her and Michael company for the night, she was always somehow pulled back into that room with him. And even with Howl at her side, she felt colder now than ever.

How was she meant to sleep in the arms of the man that she loved when his heart still belonged to another?

She could feel it in every bouquet of flowers he brought to her, in every smile he showed only to her, in every kiss he offered and gratefully received, she couldn't help but think that he did it all for you...

But for once, she never said a word to Howl about it. She didn't want to hear him call her the "only one for him" or his "one and only" because she was afraid that, as ignorant as it was that the thought alone brought tears to her eyes, she felt that if those words did not lift the heaviness of her heart, then nothing else ever could.

She had to accept that her husband still loved you. Someone that he couldn't leave her for, although she sometimes wished that he could. Someone she could never come home to find him alone with, and someone that could never write him forbidden proclamations of love within letters that she'd find hidden beneath his pillow, because you were gone. Far, far away in a place that neither of them could ever find you. And yet, Sophie still believed for just a moment that you were somehow warmer than she now felt.

But alas, Sophie's aching heart started to feel less alone. With each press of Howl's lips against her own, she could feel her heart beginning to race again as it once did. She could feel it in the way he would press her frame entirely against his in a tight, warm embrace before heading out. She could see it in the smile that once again seemed to reach his eyes before it appeared on his lips as he stared at her. Even in the sharp words that he would throw at her whenever one of them decided to be more stubborn than the other and cause yet another fight to occupy the shortening distance between them.

She knew that her husband still loved her, and that no matter what had happened in the past, he chose her now and he would do so a million more times in a million more lives.

And that was how she regained the courage to set foot into her bedroom once more to clean. And only to clean, as she told herself. But with each stroke of the bristles of the broom against the floor boards, and with each step she took upon the floor that caused the aging beams to cry and moan, she couldn't shake the feeling of eyes upon her.

It felt as if your ghost was with her, watching her from just out of reach. Except, the twisting in her gut came only from the fact that this was not a harmful creature, but rather one of gentile silence that only came to wish her well. And that somehow only made her feel worse.

So with fire in her heart and impatience upon her tongue, Sophie turned around, her fiery red braid swinging behind her as she fully intended to curse, shout, and scream at that ridiculously intrusive face behind the glass, only for her throat to go dry as her eyes meet with yours.

Her anger and those pesky feelings of insecurity slowly began to melt away as she stared into the frame, her angry eyes melding with your honest ones and finding nothing but peace and... love. Love not just for Howl, but anyone else who was lucky to see them.

She found that she could not hate you. She did not blame Howl for loving you the first time she heard of you, and she still could not bring herself to do so now. Not after knowing of the kind of person you were. Not after seeing your face.

So instead of fighting as she always did. Instead of always needing to be right, and to be seen and respected, Sophie decided she would instead do you a favor.

She picked up her broom, shut her eyes tight, and turned toward the door before the right words arose to her throat.

"I promise to look after him for you," was all that she said before returning to her sweeping.

A short promise, but an unbreakable one nonetheless.

Hi Hi, i love your writing so much...its so good and makes me feel fluffy inside🥺

So recently I've been having a big thing on Diluc being a dad of a red head daughter (it could be the reader) so could i wanna request a little story with how he'd be with a daughter from baby to about 4 years old? It can be headcannons or whatever you are comfy with...just really fluffy and cute u know?

Thanks in advance♥

I hope you don’t mind if the daughter is a baby here <3

She looks just like me...

—————————

Diluc was aware that his daughter had red hair, she was born that way. She screamed her little head off, waving her small arms in the air as her mother held her for the first time. Diluc remembers leaning over her shoulder to look down at his newborn baby girl, unable to hold back his tears of joy any longer when he noticed the red fuzz on her head.

Ragnvindr genes are strong. Diluc, his father, his grandfather and so on all have red hair, it’s just the way their gene pool works. Their genes overpower everyone else’s, it doesn’t matter if the mother is blonde, blue haired, black haired, their babies always have red hair. It doesn’t matter, Diluc was still shocked to see his beautiful baby with such bright hair right after being born.

For the first two weeks after her birth, Diluc tended to keep his distance. He feared that the baby would hate him. He smelled like fire and smoke, his hands were sweaty and his hair was always frizzy. The last thing he wanted was to give his daughter a bad first impression of him.

But now, months later, he’s gotten used to her and she’s come to love him too. Of course, she still prefers her mother over him but she won’t burst into tears when he picks her up.

Now he’s alone with the baby for the afternoon while his darling wife is out with friends. She deserves to get out of the house! Diluc is more than happy to watch the baby for the day. He has the maids do the laundry, wash the sheets and start on dinner so by the time she gets back, everything will be perfect.

Diluc is snapped out of his train of thought as a chubby hand rests itself on his face. He smiles and presses a kiss to his daughters cheek, laughing as she giggles. He looks at her with love and adoration. She has her mother’s eyes and his head of frizzy, red hair. There are a couple of paintings of Diluc as a baby though they’re stored away now to make from for paintings of his family. He can’t believe how much she looks like him

“You’re going to grow up to be a strong young woman, I know it” he tells her, bouncing her up and down in his arms, turning to block the sunlight from her face “You’ll probably grow taller than your mother too...Then what will we do with you?” Diluc huffs a laugh, earning another giggle from the baby

“My father always said that to me, you know. ‘Son, one day you’ll outgrow your mother. Then what are we going to do?’ Heh...yeah, he would say that all the time. If he had been around a bit longer, he would have gotten to see me outgrow him too” talking about his father stung...But when he got to talk about the good times he had with him, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world

“Your grandpa would have loved you...He would have had fifty of paintings commissioned, tons of little dresses made for you, more than you’d ever be able to wear before outgrowing them” he ran his fingers through her fine, red hair. Her little hand came up to grasp his finger, pulling his hand down to try to bite his hand “Hey- no no don’t do that”

Diluc shifted her in his arms, crossing the room to head down the grand staircase and out to the vineyard. After a bit of walking, he found a nice spot in the grass for the two of them to sit together where they could watch the water

“I got to grow up here...I ran around here through the grape vines, I splashed in this river with my brother. I hope I can give you the best life I can...I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you are safe and loved” Of course his daughter doesn’t understand, she grins up at him and waves her little hands around. She’s so full of innocent joy. She loves the grass, the maids, the birds, the rain. Diluc will do everything he can to protect her, to let her have a joyful childhood.

Soon he will retire from his duties as the Dark Knight Hero. He’ll put away his claymore and become the businessman he was always destined to be. He’ll run the winery and the Angel’s Share without any funny business, no more hunting the Fatui or Abyss mages. He has a family now, he can’t afford to be reckless with his life anymore. He has to be here for all of these little milestones in his daughters life, to see her grow into a brilliant young woman

“I love you, sweetheart. I’ll always be here for you” he promises, smiling down at her again. The touching moment is quickly ruined as she tries to eat a beetle from the grass “No! Give me that!”