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"when X trans group does this harmless thing it's cool and good and Praxis but when Y trans group does it it's cringe and bigoted and evil :( "
congratulations, you just reinvented the gender binary! should we all clap? should we hire a clown? should we tell the feds how you played right into their hands? should we all watch our trans ancestors roll over in their graves together?
Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.
You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".
I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.
Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.
It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.
We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.
The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.
Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.
If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.
You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.
Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!
please vocally support the trans men/mascs in your lives
if you see someone say misandrist or transandrophobic shit, shut that shit down
i know it is so fucking difficult for us to voice our discomfort regarding those topics because we are afraid we will be told to shut the fuck up, to stop being misogynistic or transmisogynistic or whatever the fuck else to distract from the problem which is people feeling emboldened to freely voice these things that wound us even more than we've already been wounded by oppression and bigotry
shut that shit down whenever possible
make spaces that are safe for us to be in
it is so fucking important to do this right now
show us that you care about the feelings of the trans men/mascs in your life, show us that you value our safety, show us that we mean something to you, show us that you consider us human and deserving of basic human respect
dont let this hatred keep festering and driving us out or into the ground
we need to start teaching baby fags that it's okay to be fat and/or old because it's really starting to get dire out here
It is so annoying when people respond to "the queer community has an anti-masc problem" with "well society loves and praises masculinity!" Okay... yes... but that's not what we're talking about 😭 The queer community ≠ society as a whole. Also? The society that praises masculinity does NOT praise queer masculinity. Cishet society does not praise butches, masculine trans people, or anyone who is masc in a queer way. And unfortunately, many queer people have this same problem.
Y’all, just stop using Shinigami Eyes. TERFs are green, intersex people are red, trans people are red, it’s just not working anymore. I literally had someone bust into my inbox telling me someone was a terf based solely on the fact that her name was red when it turns out she was a staunch anti-radfem and trans herself.
"queer people need to get weirder"
but can you handle a nonbinary transmasc/trans man who is femme and passes as his agab, yet DON'T want to be grouped with women and/or femmes, AT ALL???
CAN YOU???
anyone else think it’s kinda weird to say “why would you choose to be a man??” to transmasc/transmen because to me you are implying that being trans is a choice…which it’s not…I didn’t choose to be transmasc…that’s how I was born…
Nix, They/Them, Queer, 20s Sporadically active.Do not gender me.
368 posts