But Your Honor He's My Quinquagenarian Pudgy-bellied Dewy-eyed Skrunkly Pathetic Joel-joel Teddy Bear

thank god ellie is a lesbian it would be a sin if those beautiful long fingers went to waste<\3

straight up let’s hear it for dry humping!!! wooohoo dry humping!!!!

ME

my absolute favorite joke to make is saying "sorry, I got hungry" whenever someone loses something

That extremely hot thing middle aged men do when the weight of the world is crushing them

I can't help but think about all the grunting that will happen in that fight scene... 🫠🖤

No lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while i gasp for air, scream and the upside down, on the floor, on the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried, against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckle cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling, teeth jittering, mind blogging, soul snatching, over stimulating, vile, sloppy, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bine breaking, world ending, black whole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, back worthy, can’t walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, extraordinary, splendid, phenomenal, throat blasting, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tango and I’d still bounce on it.

I am not meant for casual love. I was born for soul consuming love and obsession.

“Fatherless behavior” stop giving my DAD credit for all the work my MOM put into making me a terrible person!! Stop erasing women in history!!