Nonex-on-the-way - I'm A Punny Excuse For A Human

commentators giving me kudos for good driving and they also read the "about me" on my registration sheet. i didnt think they would do that

Mark the electrician has been here for five minutes and he’s already said “well that’s…weird” twice from the other room and frankly I’m afraid to ask.

Hot take: In Sonic'06, Silver has his name because SEGA wanted to brag that they didn't have a AAA game but a SSS game

Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.

i couldn't even appreciate the artistry behind the clothing designs this year at the met gala because my bitterness and anger toward the exorbitantly wealthy has grown too much to be contained i try to say ooo pretty gown but all the black hateful bile starts oozing out from under the lid of its container. 7 months of genocide and the largest homeless camps my city has ever seen and food banks in the universities and baby formula locked behind glass and stomach gnawing guilt over a $7 latte and rent is always late and always behind on electricity bills uh ohhhh summer is here time for another wild fire. oooo pretty gown. the next met gala theme will be bear spray and what happens is i bear spray inside the gallery. i can't even force a sort of healthy detachment anymore like "haha oh well i guess that movie actor is rich it's not like they're an ultra wealthy bazillionaire oooo pretty gown" they're all worms to me vile beasts i look at them in their isolated imagine john lennon covid song bubble and i feeeeeel the milk of human kindness curdling within me. how can you smile at the camera. we are all dying girl. isn't there a protest not even a block away from you guys? protesters and riot cops and homeless ppl in the streets. i guess that's unfair you guys deserve a night of glitz and glamour and getting away from it all as if you're not constantly away from it all. girl we are dying. sick sick world. sick dying world. anyway i didn't watch the met gala this year

Not today apparently :)

RUSSIAN ROULETTE

Click one

X X

X X

X X

GUYS. DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN WRITE CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE FICS ON AO3

i watched My Neighbor Totoro for the first time, here's my chronological viewing experience:

woo-hoo! dusty old japanese house with japanese architectural details aplenty

these kids got some ENERGY my goodness

family dynamic's adorable. peak quality dad humor

kids: our house is haunted. parents: that's so cool!

hell yeah, wrinkled old lady rep. we need more friendly old women with potato faces and warts like storybook witches. the backbone of society, these ladies

Plot Summary: Small Child Bothers Local Wildlife

sacred tree sacred tree sacred tree

Introducing Totoro! nobody said this fucker's got TEETH???

Uh-Oh! Inadequate Parental Supervision Detected

(you misplaced your four year old! you're not supposed to do that)

4-year-old: i met a magic forest spirit. dad: oh shit fr?

4-year-old: *angrily hugs sister* missed u bitch

this small child has a smile like a toad. like a really really cute toad. like the cutest toad in all existence. i love her she's perfection please just let this child be happy

rice paddies are so pretty....so back breaking....rice is such a prissy crop

*my crush is stranded in a rainstorm* takethisumbrellait'syoursnowBYE *runs away in panic im so good at flirting*

Giant Chinchilla Learns To Hold Umbrella, Is Fucking Delighted By Experience

take this, it will help you on your quest! *hands u trail mix wrapped in a leaf*

LO-FI HIP HOP STUDY LIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

crouching down to peer at dirt--A++ top notch foundational childhood experience

mom has a big ass forehead

honey! the chinchillas are performing Rituals in the backyard again

help yeah let's jack and the bean stalk this shit

huh so we're all just climbing aboard the giant chinchilla's tiddies now ok

class trip!

the pure adrenaline of Vegetable Gardening

no! the small child is crying! she is bawling her eyes out. no no no. i can't cope with this. emotionally i cannot cope 🥺🥺🥺

i've only had Mei one hour but if anything happens to her i will raze this earth and everyone on it

please someone make this small child smile again

oh no the tall child is crying too

i can't take this. my heart can't take this.

i need a drink

small child running determined to deliver magic veggies to the hospital. this kid is my hero

she is also unsupervised. so, so unsupervised

babe you are FOUR

godDAMMIT ghibli, you cannot give me watercolor sunsets while a small child is missing. u are killing me. my heart is giving out. this is me, experiencing heart failure.

Totoro to the rescue!

no wait CATBUS to the rescue!

i admit i initially thought the cat was a creep. alice in wonderland prejudiced me. i have revised my notions of smiling cats

i've decided the cat is a metaphor for the magic of a robust public transport system

MEI'S OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and so is mom. she's a lovely lady im sorry for what i said about her forehead. it's a noble forehead.

happy ending YES bitch!!!!!!

ok. ok ok ok. that was magical.

(as a first-time adult viewer i was worried i wouldn't be able to Access the Magic. but i could and i did and it was incredible. that was culture. that was ART. joy distilled into animated form. holy rites of childhood. i understand now. how glorious, this world we grow out of. how full of marvels. i'm going outside to smell grass and sun and get dirt under my fingernails. miraculous.)