Epic But It's Just A DnD Game

Epic but it's just a DnD game

DM: “The cyclops pulls out a club and takes a swing. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw” Odysseus: “Nat 20!” Eurylochus: “17!” Polites: “That’ll be a nat 1…” *Polites’s miniature is knocked from the board*

DM: “Odysseus walks off with the wind bag. Everyone make a wisdom saving throw” Eurylochus: “…I got a 3” DM: “You gotta see what’s inside that bag” Eurylochus: “But I’m Odysseus’s second in command, surely I’d tru-“ DM: “YOU GOTTA SEE WHAT’S INSIDE THAT BAG”

Odysseus: “I must be a god like you, ‘cause I got this root from the ground with my bare hands!” DM: “Make an intimidation check” Odysseus: “…yeah that’s a 1” Circe: “Hermes gave it to you, didn’t he”

Circe: “I roll to seduce Odysseus… 17!” DM: “Not bad! Odysseus, make a wisdom saving throw” Odysseus: “Nat 20, baby!!” DM: “Sorry, Circe, Odysseus really does just love his wife that much”

DM: “A siren appears, wearing Penelope’s face… Odysseus, make a wisdom saving throw” Odysseus: “Another nat 20 let’s gooo-" DM: “Okay so you can just sail on by-" Odysseus: “No no let me roll for persuasion, let’s have some fun with this”

Odysseus: “Please don’t tell me you’re about to do what I think you’ll do” DM: “Roll for persuasion” Odysseus: “…nat 1” DM: “your luck has run out. Eurylochus, steak time. Nom nom nom”

Eurylochus: “But we’ll die” DM: “Roll for persuasion” Eurylochus: “…nat 1” Odysseus: “I know” Eurylochus: “dude come ON-“ DM: *lightning noises*

Odysseus: “If you’re plan’s so great, then why’d you wait to say it?” DM: “Hermes, make a performance check” Hermes: “NAT 20 DARLING” DM: “This campaign is now a Hermes dance party. Ody, you’re fighting those sea monsters on your own while Hermes just tears it up in the corner”

Poseidon: “After everything you’ve done, how will you sleep at night?” Odysseus: “Next to my wife” Literally the entire party: “OHHHHHHHHHHH” DM: “THAT’S AN INSPIRATION POINT FOR YOU” *Cut to Odysseus beating every single suitor in the span of like an hour*

Part 2