Same

My homecoming is a masquerade ball

Holy shit my dreams are slowly coming true

Imma be wearing that black dress with a gold mask (fake obviously its just metal ill break out if its real gold)

What genius-

That escalated quickly and @dear-ao3 Jesus fucking christ you need a hug and some chocolate

hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don't i know this? (i should mention i don't like in america, i'm just confused)

there is delaware (state) and delaware (river) 

both are equally strange

the state is a tiny little cryptid thing

the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.

the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.

Okay but what if frogs had wings?

reblog and put your biggest toxic trait in the tags

IM SCREAMING

Same energy

Yall look at my little brother

Okay people fucking storytime.

So i live in an apartment building, on the second of the two levels.

We have a balcony. Both my parents are tobacco smokers, so when they go out on the patio for a cigarrete, I have 3-6 minutes to do whatever the fuck i want sneakily.

So mom went outside and as she did so, my little sister jumped on the dog. The dog squeaked like a firework and acted the same way, wildly running around the house and knocking over a lamp while my little sister sits on the livivg room floor giggling like a manic. What mom did not know, about the situation however, was that when the dog knocked over the lamp, she knocked over my succulents. Which were hiding... *things*... In the dirt (a set of keys, 3 throwing knives, and a bloody towel. I had a really bloody nose one day from being nervous and the towel was hidden in between the pot and the plant holder itself. The throwing knives were in there for easy access and the keys were hidden there for reasons i cant discuss without getting arrested.)

Anywho. Im hurriedly trying to pick up my stashed items when

A fucking knife is lodged into my shirt lodging into a wall.

My little sister smiled innocently, and then I saw it: my dog had her paw on a fucking stool.

SHE CATAPULTED A THROWING KNIFE AT ME

True true

Chan: Felix you are my best friend and I would do anything for you

Felix: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule

Chan: almost anything