Anyone Got That Poem Written From The Perspective Of An English Teacher Where They Know Deeply Personal

If you have achieved something, please remember to observe a mandatory period of basking in the warm glow of your achievement like a lizard on a stone, lest you teach your brain that effort is futile, actually, because it didn't get to enjoy its happy chemicals, so, naturally, nothing good ever comes of trying. (And no, avoiding punishment is not a reward!)

I recommend, like, 5% of basking time in relation to whatever time you invested into achieving the thing minimum. And if you can't make your own bask, friend-brought is fine (= tell your friends!).

Good Night, Son. I’ll be home in 3 rotations.

Star Wars AU in which Anakin doesn’t turn to the Dark-Side. He is instead a General in the Rebellion, and Luke still grew up on Tattooine.

my favorite thing about anakin as a character is the inherent nuance lucas wrote into his story, like he's neither an innocent victim nor an inherently evil monster, he's just some guy put in a series of Situations and ultimately failing the test of his humility and self-control. he was certainly flattered and shaped by the devil, spiraling into something unrecognizable, but he chose to take every step down the pathway to hell. lucas knew he would lose a certain demographic by making him basically a greedy pawn in the larger story, not a righteous betrayed macho badass, but he did it anyway. he made him an awkward romantic and a loyal friend, a generous boy and a brilliant teen. he made sure he had all the positive qualities that meant that he had potential to be so much more than vader, but it was clearly his choice to lie, murder, and fully squander that potential. there are no excuses for what he became, no acceptable reasons to commit mass slaughter. he became an unbelievably selfish and impatient man, reckless and wantonly violent. hayden captured that nuance so well, nobody can match the sweetness of his smile and the absolute horror of his scowl on mustafar. to view him through a single lens as either pure victim of manipulation and (canonically unsupported) emotional neglect, or a creepy evil villain, denies the heart of his story and the weight of his tragedy. he's neither an angel nor a demon, he's both and neither, he's deeply human, a classical tragic hero with a flaw of greed. lucas made a choice with the prequels to tell a story that not everyone wanted to hear, and the result was a character that i think is one of the best of modern pop culture, mostly because he feels to me so very, very ancient and eternal.

Next installment of Lord of the Rings AU: It's Fine, Everybody's Fine is Aragorn's coronation, at which Boromir W E E P S:

I think in a circumstance where Boromir lives, or even just in interacting with Faramir in canon, Aragorn would be very aware of the optics of striding in out of the wilderness to take a throne that the line of stewards had been fighting and dying for in his absence (Thorongil cosplay aside). Cool thing is, in this AU, seeing the king's throne filled and experiencing Gondor at peace for the first time in living history is more than Boromir EVER hoped for.

The day the White Tree sapling blooms, Aragorn wakes up Faramir and Boromir like a six-year-old on Christmas:

And then there's that FIRST SUNRISE over the Mountains of Shadow, when day breaks over a defeated east that's clean and clear and Boromir WEEPS AGAIN because he NEVER THOUGHT he'd see such a thing and YES this is a THIRST TRAP why do you ASK

Hell yeah I gave him a tattoo, it's the seven stars of Gondor plus a coastal rockrose that grows in sandy soils along the Mediterranean because I figure that's like Dol Amroth in honor of HIS MOM because I LOVE SYMBOLISM

okay so I’m having a lot of feelings about the parallels between Anakin and Bode’s fall to the dark side and I need a place to scream about it so here it is

putting the rest under a cut because I already KNOW I’m about to go off

alright and before I go any further, I want to clarify that I don’t imagine the writers for Survivor sat down and went “hmm what kind of character can we make to rival the tragedy of Anakin? I know! we’ll just make the same character… but different…” I just think that the general path to the Dark Side tends to be similar for a lot of people. there just happens to be a lot of overlap for these two characters specifically. and if the similarities WERE intentional. well. honestly that would be very Star Wars-core of the writers. the overlapping rings and parallels between trilogies has been important to the storytelling of Star Wars from the beginning.

moving right along tho. I think it’s impossible to say when their actual journey to the Dark Side TRULY begins (I imagine Anakin growing up a slave and Bode living through the Purge might have been the whisper of wind that eventually blew over the first domino) but I think it’s safe to say that the Big Moment for Anakin was when his mother died in his arms. and his heart was so filled with grief and anger that he was driven to revenge. not just the men… but the women and children too. we all know the story.

and it’s harder to know for sure with Bode, since we don’t actually see his reaction, but I’d wager losing his wife had a similar effect on him. even Kata herself says that losing her mother changed her father. and we know from the post-game Force echoes that, aside from protecting Kata, Bode’s work for Denvik was also to learn the identity of the Inquisitor who killed his wife. he’s been living with this burning seed of rage in his heart, this desire for vengeance even though revenge is not the Jedi way.

so then you just have these two people, living with the GUILT of not making it in time to save the one they loved. these two people who have been so traumatized by their loss, that the thought of losing anyone else is unbearable. the love that these two hold for those still living that are closest to them— for Anakin it’s Padme, for Bode it’s Kata— is corrupted by fear and turns into attachment. slowly but surely, they are consumed by one impossible goal: protect Padme/Kata AT ALL COSTS.

enter The Cost. at a certain point, Anakin becomes convinced that Palpatine is the only one who can help him save Padme. he’s willing to throw away EVERYTHING ELSE for that one chance. he’s willing to kill younglings, he’s willing to execute the entire Jedi order for it. he’s willing to break Padme’s heart. meanwhile, Bode becomes convinced that Tanalorr is his one salvation for Kata and he’ll do whatever he has to in order to get her there. he’s willing to kill Cordova, he’s willing to lead the entire Hidden Path to their doom for it. he’s willing to trap Kata in a life of isolation— as long as she’s still ALIVE.

and all throughout this, these two have formed this brotherhood with a certain someone. a bond formed through the hell of fighting a seemingly endless war. for Anakin, it’s Obi Wan. for Bode, it’s Cal. it’s so interesting to me to think about the last interaction these two pairs had with each other before Everything Happened. Anakin seeing Obi Wan off before he takes on Grievous. Dooku was already dead. after all this fighting, the war was SO CLOSE to being over. Obi Wan tells Anakin he’s grown to be a greater Jedi than he could ever hope to be. and then contrasting Bode’s last night with Cal. after all this fighting, they’re so close to finally being SAFE. the guilt of what Bode’s about to do weighs so heavily on him, yet Cal can only see a brighter future. he tells Bode that they couldn’t have done it without him. these quiet moments of connection before they lose everything.

then everything just comes to a head when these brother figures finally confront Anakin/Bode. Anakin flies off to a fiery hellscape. Bode flies off to a lush paradise. they both believe they’ve left their brother behind for good. and then Padme unintentionally brings Obi Wan to Anakin. Kata very deliberately takes Cal to Bode. I think it’s at this moment where both Anakin and Bode go from agitated to full on enraged. there’s such a clear moment where the both of them snap and it’s no longer about “protecting” their loved one, it’s about destroying this one person who stands in their way. Anakin Force chokes Padme. Bode lashes out with the Force at Kata TWICE. (At one point, Kata may have even fallen to her death if Merrin hadn’t been there to save her.)

the tragic ending to both Anakin and Bode’s story happens when they lose themselves and fight to kill their brother. the tragic ending to their story happens when they become the very danger they fought so hard to protect their loved one from.

I think there are two main differences between Bode and Anakin’s story. the first is from an audience perspective. I mentioned before that we don’t actually SEE a lot of Bode’s story leading up to his fall. Anakin, however, we see from the very beginning. except we KNOW he’s doomed. we KNOW he’s going to end up as Darth Vader. we just don’t know HOW. and it’s heartbreaking in its own way to see Anakin be so fundamentally GOOD knowing how he’s going to end up. Bode on the other hand…

from the beginning, Bode is just a guy. he’s Cal’s new friend. he’s a great fighter and he immediately fits right in with Cal’s family of strays. you have no idea what’s coming. personally, when I first played, my only suspicion of him was that he was beginning to doubt Cal’s vision of Tanalorr. and I thought maybe he’s right? a running theme of the game is that Cal just doesn’t know how to STOP FIGHTING. perhaps Bode just thinks this supposed safe haven from the Empire isn’t the place to… continue the fight against the Empire. and even after Bode blatantly betrays everyone, the extent of his motivation wasn’t clear to me until the confrontation on Nova Garon. before then, I was doubting everything he’d ever said. did he actually have a daughter named Kata? was his name even really Bode? these kinds of questions never come up in Anakin’s story. we know everything about him and WHY he’s doing it. but I think this unknown factor around Bode is what makes his betrayal just… sting more. it makes US want to shout, “you were Cal’s brother, Bode! he loved you!”

and finally the second difference which is from a narrative perspective. and it’s the fact that, at the very end, Anakin DID return to the light. Bode never got that. and I think it mostly hinged on the fact that people still BELIEVED in the good in Anakin. it was one of Padme’s dying words. there’s still good in him. Luke was ready to DIE for that belief. Luke absolutely REFUSED to give into fear, to strike down the Emperor or his father in anger. at the most critical moment, Luke resisted the Dark Side. he chose love and THAT’s what saved Anakin and brought him back to the light.

for Bode… he didn’t have that. I’m not sure if anyone really believed in him by the end. which is… understandable. as I said earlier, I myself was questioning everything about Bode after his betrayal. I can’t imagine how Cal, who trusted Bode with HIS LIFE, would feel. Merrin herself told Cal it was kill or be killed. Cal even admitted that he has so much hatred for Bode. hell, he even straight up “embraces the darkness” to win his fight against Bode. Cal gave Bode multiple chances to surrender, but his motivation to give those chances were all about Kata. it was all about how Cal and Merrin know what it’s like to lose their whole family and don’t want Kata to go through that. not once does Cal say “I know this isn’t you, Bode. I know there’s still good inside you.”

this isn’t a criticism on Cal, by the way. he’s walked a very different path than Luke. he’s at a very different point in his journey than Luke was when he confronted Vader. Cal was (understandably) in the middle of battling the Dark Side in HIMSELF at the time. he wasn’t in a place where he could pull someone ELSE from that path. and honestly, I think it just makes this story that much more heartbreaking. maybe there WAS a chance for Bode, but the stars just, very tragically, weren’t aligned for him.

I don’t really have a conclusion for all these thoughts, just that it’s so fascinating that their stories are so similar despite such different circumstances. it’s so fascinating that they still somehow ended the same yet so differently. I’m really going to be thinking about Bode’s story for a long time. I haven’t felt this way about a character’s arc in… awhile. it’s such peak Star Wars to me, to be honest, and it’s really disappointing knowing that the audience for this story is limited to just gamers and people who enjoy watching gaming videos. it really deserves the attention of a mainstream movie, in my opinion.

Part 6 for the Red Dead Twitter!

I watched return of the jedi for the first time in 4 years and here are my thoughts:

I know the line between sci-fi and fantasy is already super blurry but Star Wars truly feels like a fantasy movie. It’s in the costumes, the worldbuilding, the vibe, the odd encounters, palpatine’s entire character. And while there is futuristic tech the world of Star Wars doesn’t feel particularly Futuristic™️, if that makes sense.

There’s this one imperial officer Bacar interacts with at the start of the movie who acts his ASS off. Seriously give this man an Oscar. The fear!! The subtly!! The little gulp he does before facing Vadar!!! The palpable terror at the idea of the emperor coming there!!! This dude single handedly sets up palpatine as a threat

PRACTICAL SETS!!! All the practical sets!!! There’s so many sequences, especially in jabba’s palace but they’re throughout, where the characters casually interact with the world around them, and it’s such a small detail but it means so much to me. They really feel like they’re part of the world. My favorites were the Hall of Horrors C-3PO walks through in Jabba’s palace and Luke interacting with his x-wing on dagoba

It’s not all this great though, the green screen to the sarlack pit was awful. I found it endearing.

Also I love how there’s so much this movie doesn’t explain to you. There’s this weird robot spider thing in Jabba’s palace that we see when R2 and C-3PO walk in!!! What does it do!!! There’s a guy who’s super upset when Luke kills that monster!!! Who is he!!! And a bunch of other weird little things that just aren’t elaborated on. On top of that there’s just all these strange aliens just chilling, living their lives, some of which I don’t think we see again. It all comes together to make the world feel so much bigger than what we see.

I’d heard the analysis that Luke wears black in return of the Jedi to allude to a possible fall to the dark side, but that analysis hadn’t really clicked for me until this watch through. Like dude’s introduction was him force choking someone

Honestly like has this kind of subdued confidence this whole movie and I love it. He knows he’s good but doesn’t need to flaunt it.

Like his grin when he says “you should have bargained jabba. It’s the last mistake you’ll ever make” I love it

Luke is actually really subdued this entire movie, which tracks with all the internal conflict he’s dealing with. The biggest displays of emotion we see from him are when he’s reuniting with friends or when he goes OFF on Vadar at the end for threatening leia

Chewbacca and Han’s reunion 😭, they care so much about each other, chewy pets his head

In general everyone is so happy to see each other in this movie, every time someone shows up after being separated everyone is so excited to see them. There’s so many hugs. You can really tell they care about each other.

Due to some of the framing, I don’t think leia slaughtering Jabba was part of the plan. I think she just saw an opportunity and took it. Girlboss.

I noticed Luke’s fighting style with his lightsaber is much tougher around the edges, it’s less elegant, which tracks with him having much less official training with it. I like it

Yoda trying to use dying as a way to avoid Luke’s questions. Iconic.

Yoda’s choked out dying words of “there is another skywalker” become so much funnier when you remember he becomes a force ghost. The man could just peacefully pass then come back 10 minutes later and continue the conversation, he doesn’t need to try this hard to get the words out. Then again that would take some of the drama out of it.

Han is just so great in this movie, he’s got a reputation for being this suave sarcastic outlaw, which to be fair he kind of was in new hope, but here he’s just so sweet. He’s the one telling Luke to be more optimistic! When lando gets his promotion to general he doesn’t tell him about his own, and looks genuinely bashful when it’s brought up in front of the group! He goes to check on leia after she talks with Luke! He gives lando the falcon because he knows it’ll help him even though the ship means so much to him and is scared of it getting destroyed! When he thinks leia has feelings for Luke he offers to step aside and not get in the way! This man cares about his friends!

Speaking of that moment with leia after Luke leaves, that’s the one moment we see him being a dick, he lashes out with “but you could tell Luke? Is that who you could tell?!” But then immediately apologizes and comforts her when she asks for it. He loves leia so much and it’s so obvious the entire time

My man thought he was in this love triangle and was doing his best, and was fully prepared to step aside and let leia be happy with Luke. And the face journey he goes on when leia tells him luke is her brother. It’s gold. It’s that math meme but even better.

For the mission to endor, Luke and leia are both in these camo space ponchos and helmets but apparently Han’s outfit was to iconic to change because he just puts on a camo trench coat over his usual outfit

The first speeder chase through the woods of endor struck me as much more low key then it would have been if it was made today. This isn’t a bad thing, but I know if it was made today it would have been much more dramatic, a set piece

When leia goes missing Han, Luke, and chewy immediately peel off from the group to go find her. Good friends but you are LEADING THE MISSION

Leia meeting the ewok is a fun sequence and it’s funny how she just rolls with it. She does not question it, just accepts this little guy is here now and starts following him. It’s funny to contrast this with when Luke, Han, and chewy rescued her in a new hope and she fought every step of the way

In general the Ewoks are such a strange and whimsical inclusion. Like this is part 3 in a space opera and a huge chunk of it has these little furry dudes who live and fight like the lost boys from Peter Pan that we’ve literally never seen before. It’s weird

Luke is so delighted by the Ewoks, from his little smile when the first surround them to trying to hide his laughter at them thinking C-3PO is a god

Also we should not ignore how hilarious his idea to scare the Ewoks into listening was. And the man knew it too, you could tell from his smile. The little shit.

The storytelling sequence!!! I love it!! I love how C-3PO uses the sound effects! I love how everyone is huddled together! I love how we the audience can tell what’s being said from context clues even if we don’t understand all the words!!

Luke peacing out like “it’s time to angst😔”

I do think the bridge scene between luke and leia could have been done a bit better but it wasn’t bad, just a bit flat for the gravity of what was being revealed. Leia and Han are great though

I love luke and vadar’s back and forths even if they can get repetitive

The writers really used “search your feelings” or “your feelings betray you” as shortcuts to avoid hard writing huh

The emperor was such a little gremlin, he did nothing but talk about how luke was going to fall to him, how he knew everything was gonna happen and it’s all according to his plan, he really didn’t do anything but talk shit until the very end with the force lightning

To be fair, Vadar didn’t do anything until the force lightning either

Neither of these points are complaints, palpatine is supposed to be a shadowy scheming villain that others do the dirty work for and the really pull it off. And vadar’s passivity in this movie I think demonstrates the conflict he’s feeling. Despite his words about how he must do his emperor’s will, he’s not really doing that right now, is he? He’s not really defying orders either but something is different

Something I noticed!!! When Han’s team first make it in to the back door, off in the corner as they go inside we see a storm trooper adjusting his armor and taking his position again. One of the rebels stole the storm troopers armor and took their place. This doesn’t lead up to anything but it’s SUCH a cool detail

The true hero’s of this movie are the Ewoks, palpatine had Han’s team captured and the air fleet on the ropes before the Ewoks stepped in and saved Han and co. Palpatine would probably have won if it weren’t for them. It’s great.

I really love luke so much, he’s just so compassionate. For his friends, for his father, for everyone. This is the trait that makes him a hero. It’s literally what palpatine tried to use to turn him, the anger he’d feel at watching his friends die because he loves them so much

“No, you’re wrong. I am a Jedi, like my father before me” not gonna lie, this was kinda hot. It’s that quiet confidence I was talking about earlier. Also the way he nods towards vadar when he mentions his father

“….so be it, Jedi” THIS!!!! THIS!!!! I love this so much!! Because the entire movie palpatine has been talking about how Luke is going to fall to him, how it’s inevitable, how Luke is foolish to think otherwise. But this moment right here, is him acknowledging he’s wrong. He won’t be able to turn Luke, he failed. Luke truly is a Jedi and even palpatine cannot away him. It’s so fucking good

When vadar lifts up palpatine to stop him, we get a reaction shot for Luke who just looks so confused. Appropriate reaction.

As luke is dragging vadar to his ship we see imperial officers and storm troopers running around to try and escape and I just want to know what the fuck was going through their heads when they saw Luke and vadar

I know the falcon surviving doesn’t make sense but it makes me happy

Something important I realized towards the end: AT NO POINT IN THIS MOVIE DID ANYONE TELL HAN VADAR WAS LUKE’S DAD

CHEWY AND LANDO WEREN’T TOLD EITHER FOR THAT MATTER

THEY DON’T KNOW

Presumably they were told later but holy fuck why is no one talking about this.

Again….those reunions, hugs all around, everyone is so happy and relieved and I love it

I know it doesn’t end here, which makes be kinda sad, because this is such a beautiful and hopeful ending

All in all, with all the Star Wars fatigue and what Disney has been doing, this really reminded me what I love about Star Wars. I felt like I could appreciate the movie a lot more on this watch through and had a wonderful time

She actually says this out loud. I'm not joking.

i think it is unjust to deny a child their right to dig a hole motivelessly