🥰feels Good To Create Again

tw: depression, anxiety disorder and suicidal thoughts

first of all, I'm doing okay again. I'm far from being all peachy still, but things are getting better slowly. And since it got pretty quiet on my blog I felt like sharing some thoughts and details of what happened the last months and what will happen on this blog, for those who wonder

I was already dealing with a lot of shit mentally, then one of my cats died and not long after that (around 9 months ago) my husband lost his job and let's say, everything went downhill afterwards

we both fell into a really bad depression and with both partners being on edge all the time with only dark thoughts, things could only go bad. It was a really rough time when my depression and anxiety disorder got so bad that I could barely take it anymore. I didn't have the strength for anything, even simple things like showering or eating were difficult tasks

I often thought about ending it all and tbh, I have no idea how I got through it or where I got the last bit of strength from, but the church actually helped us a lot, like literally

but like I mentioned before, things are getthing better. Much better. My husband started his new job this week and it's even a job he already loves and feels comfortable with. As for me, I'm in good, professional hands now and have a new therapist. And it seems he's finally a good one who can actually help me with all my bullshit. It's a long way from now on, because it seems there's more going on with me than I actually thought. It's possible that I might be on the spectrum and don't let me start with all the forms of anxiety disorder, plus the things I deal with for years now

from now on it can only get better again. I'm still on edge quite often, get panic attacks or just feel like I'm not really existing and float somewhere else in space or something. But I'll be more active again in the future. I take it easy for now though. I miss playing Sims and other games or just enjoying my hobbies to the fullest. As for my custom content, I will start sharing again. Mostly smaller things like jewelry and accessories. No hairstyles or clothes though. I put too much time and work into these and, honestly, it still pisses me off that there are people selling my content and earning money with my efforts. It probably stopped by now, but because it can happen again in the future, I just don't feel like sharing "more time consuming" creations

posts like that won't happen often since recently I feel better with keeping my emotions and thoughts to myself and far away from tumblr (or social media in general), but because of the long break I felt like sharing a bit today

thanks for reading, enjoy your days to the fullest and take care of yourself 💜

life is getting better after some pretty dark months and I finally have a clear mind to create more often again

Me when people replace Gaz:

I want to start off by saying I hope you're doing okay, and things are starting to look up in life. You're not alone, and you are appreciated here. I hate that people are stealing your content AGAIN, that's insane to me that good creators are being pushed away because of greed. Your content is my absolute favorite and is a staple in my game. I totally understand not wanting to put it out there anymore. I hope you can find peace in this community, because we need you here <3 <3 ily

thank you ♥ I'm doing pretty great so far, life's good again. Actually so good that my brain can't handle it lol

idk if my cc got stolen again, but it definitely happened several times in the past and I don't want it to happen again. I really miss to share cc, because it was part of my hobby as well. I still create, tbh I'm even more into it than ever before and do much more in blender nowadays, and it's a shame that there are always shitheads disrespecting creators, not only me but also others who have great talent and create amazing things. It pisses me off.

but we'll see what the future holds, I want to share some things here and there at least

ngl waiting for Mydei was torture...

「 ⛥ Io ⛥ 」

working on a new oc (and hair)

🌻

Who else has this same?