Grilled Cheese

Dick: I think a magical girl transformation would fix me. Jason: I think killing a titan would fix me. Tim: You want to be isekai'd so bad you look stupid. Clark: What are these words? Bruce: Don't ask.

local fail boy and his hot goth wife

Trans Tim off handedly mentioning random things that just confuse people more and more because he never told them he was trans (only Bruce and Alfred know)

Tim: "For the mission I'm thinking I'll go undercover, but it'll take some work to hide the bruises I got earlier. They're everywhere"

Dick: "Oh I think Steph is free right now!"

Tim: "...Ok?"

Dick: "Don't worry I'm sure she'll help you out with this! "

Tim: "That's awesome but I don't think I'll need help. I know how to use makeup."

Dick: "Really-? Ohhh, yeah your public image is like, way more public than ours. That must be tiring, having to hide the bruises all the time."

Tim: "Well yeah but I knew how to use makeup before that. For like, galas as a kid and stuff"

Dick: "...yeah..."

-----

Steph: -Complaining about a man- "And then he said "Oh you should smile more" like "you look like you don't want to be here" like what- what the fuck-??? Maybe I fucking don't dude."

Tim: "Oh yeah I hate when they do that. Like you've spent the entire time bitching about the consistency of snails, I can close my mouth for a few seconds."

Steph: "..."

Tim: "...What-?"

Steph: "Well- I mean yeah but- you know I have to deal with it like...way more, and it's just a bit weird that like, you as a guy are, I dunno, trying to relate? I mean you don't have to deal with it litreally everyday"

Tim: "Well yeah not anymore, but, you know...I still did."

Steph: :...What-"

-----

Tim: -Resting against one of the rooftop ledges-

Jason: "Woah, I can't believe it, Red Robin, slacking. What would Bruce do if he saw this!"

Tim: "Fuck off, it's just period cramps." -Jumps off the edge of the building-

Jason: "Yeah whatever Timblina...

Your fucking what-"

-----

Bruce: "And for this mission, we'll be needing someone for the Caroline disguise, but we already know who that is so-"

Dick: "Wait does Steph actually know how to fight in heels-??"

Bruce: "...N-"

Steph: "Yeah Bruce, I mean, you could at least actually ask me before volunteering me to go fight crime in that dress."

Bruce: "You-"

Jason: "I mean no offense, but literally who else would do it? Cass isn't here right now and I don't think any of us are willing to get a boob job for the mission"

Bruce: "No one's getting a boob job-"

Steph: "Yeah! This is bat tech, Bruce probably has ultra realistic titties in everyone's color and size! Jason you wouldn't even need an attachment."

Jason: "I don't think Caroline Hills has fifty gun shot wounds and muscles the size of most those guys heads."

Steph: "Yeah bu-"

Bruce: "None of that will be necessary because none of you" -Pointing at the right side of the table- "Will be going. No one at this table will be needing any prosthetics...Or boob jobs."

Steph: "...Ok but who the fuck is going then-"

Bruce: "Tim."

The entire table: "..."

Steph: "Tim are you really willing to put on boobs for this-"

Dick: "I don't think that's the best idea-"

Jason: "You just said no prosthetics- Oh this'll be fucking rich"

Tim: "...

I...wouldn't need a boob job?? Or prosthetics?"

Jason: "Timbo, that dress is a pretty low cut, and, no offense, your training hasn't given you that many enhancements."

Tim: "...Thank you for the binding compliment?"

Dick: "The what-"

Tim: "Guys I- I already have boobs-"

The Table: "..."

Steph: "WHAT-"

Dick: "You do-?!"

Jason: "Bruce if you made Tim get boobs for some weird mission-"

Tim: "What- No! No one made me get boobs??? Besides, I don't know, biology I guess??? Genetics maybe???"

Dick: "...I'm extremely confused"

Steph: "WHO GAVE YOU BOOBS-???"

Tim: "I'm not really sure seeing as I was born with them"

Dick: "...

OHHHHHH-"

Steph: "What- is this like a birth defect or something???"

Dick: "Tim- Tim I think you're just gonna have to-"

Tim: "I'm trans."

Jason: "...That's-

Yeah

Ok yeah no that- that explains...a lot."

Steph: "..." -Head in hands- "I am such a fucking idiot"

Tim: Want to play a game?

Jason: *war flashbacks to knife monopoly* ...okay...?

Tim: It's called 'Jon or katana'. I give you actual quotes from Damian, and you guess if he was talking to his sword or his boyfriend.

Jason:

Jason: Awesome.

theres a enough luigi to go around, guys

Dick and Jason's responses are the only correct ones

do you have any fics where c!tommy is taken to somewhere new where they dont know anything about the dsmp? sorta like hermit!tommy fics, but ive already read every one of those i could find. sorry if this is too specifc lol

Hey anon! I actually really like this trope so I've got a few fics for you :D (There's 2 hermit!tommy fics in here too, so I apologise if you've read them already!)

don't put me to rest by MementoMemoriam [Rated T, 59540 words, incomplete, last updated December 2021]

He couldn’t tell Phil or Techno. They probably would think he’s crazy, and how does he even explain the situation anyways? “Oh yeah, I just went to bed after being exiled from my country in another timeline and woke up here. Sorry for the trouble, guys!”

What are they going to do when they find out he’s not their Tommy?

Oh god. What happened to their Tommy? Is he in Tommy’s world?

Tommy feels himself grow even more sick at the thought. Phil and Techno would kill him if they found out he’d sent their Tommy to that hell. That hell with exile, and war, and Dream.

-

In which Tommy, exiled hero of the DreamSMP, and Prince Tommy of the Antarctic Empire swap places, families are semi-reunited, and Dream causes problems (as always).

Shells in the Foam (a Hermit!Tommy fanfic) by Cedarwhisp21 [Rated T, 90720 words, incomplete, last updated January 2022]

When Dream attacks Tommy in Logestshire, Tommy runs. Badly injured, he somehow manages to slip between worlds and wakes up in a badlands biome, on a server far from home, with no other players in sight.

The Hermits are surprised when a new player logs in, and confused when no-one's at spawn. Five days later, after waiting for the new player to introduce themselves, Xisuma uses his admin abilities to access their coordinates. He takes Impulse with him to welcome the new player to Hermitcraft, but instead of the beginnings of a base, they find something a lot more concerning.

AU belongs to @pertrichormeraki on Tumblr. I just wanted to write something.

Somewhere New? by HoneyBee420 [Rated G, 2717 words, incomplete, last updated October 2021]

Passerine!Tommy and DSMP!Tommy switch places after each of their deaths, let's see where this will go.

you don't bring me flowers anymore by Shrai [Rated T, 33765 words, incomplete, last updated December 2021]

There's that deep visceral type of sadness that finds a home inside your bones and never seems to leave. Some days it's ignorable, just a minor obstacle in your day. Other times it's loud and true, grasping at every inch of your being and filling your senses with such emotion that it feels like it's too much. Regret, sadness, anger. All of them add up to what swallowed the brothers up whole: grief.

Even though they had Tommy back that feeling still rang true in their hearts. Their Tommy was still dead and gone, forgotten if fate decides it so. If this Tommy, this strange and broken and angry Tommy, stuck around, were they expected to forget about their Tommy?

~

or: i heard someone say "what if passerine wilbur and techno met dsmp tommy" and my brain has not stopped thinking since please

You Can't Whisper Above the Thunder (But You Can Fly Anywhere) by AliveAndRestless [Rated T, 20701 words, incomplete, last updated February 2021]

He hears birdsong.

That's the first thing he notices, when he's able to breathe past the pain in his ribs. When he opens his eyes to green leaves and a blue summer sky, he thinks he's dreaming. The sky is never blue in the Dream SMP, not after all the explosions. It's always tinged with grey, the scent of ash and wood smoke subtle in the air. When was the last time he was somewhere with clean air? Exile?

He sits up. The pain is blinding, but he grits his teeth against it, hands tight around the wound in his side. He looks around, really looks around, and it takes everything he has to keep from screaming. Nothing but woods on every side, trees swaying gently in a warm breeze, birds flittering from branch to branch. Fuck.

He falls back with a thump, and immediately regrets it, hissing in pain. Well, one thing's for sure. He's not in fucking Kansas anymore.

(Alternatively, Tommy gets gravely injured, and to save his life, Dream drop kicks him to a different server. Unfortunately for him, it has the opposite effect than what he was expecting.)

I like in Teen Titans that Robin’s mask is just as expressive as like cartoon spidey masks. Especially when they do this thing:

OR WHEN HE DOES THIS:

he’s so silly I love him lmao

couple of ranpoes