Whenever I Walk Past Someone Smoking A Cigarette I Breathe Really Deeply To Try And Get As Much Second-hand

wifey come home the kids miss you </3

thoughts on whether mac and dennis can ever admit their feelings for each other? mac is pretty clear about what he wants with dennis post his coming out but would dennis ever be able to do it at that point in his life?

i don't think in any timeline they will ever 'admit their feelings' for each other they are incapable of such things. best case scenario they snap one day and lunge for each other's throats and in the process of mutual murder they end up frotting or something

oh my gosh can u please provide links for that "favorite list of things glenn howerton has said/done"

[broken links updated 2/22/2025] 

omg i’m so sorry this is like. two months late probably i’m shit at answering asks but here u go (also this is the post in question):

told conan that he’s been with men, thinks brad pitt is hot, and considers himself a 6 on a scale of 1 (straight) to 10 (gay) right after his wife just had their first child

leaned onto his hand when a guy came up to the microphone to ask a question at comic con and interrupted before he could even start talking to say “what’s up beefcake?” [updated link]

said the dennis sex doll’s face is not what he looks like sucking dick

wore a $14 shirt from hot topic to a red carpet premiere of his own show [updated link, see also here and here]

said doing theater gave him opportunities with guys and girls, said “do I want a cock today?” and then in the same sentence as calling himself straight, said “you can have it all” in reference to both women and men

went to juilliard

listed the homosexual undertones in everything they say and do as his favorite running thing on sunny [updated link]

[to rob] “we were talking about what a wonderful lover you are and how caring you are afterwards” - this one’s in a loveline podcast that’s since been taken down, my friend listened to it and transcribed this and a few other parts but i’m not sure where she listened to it

got a comment about dick sucking advice directed at him during an interview instead of kaitlin, the straight woman who was sitting right next to him - same as the previous one, here’s the full quote: 

interviewer: “be aware that if a guy does meth and you swallow his semen you will test positive in a drug test, okay glenn?”

kait: “yeah glenn”

glenn: “i’ll keep that in mind”

responded to someone asking if coffee town was the first time he ever kissed a man by yelling NO, no, no, no, and then not elaborating beyond saying he hadn’t kissed men on sunny

said on tv that being gay is reflective of most people

was completely unfazed by a hot interviewer whose titties were so out that rob and charlie were avoiding looking at her and instead looked her dead in the eyes and asked if she agreed that some actor was a beefcake

listed sixteen candles and mulholland drive as movies that changed his life [udpated link]

listened to sufjan stevens [link is still correct but the tweet he was replying to was deleted so you’re just going to have to trust me]

named his cat ninjabean at the age of 27

said the name dick wolf made him think of “a man constantly hungry for dick” to which the interviewer replied that it was a rorschach test, absolutely dragging him through the mud [updated link]

wrote the words “drinky poo” in an actual script for his actual television show [updated link]

said, and I quote, “the stars aligned” for him and rob (i’m p sure this is the right podcast, idk what time it’s at though i’m sorry) [updated link]

lately i've been thinking "what if there was a show called hate on the spectrum and it's just about a bunch of autistic people who hate each other" and then i remembered it's always sunny in philadelphia exists

i am so obsessed with the interiority of sunny characters in a way that the creators definitely did not intend

Dennis + feeling faint

made on aggie a few weeks ago, thought it was appropriate for this occasion thou ♡

the greatest will-they-won't-they in television sitcom history. i guess.

Pet the puppy to calm him down, a firm yet gentle hand…