The "method"

How I Shift On Command + How You Can Too

I don’t plan on posting anything other than this or starting a blog, so I don’t need anyone to “believe” in me. The only person you should trust is yourself—trust yourself to resonate positively with what you see online and click away if it doesn’t serve you. This is here for you to take from if it resonates. I literally only made this blog to post this here. My hope is that it reaches at least one person who can take something from this and apply it to their shifting journey. If not, and this post ends up here untouched, I’m just glad to finally get everything down in words and off my chest. 

Jumping straight to the answer because I’m not going to make anyone sit through a long post for it. The rest, the "advice," is here if you want to read it.

The "method"

I figured out what works specifically for me as an individual instead of following everyone else’s journey. Everyone has their “thing” that makes shifting click, a sweet spot that makes reality shifting possible. For me, it’s a combination of the law of assumption and inducing an altered state of consciousness.

During the day, I spend time affirming—or sometimes just reminding myself or keeping a little note nearby—things like:

I can shift.

I know how to shift.

I could shift tonight.

Shifting is accessible to me.

At night, I watch videos, look at Pinterest boards, or listen to music that reminds me of my DR. This ingrains where I’m going in my brain. Sometimes I do this for fun, and other times I skip it entirely.

When I lay down, I always lie on my back and stay somewhat still because I like the feeling of my body going numb. This isn’t necessary to shift, but I enjoy it—it lets me feel the symptoms of hypnagogia (that in-between state of wakefulness and sleep).

To meditate quickly, I count from 1 to 100 with a few affirmations in between to remind myself of what I’m doing. I do this until my body goes numb, and I start messing up the counting. Usually, the mistakes or random, nonsensical thoughts are my signal to start shifting.

At this point, I begin affirming the things I affirmed during the day:

I could shift right now.

I have the ability to shift.

I have the power to shift at any moment.

While I do this, I focus on the feeling of being in my DR—not my surroundings, not my senses, just the internal feeling of being there.

This is where “brazen impudence” comes in. I hard-force myself to feel like I’m in my DR. It’s not about imagining my surroundings but purely about embodying the feeling of being there.

Hypnagogic imagery and sensations like floating often kick in at this point. These are symptoms of your body falling asleep so your awareness can take shape in that sweet spot for shifting.

I continue this, then stop and start counting from 1 to 100 again, with affirmations like:

I can shift.

I know how to shift.

I could shift right now.

Then I repeat the process: using brazen impudence to force myself to feel like I’m in my DR.

Eventually, I reach that threshold between sleep and wake—a liminal state of pure consciousness. Body asleep, mind awake, I call this the “rabbit hole” which is honstly just a deep state of hypnogogia. It’s a state where anything is possible: lucid dreaming, astral projection, slipping into the void, shifting—anything.

When I’m in this state, I use brazen impudence to force myself to feel like I'm shifting to my DR and don't take no for an answer (I tell myself I'm in Barbados and shut the door in my own face). This can involve affirmations or just talking myself through it, either way I wake myself up there. Occasionally, I simply relax, expect to wake up in my DR, fall asleep, and wake up shifted.

Does all that sound complicated? Let me simplify:

Lay down and get comfortable.

Count from 1 to 100 on a loop with affirmations in between until you mess up the counting, get sleepy, or have your mind wander. Like this:

Me: *counts from 1 - 100* Me: *says a few affirmations/askfirmations* Me: *counts from 1 - 100* Me: *says a few affirmations/askfirmations*

On a loop until...

Persist in the feel of being in your DR—not focusing on surroundings or senses, just the feeling. Feeling is the secret.

Alternate between steps 2 and 3 until you’re in that relaxed body asleep/mind awake state, OR just straight up hypnogogia tbh. (That is, if you don’t already shift lol)

From there, choose what feels right: shift from a lucid dream, affirm, slip into the void, or just feel yourself in your DR like I do, convince yourself that either you shifted and are there, or are shifting and will end up there.

One thing I’ll tell you now—regardless of your circumstances, how long you’ve been trying, how long it’ll take, who you are, etc—is that you already know how to shift. You, reading this right now. You know how to shift, and there’s nothing you did to learn it. There’s nothing you can do to unlearn it. It’s something that will stay with you until the end of time.

Why do you think people shift randomly without prior knowledge of shifting? Even people who don’t believe in it? It’s because everyone can shift. You can shift.

Right now, stop reading this post and say in your head or out loud, “I already know how to shift.” Or, if that doesn’t feel right, “I already have the ability to shift,” “No matter what, I have the power to shift,” or “My mind knows how to shift no matter what.”

Can you argue that? No, you can’t. And if your mind starts throwing out “buts,” go back and read that again.

Shifting isn’t difficult, and no one struggles to shift. I’m sure you’ve heard it before—that shifting is simple and happens in seconds—because it does. You don’t struggle with shifting. You can shift; everyone has the power to. What you “struggle” with, so to speak, is figuring out what works for you, what your brain likes, how it operates—because everyone is different.

What ended up working for me more than anything was figuring out how I operate and modifying shifting to fit me—not forcing myself to fit shifting.

Will my method work for everyone? I have no idea. Unless you assume it will work for you, this is what works for me. I’m me, and you’re you.

Before you say “Oh, but I’ve tried everything and nothing has worked so far” and expect me to sit here and ask you “but have you really tried everything? <3” , listen to me. 

I could shift perfectly well with my own personal method before I started shifting regularly. I knew it worked well for my brain, but the thing that “blocked” me (so to speak) were my assumptions. 

When you sit there and say “I’ve tried everything and nothing has worked” that’s your assumption about yourself. You believe that nothing works for you, that you don't know how to shift, that you’re this powerless, lost baby shifter who needs guidance. 

There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s not your fault, and theoretically you could shift even with your “blockages” (I really hate that term), as shifting waits for no one.

This is why so many people shift randomly and with poor assumptions without meaning to. But you clicked on this because you want to know how you can shift consistently + on every time, and this is the answer I’m giving you. 

You find out what works better for you, be it affirming, visualizing, scripting, shifting awake, shifting asleep, shifting with hypnagogia, shifting with hypnopompic, shifting through lucid dreams, shifting with brazen impudence, through SATs, robotic affirming, through letting go, through putting your DR on a pedestal, through listening to music, through law of assumption alone, and many more. 

If that sounds overwhelming, please note that all of these are the same vehicles that get you to your destination. Just in different shapes and colors. Like how some people drive a car, others drive a motorcycle, others walk, others swim. The movement forward is always the same. 

What you’re doing, no matter how you’re doing it or in whatever state of consciousness you’re doing it from, will always be:

Assume it's true, feel it, receive it. “Assume and persist,” “ground yourself in the assumption,” you’ve heard it all before. 

How to Find What Makes You Shift On Command

You could either test different techniques (affirmations, visualizations, scripting, lucid dreaming, etc.) and see what feels natural to you. 

You could (and I love this one because it’s a cheat code) Assume you already know what works, and let the law of assumption guide you. “Manifest it” so to speak. 

Pay attention to your life, because you already shift on command, you've been doing it your whole life, but I guarantee you haven't noticed it. Pay attention to you, like how easily you slip into hypnagogia, your dream recall, or how strong your intuition is, maybe you put too much emotion into a scenario you don’t want in your life and it inherently manifests, things like that. Pay attention to the thing that makes you go “huh, that was weird”

“But Clover, I tried everything you mentioned above and still haven’t found my method!” 

My darling. Listen up. Come closer—I’m about to let you in on a secret. The way you apply the law of assumption isn’t one-size-fits-all, because assumptions and beliefs are not linear. It's the same every time, yes, it's a law. But just like you, the way you can use it is unique to each person.

Let me tell you how easy it is so you don't think I'm over-complicating it

You could, for instance, believe you’ve got $1000 in your bank account right now and act like it, fully living in the end. Or you could believe you’re going to have $1000 in your account and act like it’s already on its way. Or maybe you believe something’s going to happen that’ll bring you that $1000.

The same applies to shifting. It’s been a game changer for me. I used to struggle so much with things like:

“You’re already in your DR, just act like it.”

“Ignore the 3D.”

“You’ve already shifted.”

Do those methods work? Absolutely, they work beautifully. But like I said, if it doesn’t feel good or true to you, don’t force it.

My dearest, darling reader. If the story you see in your 3D is that you can’t shift, can’t find what makes you shift, are you just going to sit there and accept it? What is more satisfying? Think with me here: accepting that you don’t know how to shift and cannot shift, or persisting that you do know how to shift? 

“Clover, but I’ve been trying for 4 years! I’ve tried everything and I still haven’t shifted”

So that's your story? Your story, your assumption is that you’ve been trying for 4 years and haven’t shifted? If you’ve resonated with the phrase above, that’s your story. And there’s nothing wrong with it, but! there will be no magic solution for shifting. Or a magic method. Or a person like me giving you advice, that can make you shift without you changing your assumptions first.

“But I don’t want to reprogram my mind! It doesn’t work for me. I don’t want to do robotic affirming 24/7, I want results now!” 

I know, right? It’s annoying having to do these 100-step methods, and drink charged water, and have to beg the universe for your desire, and loop affirmations in your mind that directly contradict what you’re experiencing in the 3D.

“Oh ignore the 3D, the 4D is your only real imagination!” they say, as you sit there, clutching your phone, rocking back and forth in bed, repeating affirmations you don’t resonate with while dreaming of being railed by your S/O.

Believe me, I've been there, wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I asked myself why couldn't these basic steps that worked for everyone else work for me. I blamed myself for not trying hard enough, for being lazy, for inconsistent. When all that time, the answer was me. I needed to manifest/shift in a way that felt good for me.

Just remember, the law of assumption isn't complicated, and the way you apply it is not one-size-fits-all. Reprogramming the mind through continuous repetition and affirmation works, and if that resonates with you or feels effective, you should absolutely go for it.

However, at its core, you don’t inherently need to reprogram your mind. It’s as simple as assuming your mind has already been reprogrammed and watching it unfold before your eyes. You do what feels right to you.

For example, if person A does better with visualization and listening to music, why on earth are they affirming and listening to subliminals?

If person B feels better scripting in a notebook, why the hell are they reprogramming their mind?

If person C feels good reprogramming their mind, why are they taking the simple route?

Funny, isn't it? Which is why if you've read all of this so far, and you have not resonated with it, just click away. Go find another post or advice that feels true to you. The words I'm writing right now are not universal, they're not the absolute truth. That's the beauty of the law of assumption. Whatever you believe to be true, becomes true.

I didn’t feel good with the affirmations “I’m already in my DR” and “I already shifted.” Do they work, are they true? Yup, but I didn’t feel good ignoring the 3D, even when I knew the 4D was the true reality. So I swapped them for affirmations like "I'm shifting to my DR", “I’m going to shift to my DR”, swapping things like “I already shifted” to “I’m shifting” because those are the kinds of affirmations my brain loves. 

I've heard a silly bit of misinfo that these affirmations stating future events put you in an infinite loop, and that they don’t make you achieve your desire. That’s not true? At all? Makes me laugh, really. Because here I am, “master shifter” or whatever name people give it in this reality, shifting as much as I want to wherever I want with these types of affirmations.

Yet here I see every day on the internet, people implanting stubborn little rules and regulations to a practice that has been done for ages, a universal law that will work even when you don’t care for it to work. 

How I Shifted The First Time

The law of assumption is what made me shift in the end. Initially, I surprised myself at the beginning of my shifting journey because I shifted three months after starting it. I woke up one morning in my DR room, felt it was real, knew it was possible, but accidentally shifted back because it was too good to be true. 

What followed was a period of losing my mind; I shift back to my DR for a few seconds (mini-shifts), fully shifted to different rparallel ealities, and filled the hell out of shifting journals with my discoveries as I went along. But I never fully shifted to my DR and stayed there. I wanted to permashift. I was so focused on leaving my CR and going to my DR permanently, frustrated because I knew I could shift, knew how to in theory, but was stuck in this endless loop of assuming I couldn't make myself shift and had to rely on spontaneous shifts.

And then one night it clicked when I was reflecting on the law of assumption and reality shifting. I knew shifting was real. I knew I could shift. Everyone can shift. I had shifted before. I would continue to shift even if I gave up on shifting. I could shift that night if I wanted to. I could shift that night even if I didn't want to. I knew how to shift. And so do you.

These are all assumptions I went to sleep with in mind, laying there, feeling like an idiot as it all clicked for me. 

If there was no doubt in my mind that I could shift that night, why wouldn’t I be able to shift? 

What followed was an overwhelming sense of peace washing over me. I let go. What more was there to be done? I could shift. There was no crying or screaming that could make me shift more than I could right then. 

I laid there and started my process. Just like I mentioned earlier. I began counting from 1 - 100 on a continuous loop. With affirmations that I could shift, I knew how to shift , I could shift that night.

And then I reached hypnagogia, and began inducing the feeling of being in my DR, just like I mentioned earlier. That liminal space rabbit hole shortly followed. I could go anywhere I wanted then. I could lucid dream. I could astral project. I could slip into the void. I could shift, and I did. Just…letting go and inducing the feeling of being in my DR. Not the surroundings, not the 5 senses, no affirmations. Just knowing that I was in my Dr. 

It was peaceful. 

I was at ease. 

And then I was woken up by a violent crack of thunder because my dumbass scripted my DR wakeup scenario to be in the middle of spring, and it was raining -_- 

I woke up in my DR, fully grounded, fully there, pinching my skin purple because I couldn't believe I was looking out the window at my DR city.

I wish I could tell you that I remained cool, but I so didn’t. I sat in bed for a good 10 minutes, mouth agape, repeating “oohh fuck it’s real….ohhh my god it’s real…whaaat the hell.” 

And then I paced around my room panicking, giggling like an idiot, checking my DR phone because all my friends and DR life was on there as evidence, opening drawers, looking at myself in the mirror, and straight-up freaking out. 

What followed after that was incredible, something I lack the words to describe. I spent a few weeks in my DR before shifting back, spending a few weeks here and then shifting back–here, back, here, back and forth, spending more time in my DR then my CR to the point where I consider my DR my true reality, and this one as my “other” reality. 

I shifted back here in early December of last year, and I’m here now before I shift back permanently—meaning, I’ll shift there, and then the next time I shift will be to another DR or a waiting room somewhere in the multiverse. I’m taking a "break" so to speak and hanging out here until events I scripted in my DR start to happen, and my life changes (positively, all good things I assure). 

I’m not sure if the person or people who find this post will care, but my other reality was originally called my “Witch DR”, where, as the name suggests, I’m a witch :) But not the fun kind, with a broomstick, a cauldron, and a pet cat though 😂The kind where I have to be up early for work in the mornings, can’t keep a cat because the building I live in doesn’t allow it, and have more responsibilities there than I do in this reality. 

One thing I didn’t expect about shifting before I lived there the first time is that—it’s life. You will have good days. You will have bad days. You will fuck up. You will laugh so hard that soda comes out of your nose. You will cry more than you ever have. And the people you once saw on a TV screen are very real, and can be very annoying lol. I miss my DR friends dearly right now, but I can’t go poking around the internet for videos and pictures of them because it feels so weird. 

Gut feelings are strange. I use them as a compass in both realities whenever I have to manually flap the butterfly’s wings and take a route. I felt compelled to write this post, and I’m not sure why. But if what this post has the power to help one singular person and help them realize their power, I'll be beyond happy.

More Posts from Ohsilco and Others

1 month ago
Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween

1 month ago
I Love Making Shifting Related Photos/collages Like This, Its Therapeutic And Motivating At The Same
I Love Making Shifting Related Photos/collages Like This, Its Therapeutic And Motivating At The Same
I Love Making Shifting Related Photos/collages Like This, Its Therapeutic And Motivating At The Same

i love making shifting related photos/collages like this, its therapeutic and motivating at the same time.

1 month ago

The long awaited method : HMM for self hypnosis towards the void, enter under 2min.

The Long Awaited Method : HMM For Self Hypnosis Towards The Void, Enter Under 2min.
The Long Awaited Method : HMM For Self Hypnosis Towards The Void, Enter Under 2min.
The Long Awaited Method : HMM For Self Hypnosis Towards The Void, Enter Under 2min.

WARNING : this method is quite powerful, it's not a method on directly entering the void, but it's a method I've perfected to be able to induce the void INSTANTLY under 5 minutes, given by on how to hypnotize yourself.

Please make sure you're ready for this, and you have a clear mind for this, self hypnosis is extremely powerful and if done rightly? It helps immensely, the chances after this to enter the void is 90%, you know what the 10% is for, belief and trust in this method.

Let's start.

The Long Awaited Method : HMM For Self Hypnosis Towards The Void, Enter Under 2min.

Introduction:

This method is something I've stumbled on long before, and I just remembered how it may actually help those with a limit in their mind that does not let them enter the void, first of all, props to the person who make this trance inducing method which is using the magic magnet fingers, and since I'm pairing it with the void, I'll call it Hibiscus's Mind Magnet, or just HMM for short.

This method requires you to sit down somewhere quiet, somewhere with limit sound, does not matter if there's light or not, simply sit somewhere comfortably and I urge you to do a small mini meditation before hand if your mind is crowded, best time to do so is when you wake up.

The steps:

Sit comfortably. (Has to sit)

If having crowded thoughts, meditate for a clearer mind.

Set your suggestion : a suggestion is something you want to stick deep into your subconscious, aka "I always enter the void under 2 minutes."

You can use any other suggestions, this is just for the void I'm explaining now, now that your mind is calm, everything is ready, simply begin by clasping your fingers in front of yourself together and leaving the two index fingers to stick above.

Now, look and focus at the space between those two fingers, okay? Now begin to imagine that ok either sides of your palm, there's two big magnets.

Stare at the space between the fingers, in a moments time when you let go, you see your fingers actually getting pulled subconsciously together like magnets, and eventually you'll feel this sudden pull of your own face towards it, at this point, continue to stare at it UNTIL your indexes hit each other.

Now you begin to realize even your eyelids are tired and droopy, that's the perfect state, now gently lower your hand in your lap and close your eyes, let the fatigue wash over you, you'll feel lightheaded and dizzy, this, is the perfect state called the Trance state.

Begin by saying your suggestion slowly, simply affirming deeply by saying "I always enter the void under 2 minutes." And only use one suggestion please.

When you feel ready, and you feel done, that's when you're done with this trance state, to get out, begin by forcing yourself to focus things around you, the blanket underneath you perhaps, the hands in your lap, and slowly open your eyes again.

Done, you have just hypnotized yourself, and remember, results can show in just one session, but if you're doubtful, it will take more than one session, do this before attempting for the void and simply go on with ANY method of the void, you'll succeed.

Good luck ml! I hope I made myself clear, and please remember I won't be online here for a couple of days as I have been too much on here and it's affecting my studying, either way, good luck and whatever questions you have I'll answer later, happy void!

Edit// for those who don't understand the hand part and how to clasp it:

It's like this

The Long Awaited Method : HMM For Self Hypnosis Towards The Void, Enter Under 2min.
The Long Awaited Method : HMM For Self Hypnosis Towards The Void, Enter Under 2min.
1 month ago
Why Is He So Cute???

Why is he so cute???

Why Is He So Cute???
1 month ago

The hypnagogic state : how to reach it.

The Hypnagogic State : How To Reach It.
The Hypnagogic State : How To Reach It.
The Hypnagogic State : How To Reach It.

The hypnagogic state is a state where we naturally go into before sleeping, a sweet spot moment before sleeping and still being awake, a state where it is so powerful to be able to shift, get in the void, or basically do anything.

Now it requires NOTHING, it only requires one small thing that might sound tricky.

Staying awake long enough for it to come by on it's own, and actually on average it takes 10-5 mins from each person to enter it aware.

The steps:

Lay flat on your back (not needed, but many results come from laying on the back)

Do. Not. Care, just go with what you usually do to fall asleep, but one thing? You're not falling asleep, you're watching your body fall asleep, that sweet spot where your body is about to fall asleep? That's hypnagogia

Actually don't move, it may give your mind signs you're still not sleeping, now just lay there and try not to sleep while focusing on the blackness behind your eyelids.

You will start seeing flashing images or swirly things or even just flashing lights and imagery, this is the hypnagogia and you managed to reach it in just 10 mins of pretending to be asleep (acc it takes me 4)

Bam, that's the sweet spot, now affirm slowly for the void, or just sense your surroundings for shifting or maybe you can try your shifting method here! This state cannot argue back, you'll be immediately shifting in no time, and slipping in the void is so easy from it.

So really the whole steps is just "lay down, don't move, watch your eyelids, color seen? Hypnagogia reached, method or void procedure done, bam."

I managed to find a post on Reddit on how to keep your body awake, you can try 2 or 3 of them to keep yourself entertained, FULL CREDITS TO THE ONE WHO POSTED IT ON REDDIT (calaie_iscoolio):

"1. Looking in the darkness behind your eyelids

Basically what it says, when you close your eyes, just focus on the darkness until hypnagogic imagery begins to happen i.e. colors, shapes, literally anything that will show. When images begin to show up, do not interact or acknowledge what you are seeing, you can look at it, but don't try to control it and just let the images flow until you feel that the state is induced enough to where it won't disappear because you are "too" awake/aware.

2. "Forearm Up" Method

Another technique that basically helps with people who tend to fall asleep to quickly, basically lay down on your back like usual, lift your hand up in the air where your elbow is resting on your mattress, keep it there and as it slowly falls down that's where you'll begin to fall asleep, it'll drop and basically awake you back up.

I had also seen a shifter mention that they prefer to lay on their stomach and lifting their foot up in the air and basically do the same thing. This technique basically just wakes you back up.

3. Thomas Edison Method

Very similar to the "Forearm Up" Method, basically what Edison had done was he had held a steel ball in his hand, and when he began to fall asleep, the ball will drop and alert Edison awake, another technique to help with people to struggle to stay awake.

4. Imagine Constant Motion

Basically imagining something whether that be an animal or an object constantly moving like a horse galloping, a dogs tail wagging side to side, etc. (Pretty simple, for people who find it much easier to visualize).

5. Tire your body through out the day

During the day, you could do any tasks that would just tire your body out that leads up to your attempt to induce the state, it'll make it much easier for you to get into the state and induce it since your body is already tired enough to relax.

6. Repeating "hypnagogia"

This will mean you have you just repeat the words "hypnagogia" to yourself till you get tired enough and then hypnagogic imagery will eventually appear.

7. Counting

Basically just like regular shifting methods, you could focus on counting up to how much you want to until you begin to get the hypnagogic hallucinations, to keep yourself from falling asleep you could give yourself simple math questions just so it's enough to focus to answer it.

8. Imagining Randomness

Imagine literally anything that isn't related at all, i.e. horse, roof, apple, pen, desk, etc. Visualize and filter through random objects or animals that have no correlation and that will induce the hypnagogic imagery, randomness is key.

9. Focus on breathing

Similar to any shifting method, basically focusing on your breaths is another technique to induce the state. Literally just anything to keep your awareness occupied rather than letting your mind just shut down to go to sleep.

10. Sounds

Listening to anything in your environment, whether that be things happening outside, if it's raining listen to the rain, or if you've got headphones on listen to the music and focus that, keep your focus on the music so you don't fall asleep.

11. "Playing" a song in your head

Not necessarily listening to the song, but imagining the song playing in your head, whether that be your favorite song, if you know how it sounds like, imagine it playing and once you've entered the state, it will naturally play and you'll end up actually hearing the song.

12. Heartbeat

Basically just focus on your heartbeat. Listen to the amount of beats.

These are all the various of techniques you could use, you don't have to stick to one and can basicaally try them out, see which one you feel like works for you and go from there. A tip is also you could pick like 4 or 5 out of these 12 and just filter through the techniques if you can't just stick to one since you get uninterested quickly. (I get bored easily, do I normally do 8, 9, 7 and 4 just so I don't lose interest.)"

Good luck y'all!

1 month ago

another reddit post ↓

kinda motivating as well, i’ve been detached from shifting for some reason, like i can’t find anything to do, i have free time but i also don’t have it 😭 please friends help me lol

Another Reddit Post ↓
1 month ago
ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 1x05 - "Everybody Wants To Be My Enemy"
ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 1x05 - "Everybody Wants To Be My Enemy"

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 1x05 - "Everybody Wants to Be My Enemy"

1 month ago
   we Were Always Going Home ,
   we Were Always Going Home ,

   we were always going home ,

yes, i have shifted, more than ten times, if you’re the sort who counts miracles like matchsticks or notches on a headboard. i am not. i do not tally my miracles like debts to be repaid. they arrive not as triumphs, but as returns. familiar. like a song i almost forgot i knew until i was humming it again, accidentally, under the breath of my dreaming.

i do not care if you believe me. i say that without spite. belief was never a prerequisite for truth. you do not have to clap for the moon to rise, nor bow to the ocean to be pulled under. reality does not ask for applause. it simply is.

i shifted after four years. four years of thinking maybe i was broken in some exquisite, cosmic way, cracked just wide enough to want, never wide enough to have. four years of collecting every method like seashells, pressing each one to my ear and listening for home. sometimes i heard static. sometimes i heard blood. sometimes i heard nothing at all. 

there were nights i didn't think i'd live to see morning. i say that with the softest voice possible, not for pity, but because it's true. i don't mean metaphorical dark nights of the soul, i mean the real ones. the kind where your body's still, but your mind is clawing at the walls, begging for a window. the kind where shifting wasn't some spiritual hobby or escapist whim, but a lifeline. a rope thrown into the pit.

i don't know who i would've been if i hadn't believed. not the glowing kind of belief. not the pretty kind. but the cracked, ugly kind. the kind that crawls. the kind that gasps, "please, just let me wake up somewhere else."

so when i say i shifted, i don't say it lightly. it wasn't a party trick. it was a resurrection.

quiet. not cinematic. not some thunderclap of fate. it was a shift like how morning happens, slowly, and then all at once. i remember going to sleep in my room, wrapped in some terrible hoodie, the air stale with the smell of forgetting. and then, like a breath i didn't know i'd been holding: i am there. not will be. not want to be. not maybe one day. i am. right now. here. and there.

it didn't feel like magic. it felt like choosing god, even if you don't know who god is. like giving yourself permission to walk on water not because it's easy, but because the alternative is drowning.

the assumption wasn't loud. it was a hum. a bassline beneath everything. and the moment i tuned into it, the world bent. not to serve me, but to meet me. like it was always trying to.

this is how i got there: i assumed i was there. i used the law.

i wish i had something more elegant to offer. a potion. a spell. a hundred-counted ritual. i don't. i have only assumption. not the performance of it, but the private, unwavering kind. the kind that does not blink. the kind that plants a flag in the dirt and says, "this is mine, because i said so."

i said i was there. so i was. not overnight. not in a blaze of light. it happened like a thread slipping through the eye of a needle, one slow stitch at a time. i told the air around me that my dr was real. i told the silence. i told the toothbrush in my hand, the toothpaste cap i dropped on the floor, the moth blinking against the bathroom light.

i didn't have to fight for it anymore. i didn't have to prove myself worthy. desire is not a courtroom, and the universe is not a jury. i stopped begging. i started being. and slowly, the scaffolding of this reality dissolved.

this wasn't faith. faith is something you carry with trembling hands. this was certainty. this was sitting still long enough for the river to realise it already knew your name. this was recognising that shifting was not a door you unlock with the right key, but a room you have already lived in. the furniture remembers your weight. the walls still echo your voice.

i shifted because i remembered.

and i kept remembering. even when it felt stupid. even when it hurt. even when the forum girls sighed and the scripting girls cried and the cynics said i was lost in a fantasy. maybe i was. but so is everyone. some people just settle for worse ones.

this is what i know: you can get there too. you are not cursed. you are not exempt. the moment you stop performing belief and start inhabiting it, like a house, like a skin, like an inheritance, you will see.

it is not far. it is next. it is with. it is just beyond the veil of doubt, waiting to be spoken aloud like a name that's always been yours.

you do not have to be special. you do not have to be chosen. you do not need a voice in the sky or a star to fall at your feet. you only need to decide. quietly. daily. like it's brushing your teeth. like it's feeding the dog. like it's the most ordinary miracle in the world.

let it be that simple. let it be that unremarkable. you were never meant to earn it. only to remember it. only to open your hands and realise they've been holding the key the whole time.

assume. not with fear, but with fondness. not with hunger, but with homecoming.

and if you don't believe yet, pretend. not out of desperation, but out of reverence. act like you are there not because it will trick the world, but because it will tune you to it. reality doesn't respond to panic. it responds to presence.

so say the toothbrush is yours. say the air smells different. say the cereal tastes sweeter. say the light is warmer. say your name with a little more certainty. you don't need proof. you are the proof.

and do not ask yourself how again. ask when. ask what now. ask am i ready to walk through the door i've been holding shut with both hands all this time?

because the door is open. the light is on. your seat is warm. your name is carved in the table.

come back.

   we Were Always Going Home ,
1 month ago
"That's My Comfort Character."

"That's my comfort character." <- and it's a character who causes me distress everytime I think about him for too long.

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ohsilco - valerie
valerie

silco lovebot⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

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