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there was no perfect path. you did not get punished. your life did not unravel when you made a left turn. the memory will always be there. you can visit whenever you want. there is no alternate timeline where you made a better choice and got a happier ending. you were a little girl chasing the ice cream truck, playing hopscotch, swinging and aiming for the never ending blue. yes, the grief was waiting up ahead. but so was the miracle of saturdays in a car headed wherever you wanted to go. enough sky to wrap around every wound. friends who, despite your perennial bouts of silence, kept an ear close at all times.

A poem to a past version of myself -

I’ve always loved the thunder and rain; much more than the civilized sun.

Maybe because I had a gift for seeing the beauty in where others saw somber.

Perhaps this is why I find the best traits in a person filled with flaws.

The potential spark of light in a body of darkness.

Sure, the sun is loved and known for it’s bright beams;

But lightning cracking in overcast has the same quality.

Does she not deserve to be admired?

When that violet voltage strikes, scurry quickly for you might miss the swift illumination amongst the shadowy sky.

Look! There is some semblance of light!

I try to convince…

If I could reach out and touch that beautiful disaster I would.

Perhaps this is why I’ve repeatedly let charming hazards in to fill me violently.

. . .

I’ve always seen myself in the rain.

In the thunder.

In the lightning.

When I see another filled with rain, filled with thunder— I can’t help but want to create a storm.

Yet what the naïve girl in me failed to see;

I wanted to use the rain to feed the flowers,

You wanted to cause a flood.

競宴 - ポートフォリオ

“Witch-woman, burning goddess, every woman bears within her soul the figure of the witch,”Erica Jong, from Witches; “The Figure of the Witch,” written c. 1981 Cameron, “Peyote Vision,”

this is going to be difficult -> i am capable of doing difficult things -> i have done everything prior to this moment -> this difficulty will soon be proof of capability

Lapland

really wish i could hide from the world inside a giant tree within a quiet forest while it rains rn