Me, Unsure Of How To Add An Additional Piece Of Context To My Sentence:

white boy shocks waiter by ordering in terrible chinese and then killing himself at the table

they're witches <3

a big sticky bug ruined the machine with its guts. The gluey guts of the bug destroys the mechanism. The gears of the device cannot move because of the tar slop bug innards caught between the teeth. The big iron engine is smoking and sparking as a huge bug that is wettly dead starts to get cooked by friction.

some one just put a cup over me and they’re looking for a paper to slide under me LOL gonna break out from this cup while they’re distracted

I’ve come here to make an announcement! Shadow the hedgehog’s a JOLLY ass NICE LISTER! He GAVE PRESENTS to my fucking wife. That’s right! He took his hedgehog fuckin BURLAP SACK out and GAVE A GIFT to my fucking wife, and he said his BELLS were “this JINGLY!” and i said “that’s JOLLY!” So i’m making a callout-post on my twitter dot com: Shadow the hedgehog your STOCKING’S FULLA COAL and guess what? Here’s what my STOCKING looks like! 💣💣💣💣💣💥💥💥💥 That’s right baby! No coal! No sticks! No itchy sweaters! Look at that it looks like CANDYCANES and TOYS! He GIFTED my wife so guess what? I’m gonna GIFT the world! That’s right! This is what you get! My super RED-NOSED REINDEER!

More of the coraline au 1/2

I have been so utterly transfixed by this phrase lately.

I find myself saying this out lout whenever I feel stumped by any conversation. Any time a conversation gets kinda stupid and people start saying unnecessary things I immediately have a strong compulsion to say "uh... white person here. i jack off to goombas from the super mario bros games"

my daughter Divorce Lawyer is not doing well socially

u can count on me to do the wrong thing

that man making you feel on edge and anxious all of the time is not your soulmate