Hospital AU I Came Up With A While Ago

Hospital AU I came up with a while ago

So Dr Iplier and Dr Schneep are both doctors (duh) at the same hospital and all of the other egos are patients who are always in the hospital

Dark gets chronic pain and Wilford is an overconcerned husband who is prone to taking him to the hospital at every little ache

Wilford is one of five members of the hospital’s Dumbass Five, who have been in for everything and anything

Just for example though, Wilford’s last trip in an ambulance involved a candy store, Dark’s vintage convertible (which is now totally trashed), six bottles of white wine, and a broken arm and concussion

Yandereplier is Wil and Dark’s kid who is both always in for their dad and seeking information about options for medications and surgery for trans kids. Iplier has a habit of tutoring them in chemistry when they do homework in the waiting room

King is the local hippie who has to come in for a rabies check every five seconds cause GODDAMNIT KING NOT EVERY WILD RODENT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND *insert various cursing*

Bim is always finding an excuse to be in the hospital, which is due to a combination of him being overdramatic about every injury, his boyfriend getting him constantly attacked by animals, his best friend’s habit of doing death defying magic tricks, and his strange obsession with organs and blood

Eric is a high school kid who is always in and out from suspicious injuries that can never be directly linked to his dad but judging by the way Dr Iplier always stands between Eric and his dad, the staff seems to have a theory

Ed is Eric’s neighbour who is pretty much acting as his guardian along with Bim, Eric’s dad’s ex-boss, but on Eric’s first trip to the hospital Ed shook hands with Dr Iplier and went into anaphylactic shock. Now he’s in almost as much as Eric because this idiot refuses to carry around medication for his deathly allergy to latex

Bing is the second member of the infamous Dumbass Five who most recently drowned and got electrocuted when he tried to jump a pool with a skateboard while carrying a boom box

The Googles are all brothers who have the shittiest luck on planet earth cause 3/4 of them have a chronic illness of some sort

Oliver has severe asthma

Green is very very diabetic

Red has epilepsy

And Blue is the stressed out older brother just trying to keep his family together (on the plus side, he met a really cute idiot named Bing in the waiting room during Red’s last trip and got his number)

Host is both constantly visiting his husband and constantly suffering from ignoring his hemophilia. He basically has a bed in the ICU reserved for him

Silver “accidentally” took too many antidepressants after his best friend died of suicide. Too many late shifts seeing this guy sobbing from nightmares in the psych ward lead to Dr Iplier offered him a volunteer position dressing as a superhero to cheer up sick kids. His depression seems to have gotten much better since then

The Jims are three and four of the Dumbass Five. It’s not their fault they got so scared after using their ouija board on a haunted bridge that they accidentally ran off of it. Really.

Reynolds/Randall has been in a record number of construction accidents. But what he’s more famous for in the hospital is the time that Eric came in with a broken nose, followed by Derrick coming in with numerous injuries, and finally Reynolds coming in with a broken knuckle and a smile on his face

Anti is immunocompromised, meaning every little cough and sneeze can get him sick as all hell. He’s made it his life mission to annoy the hell out of Schneep whenever he’s in, cause if he’s gonna be miserable in a hospital, then he’s gonna make sure everyone you else is too

Chase is always in and out of the hospital’s stay in wing for addicts. Schneep has a soft for him and tends to sneak candy in for Chase’s kids whenever they visit. Chase is super close to making him the kids’ godfather

Did I mention death defying magic tricks? Marvin has been hung, burned, drowned, stabbed, sawed in half, suffocated, and everything in between. All in the name of “the show must go on”

Jackie rounds out the last of the Dumbass Five. His feats are slightly more noble then the others. Still, if he ends up with internal bleeding because he ran into a collapsing house to save a dog one more time, Schneep is gonna have an aneurysm

JJ went through... something. He has severe vocal damage and scars along his neck. He’s also always visiting Scneep and the other chronic patients with gifts. Only Schneep knows for a fact what happened to him but he always gets really sad when it’s brought up

Finally there’s Robbie, Anti’s kid brother who has the same disease as him. Basically the entire nursing staff has decided to adopt him at this point and Schneep is inclined to agree

(This AU includes some headcanons and ships I got from @doctordiscord123 and her ego manor/Dad AU. Definitely go check her out if anything here intrigues you, she’s amazing)