Poor Pack Of Cigarettes, Ron's Watching Her Like A Hawk Watching A Baby Sheep

sorry i'm being an absent friend i'm being an absent self too

a few minutes ago, at exactly midnight, i heard soft distant honking and looked out the cracked window to see a group of trumpeter swans flying low over the fields, huge and white and unearthly, their shadows flung crisp-black onto glittering snow by the moonlight, and then they were gone and a moment later their voices were gone too and in the wake of them was a sort of loneliness that is hard to quite get words around

He’s f—ing dead! SUCCESSION — 4x03: Connor’s Wedding

'Bear with me' by Thomas Theodor Heine, 1901

don't care didn't ask plus ash nazg durbatulûk ash nazg gimbatul ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul

adhd gothic

- your alarm rings but you are too tired. you set an alarm for five minutes later and go back to sleep. when you wake again, it is light outside and the alarm never went off. it was set for five hours later. you could have sworn you set it to five minutes later.

- your clothes are organized in piles on the bedroom floor. occasionally a shirt moves from one pile to another. you do not remember moving it.

- your desk at work is organized but not. “i have a system” you tell yourself. you are worried someone will discover the truth. you must not let others know you are struggling. your desk at work is organized but not.

- you did not take your meds. your brain is static. you did take your meds. your brain is accelerated static. last week your meds worked well. are they working well today? did you remember to take them? did you even refill your prescription last month?

- your assignment is due in november. it is september. your assignment is not due soon. it is end of october, but your assignment is not due until november. it is november 15th. where is your assignment? you go to bed, it is now november 27th. why do you turn in work late?

- you go to work to make money. you know you make money because you are told you do. your bank account doesn’t change much. you spend more because you are told you make money. you haven’t looked at your bank account for a few weeks now. it makes you anxious.

- there was something you were supposed to do. you didn’t do it, and you disappointed someone. you do not know who. it will come to you eventually, perhaps.

- you trip over a half-knit scarf. one of the needles is missing. you tried to learn knitting a year ago and forgot about the scarf. how long has this been on the floor? where is the other needle? you do not remember how to knit.

- you find yourself growing bored and unconsciousness slips into your periphery. you throw yourself into your work. if you are busy you will not sleep. if you are bored you will sleep. fight the sleep as long as you can. you cannot sleep at night.

- you do not eat and you eat too much. 

- your friends ask why you do not reply to their messages. it is overwhelming and you are so tired. you send too many messages at once and are filled with guilt. your friends keep texting you and you do not know why.

- your eyes blur when you read. you skim the words and do not retain. you skimmed this post and did not retain. you do not remember what the first bullet on this post was. you might not have read this last bullet, either. you will still tag the post as though you read it. you understand its essence, and that is okay.