oxenfreee

Latest Posts by oxenfreee

Winter'21/22 reset prep & plan

Hi angels, it's been a minute since my last blog post but I'm back and ready for a much needed transformation.

Winter is the PERFECT time for a reset and for getting yourself back on track after a detour (which are very common and very normal and totally okay!)

I myself haven't been feeling so great lately, due to a combination of things, a lack of time and energy and I haven't been doing the things that make me feel like me and I have felt like in certain situations, I've violated my own boundaries and abounded my values for the sake of others and a few events in my life completely changed the way I view the world, myself and others. But this is not what this post is about, this post is for anyone that feels like they need a fresh start or feels like they need to get back on track! (although I def have to make a few posts about some of these topics because they are SO important)

You need a fresh start before new year's so you can become the best version of yourself. You do not want to be making major changes without addressing your current problems.

Grab a pice of paper and pen and get ready to dig deep! Remember the theme of this is RESET.

Phase 1 (plan)

Figure out what you want out of this reset. Everyone's journey is different. I personally want to get back to where I was, you could want to turn a new page after heartbreak, or you could want to completely abandon your old life and your old self and start from the beginning. Everyone's going to have different needs, identify them.

Reflect on your current situation

Figure out exactly which areas of your life that you've neglected, and find out why

Identify bad habits you want to get rid of

Identify your triggers

Try to get a clear idea of where you want to be at the end of winter (this is going ti be different for everyone)

Notice if anything's been bothering you lately (do you seem to have less energy, are you forgetting things easily, that sort of thing)

Remember good habits/ routines you had implemented but now no longer engage in

Identify the situations/ people/ events/ habits that do not serve you, and let go of them

If it does not make you feel good, it has no place in your life

Find out which situations/ trauma remain unresolved, and sit with yourself for while and try to work them. Feel free to reach out to someone if needed.

Shadow work is perfect for this!!

Get crystal clear on who you are as an individual, what you stand for, what you believe in, what you like, what you dislike, etc. get to know yourself!

re-examine your goals and re-focus if needed

Phase 2 (feel your best)

Health

Get back on your diet (if you were on one like keto, paleo, Mediterranean, intermittent fasting, plant-based, etc.)

This time of year I find that people tend to eat heavier, more sugary meals, I for one am guilty, and they tend to upset my gut. I would recommend you find out which foods make you feel bad/ sluggish/ heavy/ nauseous/ bloated/ etc. and limit them

Now is a great time to go on a water fast if you're experienced with fasting

Try to walk and dance more

If you've stopped working out, ease your way back into it, starting with once a week, twice a week, etc until you're back at your regular pace.

Swap out your usual routine for something less intense (walking instead of running, lighter weights, etc.)

Get your blood tested!!! check your vitamin D, B12 and iron levels

Tea has so many benefits and will keep you warm!

Face & Body care

If you've been neglecting your self-maintenance this is the time to get back to old routines. Personally, I haven't found the energy for my weekly facials however I enjoy them so much and I've decided this is something I want back in my life, I also need to get back on my IPL schedule. This is going to be different for everyone.

Hair

clarifying treatments

henna masks

hair masks in general

get a trim or look into dusting if you want to maintain your length

ACV rinses are great

Give your hair a break from relaxers, heat, bleach, etc.

Scent

How to smell good from head to toe, AKA my scent routine

Also, figure out if you have BO and try to get rid of it (I can make a post on this!)

Phase 3 (mental wellbeing)

This is the star of this reset!

Give yourself a social media detox, whatever that looks like for you (take a break/ edit your followers and following lists/ completely delete/ deactivate your account/ only use social media on your laptop/ use extensions to limit your social media usage/ only for 30 minutes a day/ etc. figure out what works best for you and what you need)

Cut out toxic people from your life and people who do not make you feel good

Find out what drains your energy (people, places, situations, social media, listening to too much music with harmful lyrics, partying, gossiping, etc.)

Get clear on your personal values

Get clear on your personal boundaries (in relationships, friendships, at work/ school, mental boundaries as well)

Identify any self-sabotaging or people pleasing behaviour

Let go and detach yourself from anything that does not serve

Release shame

Forgive yourself

Recognize and stop comparison

Get clear on what you will and will not tolerate

Place some rules on yourself and your life, if you find yourself going down a slippery path (I will not vape, I will not entertain a man just because I'm bored, I'm will not gossip, etc.)

Work on getting eight hours of sleep

Journal to organize your thoughts

Once again, shadow work!!!

Go on a dopamine detox

Recognize red flags in relationships, friendships, work place, etc.

Recognize your own red flags and work on them

Give yourself closure if you need to

Vent to a friend who is willing to help

Remove yourself from harmful situations

Choose to be happy

Reconnect with old friends

Smiling is an instant mood booster

Work on your insecurities

practice intentional kindness, to yourself and others

Speaking of, self-compassion is so so important during this journey

Find your comfort shows/ movies/ food for fun

appreciate and find joy in the little things

Work on any traumas you may have (childhood, generational, relationships, friendships, etc.)

Identify unhealthy patterns in your life

Recognize what your grateful for

Recognize the areas in your life where you have improved, things your proud of yourself for, no mater how small

Heal energetic cords

Choose to put things behind you and to move on

Be intentional with everything, with your healing, with your emotions, with your thoughts and your actions

Journal for self-reflection

celebrate small victories

Positive self talk in the mirror is life-changing

Find out what fulfill you

Let go of limiting beliefs

make your self and your wellbeing a priority

Remind yourself of moments life has been kind to you

Focus on healing

Stop caring about other people's judgements of you

learn to control your emotions and reactions

Phase 4 (living)

Now is a great time for any of your usual reset rituals

Spend time with people you leave you feeling good

Do something nice for someone

Yoga + meditation for new beginnings

Practice LOA, whatever that means for you

Get back on track with your studying

revisit and relearn old skills

Do small things that make you happy (baking brownies, buying flowers, painting your nails, etc.)

Explore your city!! there are so many fun things to do

Consider taking a trip somewhere

Buy yourself a symbolic piece of jewellery

Asses your money habits

Make any and all lifestyle changes necessary

Work on reimplementing any good habits/ routines back into your life

Get enough sleep!!

Go out in nature! it's so healing

make plans for days when you are not feeling so great

I just want you to know that I am so so proud of you for putting in the effort to better your self and your life. Self-improvement journeys are never linear and you will have bad days, bad weeks or bad months and that's okay! it is a part of growth.

Lots of love,

Serena

xx

Something I struggle with is actually starting my journey. I have so many areas that I want to upgrade in and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. Do you have any advice on that? Thank you!

how to organize your level up journey 🤍

1. take out a piece of paper (or type but it’s better to write things down on paper), and write down each life area (or the ones that you want to change). these include (but not limited to): and make sure you leave a lot of room under each one, probably taking one piece of paper for every life area instead of just using one sheet of paper.

school

work/career

finances

romantic relationships

family

friendships

religion/spirituality

health/fitness

physical appearance

recreational/bucket list

lifestyle

2. leave space under whichever “life areas” you want to level up in and then write your goals. i suggest 1-3 goals under each, but no more than 5. you don’t want to overwhelm yourself even more. an example of this could look like:

1. physical appearance

- i want to grow longer hair

- i want to clear my skin

- i want to master the perfect makeup look

3. under each one of your goals, write 1-2 habits you could do everyday to work on that goal. you can write more habits if you want to, but again, the goal is to not overwhelm you anymore than you already feel. an example of this could look like:

1. physical appearance

- i want to grow longer hair

• sleep on satin pillow case

• heatless hairstyles daily

4. then start working on those habits, slowly adding a few more into your routine whenever you feel comfortable. don’t get discouraged if you slip a lot during the beginning; that’s completely normal. just keep working on being consistent and it’ll eventually become second nature. then you add more habits and eventually, habits turn into successes.

try my method and see if this works for you. 🫶🏼

Babe your pussy is so labyrinthian it's got the minotaur and everything 😳

Hard truth that I’ve had to confront that I’m honestly not proud of:

Constantly voicing your abandonment issues lead to more people abandoning you.

I do not mean in Serious Conversations about what you need in a relationship or anything like that - I mean when your friend plays a video game with a different friend for a few days and you feel like your world is crumbling, that is not the time to talk about them.

I understand the fear that someone will decide they are done with you. I live that fear every single day, but here’s the rub.

If you tell people “you’ll probably leave me anyway” or similar things every time you feel that fear, people will leave you.

Not because they don’t want to be your friend, your partner, your roommate, whatever. Not because you aren’t deserving of friends (you are), but because it is exhausting to be constantly told by someone you like/love to go away.

Because that is how it feels on the other end. I don’t say this to make it worse, or to make you feel like you’re at fault. Your brain is hurting you, and it’s okay to feel things. But if you find that it’s hard to keep people around you, then you need to hear that outside of things like conversations about boundaries and triggers and such, it would be to your benefit to change your language.

Instead of telling people “you probably don’t like me”, try asking. “You like me? It’s much easier for them to reassure you when you don’t start with a negative, because it puts your brain in a different mindset, one that finds it easier to believe their response.

Sit with your issues. Parent them. And when they’re done screaming, hold their little hands and dry their little faces and try to remember that you are worth being loved. I won’t say it’s easy, because it’s really fucking not. I won’t say you’ll get it the first time, or that you’ll never fuck up. I still do. But you deserve friends and partners and love, it’s just that so do they.

Can someone please explain to me what evaporated milk is? Wouldn’t that just be gas by definition? I live in constant fear

PACKED TIGHT LIKE A SUBWAY IN RUDH HOUR????

i only have a dick when it's funny

found an abandoned king cake baby on the ground outside....currently affixing it to my lanyard to see if any of my students notice

reblog to tell the person you reblogged this from that they are deserving of love and affection

Hes got that windows media player pussy

To US leftists out there: please, actually focus on the situation. Focus on Russia and Ukraine.

I'm so tired of how, every time someone condemns Russia's actions, some of you just come in and start going "Oh, but the US did X, Y and Z" or "NATO has issues", as if that's relevant to this situation. It's not. By acting as though the US or NATO is somehow the aggressor here, you are buying into Russian propaganda and downplaying their actions, whether intentionally or not.

In your attempt to be against US imperialism, instead of having a nuanced take, you just side with countries that are anti-US and act as though those countries are inherently better than the US just because they oppose it. But please, understand that two things can be bad at the same time, and not all far-right/imperialist governments like each other.

Also, continuously shifting the focus away from Ukraine and towards the US/NATO is, frankly, very self-centered, and it's completely ignoring the fact that the people who are actually affected by this are Ukrainians. None of you are gonna be affected in any way beyond simply being upset about it.

Which brings me to another point: supposedly progressive people dismissing the idea that Russia is a threat. Yeah, it may not be a threat to you, far away on a different continent if you're in the US, and other NATO members are also safe. But Russia's neighbors who are not in NATO are not safe.

By dismissing Russia (an imperialist autocracy with nuclear weapons, may I remind you) as a real threat is treating the lives of the people in neighboring countries as disposable and lesser than the lives of those in the West. In this specific situation, it's treating Ukrainians as disposable.

Please, just because a country/government opposes the US doesn't mean it's good, or that you have to side with it. The Russian government doesn't hate the US for the same reasons you do. It hates things like human rights, free speech and fair elections - things that are objectively good.

And remember, the only "threat" to Russia by Ukraine preferring the West and wanting to join the EU and/or NATO is that Russia would no longer be able to invade or bully it if it joined, because then it would have protection. There is no "legitimate threat" to Russia here, certainly not militarily.

f*ck it, here are some silly pet paintings

you know what dad? maybe i don't wanna be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned. it's a lot of pressure to put on me and honestly i've been feeling stressed recently because of it

if u dont mind id love to know more of ur fav poems :-) trying to get into reading more poetry

missing persons by sam sax

ode to prince by hanif abdurraqib

social skills training by solmaz sharif

men by maya angelou

DL N8 4 3SOME by jake skeets

having a coke with you by frank o'hara

jubilate homo by ellen bass

carpet bomb by kenyatta rogers

border patrol agent by eduardo c corral

heart condition by jericho brown

tell me something good by ocean vuong

letter to S, hospital by emily skaja

we lived happily during the war by ilya kaminsky

long division by matthew dickman

the american security against foreign enemies act by lucie brock-broido

you will never get death out of a system by dana levin

letter to chi by franny choi

14 lines from love letters or suicide notes by doc luben

said the confederate flag to the american flag by RJ walker

worms by shyla hardwick

blood makes the blade holy by evan knoll

the 17 year old & the gay bar by danez smith

mountain dew commercial disguised as a love poem by matthew olzmann

all computers are living and beautiful creatures full ofsweet loveness and joy

I'd like to discuss how the American left ends up playing devil's advocate for the far right movements outside of the West.

USAmerican politics in general are still heavily fixated on the Cold War perception. the US is self absorbed, carrying a specific mentality which puts it in the centre of the world, and is objectively a superpower, so the young US citizens grow up knowing they live in the most important state of all. when young USAmericans become disillusioned with their country and its foreign politics, they don't reject the polarisation between the US and The Other Side - they apply it in reverse. a failure to properly challenge "the US are the good ones and the other side are the world scale danger" and US-centric sentiments results in just flipping it around and assuming since America turned out to be bad guys, then Russia, China, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Iran, historically also USSR etc and other rival powers must actually be good, and since red scare existed and was indeed exaggerated and politically utilised, then everything negative on these countries must be US propaganda or some form of a psyop.

this mentality is still US-centrist, and fails to see the perspectives on the world outside of American interests - even if these interests are perceived negatively. fixated on their country being the leading destructive force as an imperialist superpower, they are thus inclined to support any regime or movement that's anti-American or in a wider scale anti-Western.

but being against the West, Western values and globalisation is a known, fixed far right talking point outside of the core West. a lot of the time, our far right movements identify and equate women's rights, gay rights etc with Western liberalism and individualism in their rhetoric, and position them against "conservative ethnic values". that goes with identifying "degeneracy" in form of secular values, feminism, gender nonconformity etc with Western influence. the American left thus end up supporting the kind of positions 10 steps to the right from what they consider fascism and oppose in America, and then they condescend us via cultural relativism.

in that framework, human rights are for the Americans, their women and gays, but not for us. they know they deserve liberation, as for us - women and minorities of Second and Third World - we should just shut up and accept "our place in our cultures" because that's what feeds their guilt complex. they want to feel they're the worst so we're not allowed to say we want to embrace some of their values. they support Putin and the separatists (as it there weren't state sanctioned murders of gay men and anti-"homopropaganda" laws in Russia), they excuse the Talibs etc etc and refuse to listen to affected nations when we say they're hurting us.

let it be known that it is only fascists and the far-right who will support Putin in the CEE since his rhetoric appeals to their values (nationalism, conservatism and so on) while they identify the "liberal" values with the West, and the Western left seems to not understand it for whatever reason. for these people, hating minorities and hoping for a nationalist revival is a good part of WHY they hate the US in the first place.

the US left present the American mentality where sacrifice in form of poorer, weaker peoples being subjugated by fascist regimes is acceptable in the name of either pro- or anti-US, because the US is the center of the world politics. they support these things that don't affect them - they won't be the ones living in homophobic, patriarchal police states - and the category of what counts as "horrible homophobic law" for them in America is far broader than what counts as a law oppressive enough for us that it would be worth looking into. failing to realise other threats and oppressive, dangerous powers outside of the US, they end up feeding, validating and excusing these powers in the name of their rivalry with the US, and parroting their propaganda.

I wish the American left would stop being useful idiots for regimes under which they would never want to live (given how they respond to far milder limitations to human, minority etc rights in their own country) and far-right, nationalist and fundamentalist movements in countries outside of the First World.

my endless anger & my endless love are not in conflict. they enhance each other & are very healthy + just <3

i Love vaccines, autism, abortions, homosexuals, sex changes and crime

i Love vaccines, autism, abortions, homosexuals, sex changes and crime

I was rancid in the womb

did you know smores poptarts have all the nutrients needed to sustain the human body *stands up and Immediately

do drugs jack off kill yourself then wake up in the morning and have a cup of cawfie n eat some cigarettes

the pinnacle of the zillenial transmasc experience is crying and shaking like a little bitch baby one random Saturday night all because of this bitch

breeding headphones without wires because you 'think it looks cute' is just cruel

having a headache should be plausible cause for murder

requested by warmliquidfeelings

in this essay i wont

yes babe i love your dads leather jacket on you it looks like high fashion no it doesn’t make me think you have major issues

i am gods bastard child and my mothers conditional love and my fathers temper and my sisters eyes and my brothers anger. i am the mother and the father and the sister and the brother and i am god and i am all of them combined