I Am Non-binary So It Would Be Kind Of Weird If It Wasn't Lol

craving something sweet?

it’s 2025. you will never know peace, @derinthescarletpescatarian

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

i desperately need toxic moonwater but in a hilarious kinda way. i think it'd be so funny if regulus is a lil unhinged and absolutely psychotic.

someone looked at his boyfriend's way a little too long for his liking? HEXED.

someone getting a little bit close?HEXED. why are you hovering over him you filthy mudblood?!? go away!

remus thinks it's adorable (he likes how possessive regulus is), sirius is very disturbed, james thinks it's incredibly fucking hilarious and so does barty and evan who messes with their little friend by being flirty with remus in front of him LMAO. remus always put a stop to it though before it gets to far because he doesn't want anyone to end up in the hospital again 💀

SHE was a punk. HE did ballet. #woke #truelove

reporter - @into-the-jeggyverse - wc: 651

“Mr. Black!”

Regulus froze.

He turned, shoulders drawn tight beneath his coat. A woman in sleek navy robes with a press badge clipped to her chest pushed past a half-hearted security ward with a quick flick of her wand.

She smiled. “Regulus Black, isn’t it? Mind if I ask you a few questions? Just a minute of your time—”

“I don’t do interviews,” Regulus said curtly, already stepping back.

“But the fans are dying to know more about the man behind the legend,” she pressed, stepping in his path. “What’s it like, being married to James Potter? Is he as wild at home as he is on the field?”

Regulus’ stomach twisted.

She laughed at her own innuendo. “Is he competitive? Messy? Or does he practice catching things around the house just for fun?”

He didn’t answer. He was trying to breathe—trying to remember how to breathe through the sudden thundering in his ears. He hated this. He hated being seen. He was never meant to be a public figure, even in marriage. James understood that. James promised.

But the woman wasn’t done.

“Come on, just one detail. Where’d you two meet? Is it true he chased you for years? Or that he proposed midair? Was it a Quidditch ball or a ring he tossed you first?”

Regulus flinched, like she’d thrown it at him now. The crowd behind them blurred—cheering, chanting, whistling, calling James’ name like he was a god.

He was going to throw up. Or hex someone.

And then like magic James appeared:

“Oi! That’s enough!”

The voice cut through everything. James.

Regulus turned, relief hitting like a gust of wind.

James was still in half his gear—pads undone, gloves hanging from one hand, hair a chaotic mess from the wind and the win. He was flushed with victory and still flying high, but the moment his eyes landed on Regulus, everything softened.

He didn’t even look at the reporter.

He walked straight to Regulus.

“Sorry,” he said, not even breathless, not even pretending. “My husband doesn’t give interviews. He barely gives me answers, and I’ve been trying for a decade.”

Regulus’ laugh was small, but real. He felt James’ fingers skim the back of his hand, the smallest touch. The only one he needed.

The reporter opened her mouth again, undeterred. “James, just one—”

James turned, all charm now sharpened to steel. “No.”

It wasn’t angry. It wasn’t loud. But it ended the conversation.

He reached for Regulus properly then, tugging him close by the waist, arm slung so securely it felt like armor.

“Let’s go home,” James murmured, forehead resting briefly against Regulus’ temple. “I left the champagne chilling and the bed unmade.”

Regulus didn’t reply. Just nodded. Let himself be led past the flash of cameras, the calls of teammates and fans. Let himself breathe again.

It was only once they were safely past the warded doors, walking the empty corridor toward the locker rooms, that he spoke.

“You unmade the bed on purpose.”

James grinned. “Of course I did.”

Regulus looked up at him, finally meeting his eyes. “I hate that they talk to me like that. I hate that they think being your husband means I owe them anything.”

James’ expression gentled. “You don’t. You never have. You know that, yeah?”

“I know,” Regulus murmured. “It’s just... overwhelming.”

James pulled him closer, walking slower now, dragging them both to a stop beside a bench.

He kissed Regulus’ cheek—soft, warm, grounding. “I play for the world,” he said. “But I fly for you. And I’d give up the whole damn stadium if it meant you never had to flinch again.”

Regulus rolled his eyes, but they were glassy. “You’re dramatic.”

James shrugged. “You married me anyway.”

A beat. Then Regulus said, “I’ll unmake the bed next time.”

James’ smile turned wicked. “That’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Thoughts on Rosestarkiller?

YES ANON YES MY THOUGHTS ARE SCREAMING TO BE LET OUT

they are such lovely murderous psychopaths. regulus the cockslut, barty the attention whore and evan who is happy to satiate both of their needs.

I'm talking regulus down on all fours on the bed getting his throat fucked by evan's cock (huge) while evan let's barty fuck his hand while he whispers to him so filthily. Regulus isn’t getting focused on but he can't seem to care when he has a cock in his mouth.

Evan fucking regulus so hard he's shaking the bed while barty has to sit and watch because he misbehaved. Evan gets barty to fuck regulus and make him come but barty himself isn't allowed to even though he's aching.

they're murder husbands ofc. Barty especially loves seeing regulus come home, sweaty and bloody with a manic look in his eye. He licks the blood off regulus until his own lips are red, then eats him out and fucks him as a reward.

regulus getting fucked by evan and sucking barty off at the same time. Evan spanking him and calling him a cockslut while he's gagging around Barty’s cock. Or barty fucking evan while regulus sits on evan's face. There's an infinite number of ways they could and would do it.

Sometimes evan will come home to the other two already naked and engrossed in each other, kissing and biting roughly at each other. Sometimes he punishes them for it by telling them what to do to each other but refusing to join in until regulus is whining for his cock and barty is pissy evan is giving him physical attention.

I need other thoughts on them please I beg

a lot of people tended to say that sirius and regulus looked alike, but the marauders and their friends never quite believed it. they looked much to different with one brother being so expressive with his facial features and the other wearing a mask that never slips.

it wasn’t until one day when barty had managed to convince regulus to pull a cute little joke on evan which then led to evan chasing them down the halls of hogwarts with nothing but murder on his mind. while running they managed to run into the posse of gryffindors as well as dorcas who was with them, and while passing, the group (bar dorcas) had to do a double take because the boy that had just passed them with a mischievous smile plastered on his face looked just like sirius.

i’d commit war crimes to have a flat chest

The Black Brothers trying to explain his trauma to people