Study Confession

A thought: does our heart breaks a little everytime when someone doesn't take you seriously or made fun of you, or does it took away the hope when the person making fun is your own family itself? My heart goes to all other persons who were made fun off for being themselves or towards those who was labelled as sensitive because you don't take part in their nasty jokes. You don't get angry at them, you just became disappointed. You stop saying things. Because it's hurts.

This is so true. I'm in my early twenties and all of my friends are moving away with different jobs and they are making new friends, I'm on a different job where I'm constantly feeling I'm not being able to connect with other people or myself properly. And when I reach out to them, they are busy (I'm not blaming them and absolutely in this pandemic no one have to take the responsibility of other people's struggles) but I'm just trying to reach out to them for casual conversation to know about their life, how they are coping with changes, is everything okay or not but they are kind of ignoring me. It hurts a lot to feel like unwanted. Its feels like there's no value to that friendship anymore.

I talked to my mum the other day, and she told me that when you’re in your 20’s, you feel everyone is better than you. You feel that everyone is smarter, they are better, they are doing more, they got it all handled. And then she told me, that as you get older, you learn that it was not true, it was never true. Everyone is not better than you. Everyone isn’t doing more than you, everyone isn’t smarter and everyone do not have it all handled. Now, I hope I get that into my head some day soon. And until then, I’m gonna work on that and talk about it, cause I’m not alone in feeling this. I hope we all learn this, no matter if you are in your 20’s, or younger or older. Don’t sell yourself short.

nothing gets a city to sing louder than a song about their city

Hi all, so I made a concept book art of the song "OUT OF THE WOODS" - It's called "What if out of the woods is a book"

Diary Entry: Love Finds a Way

I think Ghibli Studio movies are love letter to the nature, to the naive little you who believed everything that's magical. I remember cuddling with my mother & elder sister in rainy nights, where mother would whisper fairytales in our ears, or the early mornings covered in mist, I used to listen fairy tales while walking towards school. That was my love letter to my childhood, the movies helped me giving perspective to my life. When you watch Ghibli movies at young age, you wanted to live in world with wizards or you try to find little people in the dark corners of your house, but as a grown up, I realised it's all about appreciating nature and everything it offers. You understood even in the worst days, your family/closed one will surround you with their embrace. You realise all along the magic you were trying to find, lies in the love you feel or the love you gave away. Love the most magical power of them all. There's nothing much to our everyday mundane life but still there's beauty in waking up early or in making your favourite meal! You can be a brave warrior or an artist who's fighting the injustice of the world with nothing but courage. As a grown up I still and will always believe in magic because it's there with us, it's there with our each breath and it's there in our every heart beat because true magic lies only within you🍃

Sad girl autumn era?

No, it's maroon at midnights era.

Track 2: Red ( Red Taylor's version)

Track 2: Maroon ( Midnights)

surviving uni tips

so I recently started my uni and it’s online classes and they are putting too much  pressure on us.  I made some new plans to ace through uni grades and I thought i should share them even though they are not much.  1.  read and make notes on the topic the day you learn and if you think you will wait for the weekend then you are doing it wrong.  Let’s go back to elementary days and finish your studying and homework day to day. It helps a lot in lessening the burden before the exams.  2. watch YouTube videos and understand the concepts better because it’s all about applying the concepts.   3.  Make questions while you read and wrote them down on a piece of paper or in a word document.  4. Create questions or ask a friend to create them and schedule a time in each week and take the exam with limited time. It will help with the speed.  5. create minimum 3 goals for the coming day and achieve them by creating a reward.  6. try pomodoro  technique but use 60 min as study time and 15 min as a break.  7. use white noises.  This is my plan for the coming exam which is on 8th October. Hopefully this will work. 

aot tweets: it's official

inspired by an incorrect supercorp post

Diary Blog: Letter to myself

"After years of overthinking and analysing I came to a conclusion about relationship. Exactly, why my relationships never lasts. You know, sometimes people doesn't put the same value to the things as you do. I'm not talking about romantical relationship, because you're going into that kind of attachment with some kind of expectations, you want love, just attachment maybe. I'm talking about friendships! I always kept my expectations low, as long I'm not expecting that person to do anything, I'm not overthinking. I remember telling someone to just text me whenever you can after your flight lands, they didn't even though they said they would! I waited the whole day and again realise why I don't have any expectations from people anymore. Expectations are the root of every problems. I don't think it's requires a lot of space or time to text someone, if any person couldn't find five seconds of their precious time to spend on the person they said their close friend, I can't stop myself thinking if I have any value in that person's life anymore. But at the same time I also think, no body is entitled to spend their time on anyone, there might be lot's of things that I don't know that they might be facing, struggling through. But I still can't stop myself from hoping. I can't stop myself from begging to have footnotes in their stories! I don't know I'm just incredibly heartbroken." I'm in dilemma!

A diary full of letters which I'll never publish 🍂🍂