249 posts
Reblog this post to turn the previous user into a Creature
Reblog to headbonk your mutuals like a cat full of love
Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I’ll practise basic self care
Why 666k? Because it’s funny and impossible so good fucking luck
can y’all just… like or reblog if y’all are polyam-safe blogs
You know what’s up
Varric is the most character of all time and I can’t get over him
He’s a business man. He hates his parents. He has a crossbow named after the woman he loves. She made him the crossbow. It’s so powerful nobody can know. He writes crime novels. For a while his only friends were bisexuals. He’s famous. He’s a wanted criminal. He once organised an underground expedition/treasure hunt. He writes porn. His best friend went to magic hell. His other best friend has one arm. He works for a powerful religious organisation. He runs a spy network. He’s mayor of his hometown. He’s killed dragons. He refuses to cover his chest. He won’t sleep with you. He can turn invisible. His brother lost his mind. He’s four feet tall. He’s confused by chocolate. He was kidnapped by the church police.
May you wake up with pointed ears, curled horns, sharp fangs, pitch black eyes, and whatever other inhuman parts you would like to have.
Alright I’m seein waaaay too many of y'all startin to ship Jacob and that unnamed young sailor boy from the Inevitable/Crow’s Crew. Y'all that’s. that’s a child. a teenager. Sure, perhaps a teen getting ready to enter adulthood, but that’s still a teen. I get that there’s no precise like. set-in-stone ages for any of these characters, but you can tell by not only his face, but by the way Jacob treats him after he catches him from falling that he’s deemed a child/teen, especially in Jacob’s eyes. Jacob literally tells him to hide. The only other person he does this with is Maisie. Jacob has not given this special treatment to anyone else on the crew, the only two people who he’s told this too have been, once again, the unnamed sailor and Maisie. He wouldn’t and didn’t do this to any of the adults on the crew. I’m not even going to argue this point with any of y'all if you try to defend this, that’s a fuckin child. Stop bein weird. If you need to ship Jacob with anybody, please make a fuckin OC. (Also unrelated but semi-related, I don’t see ANY of you gushing over Jacob saving the bagpipe player or shipping them together, which I’m not saying you should or have to, but I think its pretty sus that out of the two people Jacob catches, those of y'all who are doin this shippin junk focus and cling to the skinny young teen boy instead of the fat older guy when it comes to your “potential shipping options” but that’s just my personal opinion <:/)
gay people see the word vampire and just hit reblog
reblog if you ARE a mage, if you SUPPORT mages, or if you like to OPEN templars’ WINDOWS in the middle of the NIGHT and put DOZENS of NUGS in their BEDROOMS
Nobody tells you that 90% of being a fic writer is telling yourself sternly that you CANNOT start a new wip until you finish one of the old ones, and then failing to write anything at all as your brain sulks like a toddler.
It's a good thing that Reyes Vidal and Zevran Arainai exist in different games because the two of them in any proximity to each other would have been too much bisexual energy for one universe to handle.
I feel so attacked right now...
Stray fandom, collectively, about the sewers:
Mass Effect: Andromeda being a deeply flawed game aside; Jaal’s romance is the best because it is, at its heart, just two alien fuckers living the absolute dream
Jaal and Ryder are both alien fuckers, pass it on
Reblog to give your followers each their own sword.
what if vampires are like mosquitoes and only the ladies drink blood
ppl who likes birds 🤝 ppl who likes cats
have a crush on turians
happy ace day everyone!!!!
pass the crab to your followers
Bi_irl
me, watching my mutuals post ceaselessly about a fandom i’m not in:
Just some PSAs since it’s the start of Ace Week.
reblog if freud would have diagnosed you with female hysteria in the 1800s
And that's why it's my favorite game in the world
the Origins PC and companions are genuinely the funniest group of people if you actually think about it, like you got:
The Warden who literally got their job yesterday and was put in charge of saving the world for some reason
the second-most-recent warden who immediately pushed all the responsibility on you and REALLY doesn’t want to tell you who his daddy is because that would mean more responsibility he does not want
this random swamp witch who’s mother may or may not be Baba Yaga but she personally has never been anywhere larger than a small village and does NOT understand human interactions also she can turn into a spider
a bisexual nun who you met in a bar who told you that God told her to tag along with you but actually she used to be a spy and has murdered a lot of people, but also she assures you that she never took vows of chastity so she’s dtf
a grown up child soldier giant man who you got out of a cage for some reason who spends half the time negging you and talking in circles but is apparently into that and also the only thing he likes about your country is cookies
an assassin that was hired to kill you and immediately started flirting with you the moment he failed at doing that and you just thought it was a good call to let him tag along
an elderly woman who has assigned herself the role of group grandmother, really doesn’t want you to fuck or talk about griffins, and also she’s possessed. let’s be real, she probably regrets being in this group
a dwarf who’s wife ended up being a psychopath and a lesbian, so he just decided to skip town with you
a magical construct that has spent the last 30 years getting shit on by birds and just is REALLY pissed off by that
A dog that is able to comprehend human language and uses that ability solely to beg for treats
And the optional:
Literally the guy that you have been fighting against the entire fucking game
Who was your bisexual awakening and why was it Ardeth Bay from the hit films The Mummy (1999) and The Mummy Returns (2001)