"my Ex Was A Narcissist!" And It's Just A Random Dude Who Can't Take Accountability Because Patriarchy

"actually all pwnpd are abusive because they have low empathy and don't care about anyone but themselves-" I will eat you.

If you're convinced that narcissists are uncaring cold-blooded monsters, you never had a person with NPD trust you enough and it kinda shows why.

When people are saying "narcissistic abuse doesn't exist", we're not saying that person didn't abuse you, we're saying that there is no differentiation from a neurotypical/abled abuser and an abuser with a personality disorder.

There are different types of abuse, such as physical abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, etc. But there is no unique abuse caused by someone with mental illness.

We're saying that abuse isn't specifically caused by mental illness, and to insinuate that is to be ableist. Not all crimes nor abuse are caused by people with mental disorders. It's an ableist myth that mentally ill people are evil or dangerous just because they're mentally ill or neurodivergent.

You could be abused by anyone, with any type of abuse. But narcissistic, bpd, or otherwise abuse is NOT a type of abuse. Stop being ableist. Stop pushing narratives that people with these disorders and disabilities are evil just because they have them.

Be real for one second and don't assume strangers are evil because they're mentally ill. Sure, you got abused by one. But plenty of us have been abused by people who have traits that make them systemically oppressed. Like abused by women, abused by people of color, abused by queer people, etc. But we don't say their abusive traits are caused by that. They're abusive because they're a bad person, not because they're a minority.

Questioning NPD culture+ sickness is constantly feeling like you're being belittled by being helped but deeply enjoying the attention

- ⚡🧊

.

friendly reminder there'd be a lot less abusive narcissists if there were reliable sources on npd symptoms and how to handle them 🥰

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

npd culture is getting annoyed because someone assumes something incorrect about you so you're like "please ask next time" and then getting annoyed when they actually ask next time because they should just know

just a psa if you support borderlines but dont support those with narcissistic or antisocial or histrionic personality disorder then we dont want your support <3 ty

Sending good vibes to all my cluster B pals 💕

questioning npd culture is having to explain that being friends with someone because "its the right thing to do" IS your form of caring. if i didnt care i wouldve left you in a ditch months ago. if i didnt care i wouldnt even be telling you that i secretly groan whenever you show up and ruin whatever more important thing im doing. this is care, i promise you it is. please try to understand. please dont leave me

.