On Storytelling And Repetition

This August I began to dream of drowning

Anne Sexton, from "Imitations of Drowning" in The Complete Poems of Anne Sexton

"I've never been lonely. I've been in a room -- I've felt suicidal. I've been depressed. I've felt awful -- awful beyond all -- but I never felt that one other person could enter that room and cure what was bothering me...or that any number of people could enter that room. In other words, loneliness is something I've never been bothered with because I've always had this terrible itch for solitude. It's being at a party, or at a stadium full of people cheering for something, that I might feel loneliness. I'll quote Ibsen, "The strongest men are the most alone." I've never thought, "Well, some beautiful blonde will come in here and give me a fuck-job, rub my balls, and I'll feel good." No, that won't help. You know the typical crowd, "Wow, it's Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?" Well, yeah. Because there's nothing out there. It's stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I've never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars, because I didn't want to hide in factories. That's all. Sorry for all the millions, but I've never been lonely. I like myself. I'm the best form of entertainment I have. Let's drink more wine!" - Charles Bukowski

“Oh, I don’t mean you’re handsome, not the way people think of handsome. Your face seems kind. But your eyes - they’re beautiful. They’re wild, crazy, like some animal peering out of a forest on fire.” - Charles Bukowski

Looking for the Stranger by Alice Kaplan

The University of Chicago Press ・・・ Designer: Isaac Tobin Production Coordinator: Joan Davies Art Director: Jill Shimabukuro ・・・ Congratulations to those involved with this 2018 Association of University Presses Book, Jacket, & Journal Show selection!

“Everyone with a beating heart deserves to be saved.”

— J.R. Ward

“Death smiles upon us all. All a man can do is smile back.”

— Marcus Aurelius

But never have I been a calm blue sea. I have always been a storm.

Stevie Nicks, Storms (via music-and-quotes)

Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.

Graham Greene, Ways Of Escape (via the-book-diaries)

“Consciousness is a message scribbled in the dark.”

— Vladimir Nabokov, Pale Fire (via the-book-diaries)

« Dispassionately, reasonably, he contemplated the failure that his life must appear to be. He had wanted friendship and the closeness of friendship that might hold him in the race of mankind; he had had two friends, one of whom had died senselessly before he was known, the other of whom had now withdrawn so distantly into the ranks of the living that...

He had wanted the singleness and the still connective passion of marriage; he had had that, too, and he had not known what to do with it, and it had died. He had wanted love; and he had had love, and had relinquished it, had let it go into the chaos of potentiality. Katherine, he thought. "Katherine."

And he had wanted to be a teacher, and he had become one; yet he knew, he had always known, that for most of his life he had been an indifferent one. He had dreamed of a kind of integrity, of a kind of purity that was entire; he had found compromise and the assaulting diversion of triviality. He had conceived wisdom, and at the end of the long years he had found ignorance. And what else? he thought. What else?

What did you expect? he asked himself. »

Stoner - John Williams