I Live Bitch

just remembered shows used to have 20-25 eps per season

Mc gives people heart attack for fun, they will be playing on their phone minding their own business and then pow Mc is coming out of your screen.

———

Deuce: *Reading something on his phone* Mc: *Pops out of his phone* Deuce!

Deuce: Aghsgsusv *falls to ground holding his chest* Mc: Is everyone here a pussy when it comes to jump scares?

———

Crowley: *Not looking for away home for Mc* Mc: *Sitting on Crowley‘s desk with his phone in hand* Good for nothing Crow.

Crowley: Mc! What are you doing here?

Mc: Just seeing how progress with getting me home is doing, but I can see you a busy not doing that... or anything els.

Crowley: I have been doing it, you just have to give it time as I as oh so nice.

Mc: Well it should be going faster, as you are oh so nice. Or would you rather have me post your internet history to the public.

———

Idia: *Minding his own business* Mc: Wow this whole dorm is full of computers!

Idia: Who are you?

Mc: I’m Yuu, and you are? Idia: Idia, now get out I didn’t invite you here.

Mc: I have never seen any computers like these.

Idia: You like technology?

Mc: I travel though it *pops in on computer pops out of another on* see!

Cute

title: these fragile things

Summary: The Union Leaders have opinions regarding Ephemer’s friend; most of them are Ephemer’s fault.

(Or: snippets I began writing before the end of KHUX, in an AU where the Union leaders get to know the Player via Ephemer before everything goes sideways; it’s not really supposed to make sense, I guess. Also, the Player’s gender here is pretty much ‘Ephemer’s friend’.)

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Hearts may break, but hearts are the toughest of muscles, able to pump for a lifetime, seventy times a minute, and scarcely falter along the way. Even dreams, the most delicate and intangible of things, can prove remarkably difficult to kill.

Neil Gaiman, Fragile Things

i. Lauriam

They all know about Ephemer’s friend; it would be harder not to, given how much time Ephemer actually spends making sure they’re okay. But it’s only after he’s introduced to them in his search for his sister that Lauriam starts to notice the stalking.

It sounds bad, and it certainly makes what’s happening sound worse than it (allegedly) is, but there really isn’t another word to describe what Ephemer is doing.

Because following someone around skulking in the shadows and doing your best to not be noticed it’s very stalkerish behavior, no matter how you slice it, and regardless of the very valid reasons you might have for wanting to make sure said person is alive and well. Specially if said person would have no problem spending time with their toally-not-a-stalker friend if only said friend would get his head out of his ass and showcase some of the common sense he’s supposed to have being the Union Leader’s Leader and all.

Really, Lauriam doesn’t want to say anything that’ll hurt his leader’s feelings, because surely he knows that his whole watching from afar shtick looks pretty damn suspicious to anyone not in the know; but he also knows that if rumors begin to spread about Ephemer being a creepy stalker they’re all going to suffer the consequences.

So Lauriam decides that enough is enough, pulls his leader aside and hisses:

“Just talk to them already!”

And when that fails to get the desired results, he enlists Skuld’s help and shoves Ephemer at his friend promising all kinds of terrible retributions if he doesn’t talk to them. Like a normal person.

Lauriam is pretty proud of this particular stroke of genius, because somehow Ephemer is even more of a mess when interacting normally with this friend than when he was secretly lurking around them and they all can use the entertainment.

ii. Ventus

Alright, so Ventus had never before seen Ephemer fight alongside this other Keyblade Wielder that he’s taken to call his friend. Which is a damn shame, because it’s like an intricately choreographed dance; the two of them seem to trust each other so completely that it’s impossible to tell who is leading and who is following. They work together so well it’s almost mesmerizing.

It’s only when they run into one of those strange, giant heartless that he understands why Skuld doesn’t like to let these two go on missions together.

The moment they see the heartless, Ephemer tightens his hold on his keyblade, getting ready to use one of his skills; Ephemer’s friend, though, moves faster and kicks Ephemer on the back of his knees, and then turns and grabs their own Chirity and lobs it at Ephemer’s face, sending the Union Leaders’ Leader to the ground with an undignified, high-pitched sound. Ephemer’s friend takes this chance to run ahead and hit the heartless with a devastating spell that succeeds in grabbing its attention.

It might be the first time Ventus has ever heard Ephemer swear.

But it gets better worse! The moment the heartless turns to attack his friend, Ephemer throws himself at it, connecting an attack that downs it in one hit, even if it’s only for a brief moment. Ephemer uses that moment to place himself between his friend and the heartless, using his leader voice to order them to ‘stay behind me’ in another fairly uncharacteristic instance.

Predictably, Ephemer’s friend doesn’t listen. Instead, they block the next attack aimed at Ephemer and unleash yet another powerful spell. Ephemer seems torn between attacking the heartless or his friend for a brief moment, before, fortunately, choosing the heartless as his target with another curse. The heartless goes down in record time, and Ephemer’s friend runs away practically cackling, leaving a fuming Ephemer behind.

Ventus can’t wait to tell Skuld all about this.

iii. Brain

Ephemer’s friend is—well, Brain would rather not use the phrase ‘stupidly friendly’ to describe anyone, but that’s what comes to mind.

For someone so stupidly friendly, though, Ephemer’s friend sure as hell doesn’t have many friends. Well, not here in Daybreak Town, unless one is willing to count the team of uniquely dressed Keyblade Wielders that sometimes need their help, but Brain certainly hasn’t seen them spend down time with someone from their own Union. All of the friends they’ve made belong to other worlds. It’s a little bit sad.

Really, no wonder they were so lost after the war. Although saying it like that might not be quite right; the war, after all, had never happened. As far as anyone but the Union Leaders could tell, at least.

No wonder Ephemer is so out of control, either, since he does remember the war and what had happened to his friend during it. Brain had only seen the aftermath but it wasn’t the kind of thing he could forget, though he wishes he could.

His only consolation when they start spending more time around Ephemer, and ergo the rest of them, is that this particular Keyblade Wielder is a riot, specially when it comes to riling up their brave leader.

The last time Ephemer tried to pull rank and order them to stay back (instead of rushing ahead and wrecking havoc on the heartless invading the town), had been something that Brain is never going to let Ephemer live down.

(It went like this:

“And I’m ordering you to stay put,” Ephemer snaps, in a tone that surprises all of them.

Ephemer's friend lets a blank, bland look slid over their face.

“Of course, Master Ephemer,” they say, tone deferential and saccharine sweet.

Ephemer makes a noise like a squeaky dog toy being stepped on, someone (and Brain isn’t sure who, and he sure as hell isn’t going to check if that means missing the show) chokes back a laugh at that and Ephemer turns his head to direct a savage glare in their general direction, effect only slightly diminished because of how red his face is.

“Is something wrong, Master Ephemer?”

“Stop that!”

In the end, after a few more Masters thrown in their interactions, Ephemer gives up and all but chases their friend right into the ring of heartless they’re supposed to be hunting down. They’re all exterminated in record time and Brain doesn’t even have to summon his own keyblade.)

iv. Skuld

Skuld doesn’t like seeing any of her friends in danger or getting hurt, she doesn’t think any of the Union Leaders feel differently about the members of their Unions, about the Dandelions in general, and much less about each other, but it’s different when it comes to Ephemer’s friend, who is also Skuld’s friend, even if Ephemer and Skuld haven’t been very good friends to them.

Like Skuld, Ephemer knows how strong they really are and he trusts them with his life. But. He can’t (physically, mentally, emotionally, in his very soul) stand to see them in danger. He cannot bear even the idea of it. He’d rather tear his own heart out his chest. Whenever the subject of the missions his friend has been sent to comes up, Brain looks like he wants nothing more than smack the Book of Prophecy over Ephemer’s head, hard and quite possibly more than once. Skuld doesn’t ever let this happen, but that’s only because she understands what Ephemer’s feeling all too well.

Their friend is strong, scarily so. The mission reports Brain has gotten his hands on paint a picture of a very capable Keyblade Wielder. It’s, therefore, hilarious how unreasonably overprotective Ephemer is of them. Although the reality is that no one, least of all her, can blame him for that; not after seeing Ephemer return from the wasteland left by the war, his friend a mess of torn flesh and shattered bones in his arms, closer to a corpse than a survivor, clinging to life only because Ephemer willed them to.

It had—it had been the only time Skuld had seen Ephemer so close to a breaking point. So they saved their friend, Dandelion or not; the others because they had to if they wanted to save Ephemer, and Skuld because of that and because this was her friend, too, and she didn’t want to lose either of them.

v. Ephemer

There is something a little bit wrong, a little bit warped, with his friend. Which he supposes is only something to be expected, since they (or rather he; ultimately, it had been his call) had manipulated their memories of the war. As far as his friend was concerned, they had accepted going with them even without becoming a Dandelion. Skuld had sold that lie with surprising aplomb, she had done so with Ephemer’s blessing, crushing the hope they had held so tightly, so close to their heart about their desire to stop the war, to save everyone. This one core belief they had swept under the rug.

They had chosen them both over everyone else, is the story the two of them had told them, and there’s no one to disagree; not even their own Chirity, who, in spite of disliking the falsehood, is willing to accept it as long as it means its Keyblade Wielder is alive.

Ephemer feels much the same; the little changes, the strange faraway look they get in their eyes sometimes; the way they cling to Ephemer and Skuld sometimes, as if they were afraid of losing their reason to even be here at all. Ephemer doesn’t mind it, and Skuld allows it readily enough, since it’s their fault.

Besides, it’s only fair. Ephemer, though he doubts the Union Leaders will agree, is quite aware of his peculiar over-protectiveness when it comes to this one Keyblade Wielder; he can accept being the recipient of the same feelings.

This over-protectiveness exasperates almost anyone but Skuld; Ephemer’s friend is a perfectly capable, fully-fledged Keyblade Wielder, someone who has proven themselves on countless missions time and again. That doesn’t make up for the fact that Ephemer held their hand when they were on the verge of death, surrounded by the ruin and gore of the war that no one but the Union Leaders remember.

They might not remember the war, or how badly they had gotten hurt in it, but Ephemer does. Ephemer, in fact, can’t forget. It might be the one thing he can’t forgive.

Ephemer pushed his friend’s heart back into their body; he slammed shut the door on those painful memories, deciding that was a burden he alone had to bear, and he vowed then that he wouldn’t let anything like that happen ever again.

vi. You

It felt like the path that your heart had been so set on before had changed course; your priorities had shifted without you understanding why, or when, or how. But they had told you that you had chosen them, and had it been anyone else you would have doubted their words; however, since Ephemer and Skuld were the ones to say so, then it must have been true. You had chosen them over your hopes for the worlds and the Unions and everything else. Why would they lie to you? You loved them, and surely, surely, they loved you back.

Choosing them again comes as easy to you as breathing.

“I’ll stay,” you tell him, the quick sand that had been the world finally turning back to solid ground as soon as the words leave your mouth. “I’m not even a Dandelion. I’m just here as your friend. So if you’re staying, so am I.”

Ephemer looks stricken, but he can’t help the helpless smile that fights to form on his lips.

“You…”

“Besides, I don’t want to have to wait around for you again.”

Skuld completes the circle the three of you had made, such a long time ago; she takes your hand and his in hers.

“I’m not leaving you two here,” she says, with such confidence that the only appropriate response is to squeeze her hand and smile.

Ephemer squeezes your hand, too, but he can’t bring himself to smile fully. His eyes are full of both hope and grief.

“Are you sure about this?”

You squeeze his hand back, and you smile bright enough for the both of you. This question is even easier to answer. A no-brainier, really.

“Yup. I’m right where I want to be.”

You are. You would have been, if not for what comes next.

What comes next is this: the world ends. Your world ends. You cannot let that happen to your friends.

Ephemer, who is an idiot and has somehow not gotten into his head what kind of person you are at all, tells you that one of you needs to survive. He’s not wrong, but you can do better than that. There is a reason why you are trusted with so many difficult solo missions.

The red string that tangled the three of you together was something you cherished, but, to save them, you’d sever it with extreme prejudice. You won’t get the chance to apologize, but that’s okay. Ephemer and Skuld never apologized either, for what they did, for the choices they made, and you forgave them anyway.

Ephemer isn’t your actual, literal heart, but he might as well be; he is your friend, your strength, your north, your waypoint. A guiding light no matter how wild the storm, how dark the sea. There’s very little you wouldn’t do to see him and Skuld safe.

“Fools,” you say, and bring your keyblade down on them.

They broke your heart to save you, once. You will return the favor as well as you can.

No one else needs to suffer. One sacrifice is enough. You’re just sorry you had to drag Chirity into this.

There are tears in his eyes when he finally does it, but Ephemer seals you along with the darkness and you laugh, secure in your victory, even in the face of the horrors to come.

Even here, at the end, you are not alone. Chirity is warm in your arms. Ephemer’s hands has also been warm, back then, so, so long ago now.

You hold on to Chirity, and then you let go of everything else.

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It's been a while since I posted actual writing here, so I'm leaving this here and then maybe one day I'll remember to clean it and post it on AO3.

I miss KHUX so much. ; w ;

show, don't tell:

anticipation - bouncing legs - darting eyes - breathing deeply - useless / mindless tasks - eyes on the clock - checking and re-checking

frustration - grumbling - heavy footsteps - hot flush - narrowed eyes - pointing fingers - pacing / stomping

sadness - eyes filling up with tears - blinking quickly - hiccuped breaths - face turned away - red / burning cheeks - short sentences with gulps

happiness - smiling / cheeks hurting - animated - chest hurts from laughing - rapid movements - eye contact - quick speaking

boredom - complaining - sighing - grumbling - pacing - leg bouncing - picking at nails

fear - quick heartbeat - shaking / clammy hands - pinching self - tuck away - closing eyes - clenched hands

disappointment - no eye contact - hard swallow - clenched hands - tears, occasionally - mhm-hmm

tiredness - spacing out - eyes closing - nodding head absently - long sighs - no eye contact - grim smile

confidence - prolonged eye contact - appreciates instead of apologizing - active listening - shoulders back - micro reactions

i made all this stuff to sell, so here’s hoping that it actually does!

Brain worms

+shitpost of my two gender envies from this game

May I request your favorite oppossum pic?

I'll put it under a readmore because there is a cadaver (animal bones).

"PISS OFF, BIRD"

already got a blazed marvel post. the adpocalypse is closer than we think so heres your daily PSA

don't interact with corporate tumblr accounts

yes even to dunk on them. i don't care if you have the sickest burn of the century lined up, don't even give them the time of day

the eventual and inevitable fall of twitter marks a change in the advertising industry, and tumblr is unclaimed territory. if we want tumblr to remain the social media bastion it has become, it needs to remain as unappealing to corporations as possible. do not engage. in a marketing strategist's eyes, any kind of attention is good attention. don't "silence, brand" them. don't kungpowpenis them. don't send them hate anons. don't hate-follow them. corporate tumblrs are not a single entity and they will not be harassed off this site. we only have a shot at repelling them because of tumblr's lack of an algorithm. so turn off recommended posts on your dashboard, put it chronological order, and install an adblocker. if you don't seek out these blazed posts and actively ignore them when they happen upon you, the corporations will starve. in this case, the best kind of protest is a silent one