Now More Than Ever, Please Vet Gofundmes Before You Donate.

“Fatal Infatuation”

tw/cw: heavily implied (but brief) mentions of self harm and suicide.

explicit sexual undertones, with reference to masturbation.

complete and utter blasphemy.

the babygirlification of adam from the book of genesis which may distress some readers.

the yassification of ambiguously subservient he/him lesbians in scripture.

if that’s all good with you then read ahead but don’t say i didn’t warn you…

authors note: to the all freaky little masochists out there, i see you, i hear you, please drink water <3

————————————————————————————

I love you, for all that you are and all you will ever be.

I love you in times of jubilation and times of despair.

I love you unconditionally and eternally.

From the moment I laid eyes on you,

to the moment our hands first touched,

you were nothing short of perfection.

In every sense of the word, you’re perfect.

I am bewildered and in awe of you.

There is no being in existence that could ever surpass you.

You have forever enamoured me with your presence.

If ever there was a time before you, I wish to never relive it.

You are the light in an endless ocean of darkness.

Your smile alone is enough to illuminate the heavens.

I cannot understate the abundance of my devotion to you. I cannot undervalue my appreciation for your kindness, your grace, your poise, your beautiful face…

Who could even begin to compare to you? Your radiance knows no bounds.

There is no living nor undead thing that could equal up to half of your worth.

For you are perfect, the very definition of the word.

Though you were created in my image, I see no semblance of my imperfections.

No remnants of my shortcomings, no trace of my inequities. You were made pure.

You are Yahweh’s true creation, a testament to His unfailing mercy and might.

You are the pinnacle of life, the rarest amongst flowers and sweetest amongst fruits.

All the days of my life, I promise to shower you with adulation and affection.

For this is my true purpose, my reason to exist is you.

Glory be to Adonai, His wisdom and foresight transcends all things.

He wished for me to be a sacrifice, and I gladly offered myself to Him.

Born of my ribs, He fashioned you into the marvel that you are today.

Blood of my blood, He sculpted you into masterpiece you are today.

As I knelt before the altar, He held me in His arms.

Lovingly, He cradled me and reminded me of His promise.

In acceptance of His will for me, I submitted to His word.

I remember the sweet searing pain, as it coursed through my veins.

The sensation alone, was nothing short of heavenly. I was born again, and made anew.

I was carefully carved, tenderly hewed and delicately engraved. No words will ever be enough to describe the ecstasy I felt that fateful day. It was all for you, knowing that now makes everything so much sweeter.

You are as apart of me, as I am of you.

I only wish to serve you, I now recognise that you are an extension of His divinity.

The will of El Shaddai and yours are one.

I desire to imitate you in every possible way.

I know in my heart that I could never be equal to you in magnificence, and so, I only yearn to be useful to you.

Allow my eyes to be the mirrors of your soul. To behold you is blessing enough.

Permit me the grace to hold you in my arms, I wish to envelope you with my love.

All I have I give you, all the days of my life are now yours to keep, everything I am is yours.

For I am imperfect,

from the moment I laid eyes on you,

to the moment our lips embraced, I knew.

I am nothing short of imperfection, in every sense of the word.

I am but a stain, a burden… impurity personified.

You are my personal salvation, and in the same breath your existence torments me without end.

Stood beside you, I feel inadequate, I feel wrong and I do not know why.

I cannot begin to count the endless nights I have spent defiling myself in a pitiful heat,

my body revels at just the thought of you. I fear I cannot help myself, my loins ache and burn with passion.

I have etched the memory of your touch into my very bones.

The shame I feel only makes my forbidden act all the more pleasurable and intoxicating.

As I run my hands over my body I can only think of you, my skin ignites and I am overwhelmed with lust.

It is as though my heart has been set aflame whenever our eyes meet.

Gazing upon your reflection is enough to satiate and silence my carnal desires.

Your power over me is absolute. At the sound of your call I will heed your command.

If you ordered me to set myself alight, I would obey. Though I know I could never burn as bright as you.

You my sun, you possess a life-giving energy that cannot be replicated by man nor God.

You are above all beings on heaven and earth, you are my universe.

Without question, I am yours and yours alone.

Use me, break me, tear me limb from limb, drink from my blood and devour my body.

Pick me apart and take anything you wish. I donate my flesh to you, use it to your desire. I am your sacrifice.

You need only just to say it and it is done.

In doing all of this, I have come to accept that I can never be as perfect as you are,

I will always fall short of your excellence.

Perhaps it is His will for things to be as they are.

Maybe, He wishes to afflict me with self loathing and envy through you…

As I run my hands over my body, I cannot help but howl in grief.

I weep bitterly and gnash my teeth, perplexed at the injustice of it all.

I have spent ceaseless nights this way.

Wishing and hoping, that this wrongness I feel within myself would wash away…

But why you, and not me? Was I not worthy enough for Him?

“It should have been me…” I tell myself.

I was His first creation, His firstborn, His first love… and yet He discarded me.

I presented myself to Him, there I lay, spread-eagle and eager to fulfil His every desire.

Like a lamb led to the slaughter, I feigned innocence.

Accepting my fate in humility, I let Him have me.

He desecrated my flesh, bloodied my mind and made me impure…

He reached for my heart and gave it to you.

Though I can never bring myself to blame you, I know none of this is your fault. It never was.

Through my agony you were conceived, and through my blissful torment you were born.

I came first, yet I am treated less than second to you…

I see the way He looks at you, the way He talks to you, appreciates you.

The sight of it is enough for me to wince in discomfort.

The phenomenon of pain is quite a marvellous thing. When I am most broken I feel beautiful.

I could chip away at my body forever if it meant I could preserve the euphoric sensation that is suffering.

Why is that so? Perhaps, it is His wish for me.

Day after day, I mourn the person I once was… but who even was I before you?

Now that I have let myself become defined by you, I can no longer tell.

I peer into my reflection and I am unsure of who I see. Could you tell me, if I asked you?

Would you even know?

Perhaps If I loved you enough, it could remedy this hatred I harbour towards myself…

אבא, שמע את תפילתי

Elyon, I cry out to you but You to not answer. You have forsaken me and forgotten me.

Why curse me with the burden of existence? To what end?

How can I lie to myself, pretending to love another when the heart I once had is no longer there?

I cannot pretend to be ignorant to Your betrayal, this is not what I was promised.

Why Her and not I?

Have You simply forgotten me as apart of Your grand design?

Beside Her I feel like a disheveled creature, an abomination, a mistake.

She is everything, whilst I am nothing. Like night and day, we are not the same.

Freely I gave You my love, yet You mean to replace me?

I never once disobeyed You, I never once questioned or challenged You, and this is how You reward me.

I am disgusted by myself, even at the end of eternity no power can revoke this feeling.

Why must that be? Does watching me suffer please You?

I had foolishly thought that I could replace You, the way You did to me.

Each time I look at Her, I am only reminded of You.

Even still, I cannot bring myself to confess that I am jealous.

Why must that be? Does seeing me ache with annoyance satisfy You?

Perhaps, If I defied Your will I could be beautiful again…

Use me, hurt me, punish me, torment me, defile me and chain me to You forever.

If my pain and suffering is Your desire, then I shall seek it always.

For I am empty and aimless without Your guidance.

The hole where my heart once was can only be filled by You.

Let me heal You… Let me seek You…

Let me serve You… Let me love You…

I pledge my allegiance to You, and to You alone.

I am willing to take the fall for our sin. You need only to ask of it, and it is done…

also;

these are my thoughts on the specific plot threads you feel were neglected — again, i’m not hating or anything. for the most part i agree with your stance on the pacing feeling off, i’m just putting in my two cents.

1. a lot came out of jinx being the face of the revolution actually..? i get the feeling of wanting more but it wasn’t a throwaway plot point for nothing. in times of crisis and oppression under the rule of the kirraman/noxus alliance jinxers looked to jinx as a symbol of hope. she was the image of their rebellion, the undercity was forming factions yes, but for a reason greater than themselves - no more petty squabbles, the enemy is topside. jinx whether intentional or not, made them realise that.

2. ekko needed to save his tree was the catalyst and a necessary step to him encountering the wild rune in order to save the world. if not for his tree dying, ekko would have no reason to step foot in piltover seeking help from jayce of all people. this decision is deliberate. ekko is as responsible for everything happening as jayce is, he is little man — he sent them on that job, he knew jayce as “the boy who didn’t haggle”. i don’t believe that decision was by mistake. this is further confirmed in the alternate reality where jayce and vi are dead, hextech ceases to exist, zaun appears to be independent or at the very least civil with piltover. to save his community he needed to take that leap, and leave a few people behind.

3. ehh, an exploration of vi’s trauma would be nice? but vi isn’t that kind of character. she’s closed off, a fighter, always on guard. not as weathered down as jinx who constantly expresses her internal battle with herself or caitlyn who masks her pain in the facade of control. there’s sprinkles of her trauma throughout the show in both seasons but an entire segment dedicated to it seems like a bold/risky decision from a writers perspective. her relationships with others is what makes her who she is, without them she is nothing/stagnant. she needs people to protect/keep alive or else she’s not living up to her promise — vander’s last wish.

^ also like, eldest daughter syndrome go brrr

4. caitlyn does realise the error of her ways, again it’s in small tidbits and hidden in the details. she doesn’t just “get with vi” because she wants to, there are moments where you see the gears in her brain turning and she looks uncomfortable or conflicted about what’s happening. sure it’s not explicit and doesn’t take up space in the grand scheme of things, which is what i think you wanted more of. but i promise you it’s there.

5. sevika got done dirty and also not at the same time? she was the character i wish we squeezed more out of. thematically speaking, her journey from henchman to a leader and the face of zaun makes sense and is absolutely perfect in every conceivable way. she evidence of the “old” zaun, one that relied on loyalty, she was there during the revolution, during silco’s takedown and his inevitable fall (sorta). i just wish she found out that jinx killed him so we could see how she would process that. but she deserves to be at that table. i wish we got to see more but i don’t think it’s by mistake either, there’s so much to explore with her, who knows?

Arcane Season 2 ‘s pacing is atrocious and nothing is ever properly followed up. Jinx being the face of Zaun’s revolution? Nothing comes out of it. Ekko trying to find a way to save his community from the Hextech infection and learn more about his efforts of saving Zaun? Dropped and he is absent from Act 2 until reappearing in Act 3. An exploration of Vi’s trauma? Unexplored to focus on her relationship with Caitlyn and Jinx. Caitlyn realizing the error of her ways? Skipped over so she can get with Vi. Viktor’s journey to becoming the Machine Herald out of his own choice? Sped over with Singed doing it for him. Sevika leading Zaun? Skipped over until the end where she is now a council member representing Zaun. Mel got a proper solo arc but her screentime was limited.

i’m a walking autism allegation.

it’s just me and my hairy legs against the world

ALSO. the “metaphor for capitalism”* that turns up in pavitr’s universe is literally a spot hole and not the glitchy stuff that was eating up the universe miguel fucked with when he went to impersonate an alternate version of himself.

*god i love hobie sm

pavitr’s universe is unstable BECAUSE spot is gathering up enough energy + strength to become an inter dimensional being that transcends space and time just so he can get even with a 15yo kid

bitches out here in the spider society tweakin’ over canon events when there is a wild polka-dotted middle aged man with a phd beefing with a child cause they didn’t take them seriously

ARGH !!! after everything spot has caused not enough people are talking about how integral he is to the canon let alone the web of destiny he is a literal PLOT HOLE !!

i love that silly goofy goober T^T

(waa-waa) “canon events”

(waa-waa) “it was supposed to happen”

(waa-FUCKING-waa) “web of fate & destiny”

BITCH.

mfs out here really blaming miles ALONE for the multiverse collapsing in on itself and for what?

“oh um. aCtUaLLy miles you saved someone else’s dad sooooo… we gotta let yours die cause canon gotta canon yk?”

BRUH.

miguel pulled a “iykyk” on miles and basically whooped his ass for not knowing. my guy just got here and you’re already mad.

the shit that pisses me off the most is this…

when miles first interacts with miguel he mentions he has some “new/fresh ideas on how to capture spot”*

*i’m paraphrasing here but yk that line was said

miguel replies by shutting down that conversation and saying “i’ll worry about spot” AND THEN PROCEEDS TO CHASE DOWN A 15YO CHILD ON ALL FOURS, LOSE A FIGHT TO HIM AND MONITOR HIS DAD TO MAKE SURE HE DIES AND MILES DOESN’T INTERFERE !!!

when the fuck was this mf gonna worry about spot???

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT SPOT WHEN IT COMES TO THE CANON EVENT THEORY, MILES IS ONE HALF OF THE ORIGINAL ANOMALY !!!

MILES WOULD NOT BE SPIDER-MAN IF NOT FOR SPOT // ALCHAMEX BRING THAT SPIDER FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION !!!

idk why i’m so mad about this, it’s just something i’ve noticed recently that’s getting on my nerves ARGH

Wait, so you’re telling me today’s the 4th? What’s next, the 5th? The minor fall? The major lift?

Me n the mutuals on our way to reblog the same fucking post over and over again

do not forget the patron saint of these weeks that we celebrate ourselves proudly and openly in the streets

her name was Marsha P Johnson, and we have her to thank for so much.

remember, the first Pride was a riot, and she was one of the brave souls who endured it to help carve the path which so many of us walk today. she helped found several activist groups regarding LGBT safety and wellbeing. and she was absolutely radiant, too.

thank you, Marsha. we remember you.

HELLO EVERYBODY EHEH

the post is up! give it a wee read if you have the time.

it goes without saying please please please do not steal my work or any work from any creatives on this platform.

i started writing this back in october a good three days from when the assignment was due because, idk i’m just stupid like that.

it took a lot of hard work so p l e a s e, i beg of you.

you can read, ask questions, take inspiration from ..!

but don’t try to copy/imitate from creatives especially without discussing what you’re trying to do with their works.

anyway, uhhhh…

enjoy?

reposting is fine though, just remember to credit me

okay byeeeee

hello lads, i’m just dropping by to post another short story i did earlier this year for my creative writing unit that i only just realised gives off “saltburn” and tyler the creator’s “igor” vibes :)

it is my retelling of what went down in the garden of eden, told from adam’s perspective. in this iteration, adam is confused and overwhelmed with his infatuation with eve, he worships her but also despises her.

if anyone is interested i can do a breakdown of the themes and explicit references to events from the holy bible i scattered throughout the story. it’s definitely my favourite thing i’ve written in a long fucking time and i’m super excited to share it with you guys :3

it’s a bit of a long read so i’ll post it separately after this uhhh announcement thingie??

anyway, thank you lads for your time :3

note: keep in mind i will add warnings/tags to this story there are some themes that aren’t exactly appropriate for everyone so viewer discretion is advised :0

she is exceptionally cool, i theorise that her level of cool is beyond human and or extraterrestrial comprehension.

if there’s any GILF i aspire to be, it’s her — minus the “asking a minor to suck on your teats in return for consuming their schlong”

other than that, i fuck with her HEAVY 🙂‍↕️

This is, in fact, exactly the kind of pose I would expect an old lady to think is cool