MCSCUSE ME, BITCH

my sense of humor:

suggesting “kill them” as punishment for an extremely disproportionate crime  (”he stole my eraser” “kill him”)

staring at an object that has fallen over for a prolonged amount of time and with inordinate disappointment

*points at a garbage can* “that’s me”

zooming really far into someone’s face on snapchat

*something minorly inconveniencing happens* “@god what did I ever do to you”

“what are you doing” “my best”

shortening words that are already shorter versions of other words (ex: thank, congrat, welc)

“Bees?”

Jinkies!

What are the most important skills an astronaut should have m?

First of all, the basic requirement is a bachelor’s degree in a STEM field, and 3 years of experience (which can also be substituted for by an advanced degree). Other than that, operational experience (things with a technical/active/hands on nature like flying airplanes, SCUBA diving, taking things apart and putting them back together, basic fix-it skills, etc. etc.) is very important, as this is an integral aspect of every day of a space mission.  What we call “expeditionary skills” are also essential, basically the types of things you try to instill in your children, like how to play nicely with others, self care, team care, etc.  I like to think about this on the lines of a camping trip and who you would like to have along with you …someone that is competent and can take good care of themselves and their equipment, someone that contributes to the team and helps with group tasks, someone that is good natured and pleasant to be around, etc., someone fun!  These things are increasingly important now that we are regularly doing long duration missions (typical International Space Station mission is 6 months).  Experience living in extreme/remote/isolated environments with small teams is also useful, as it is similar to what we experience as astronauts.     

This is the most Canadian thing I've ever seen

Fully Functional and Driveable Truck Made of Ice

A Canadian ice sculpture company called Iceculture took on an incredible challenge recently. The result is pretty much unbelievable.

Canadian Tire, a battery company, wanted to showcase just how well their batteries hold up in the cold. The best way to do that? Build an 11,000+ pound, fully functional and driveable ice truck. Every part of the truck that is not absolutely necessary for driving is made of ice.

I know everyone is really sad right now so have a video of my three legged dog trying to catch water

when you rockstar af

Children are wild

Today one of my students threw a stuffed animal across the room and it landed directly in a plate filled with paint

And I had it narrowed down to a few kids but no one would confess so I made them all put their toys away and have five minutes of quiet time to Reflect on Their Behavior

During that five minutes of relative silence, this group of three year olds INVENTED A NEW CLASSMATE, named him, and unanimously blamed him for throwing the toy across the room

There was not a single weak link, they were all ride or die

Unreal

When I was in 6th grade I was going through my emo phase so one day I came to school wearing all black and my teacher said “What’re you all dressed up for? Going on a hot date?” and in the saddest voice that i could muster I said “Yeah… a date with death” and she stopped talking to me for the rest of the school day