Pmeep - Pmeep

im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice

guy in the frozen food aisle walking around with his hands behind his back like he's at a museum

[first day as a hostage negotiator]

bank robber: these rich fucks ruined me life! I want ten million dollars and a helicopter

me: bitch me too. I'm switching sides

cut my life in Two pieces i share it with a friend :) 

they thells she shells by the he whore

“counterspell” or as i like to call it “Nuh uh”

that canary stopped making noise but its so dark in here i cant find it to make sure its ok can someone light a match so i can look

you're too logged on man your consumption of internet porn has severed your psychospiritual connection with the beauty of the natural land. i spent 10 months in sensory deprivation exclusively cranking it to the gentle soundscape of a babbling brook and now when i hear the tap on a soda machine go off i bust so hard the gas station clerk has to call the police

The End by Artem Chebokha